


Liebe mich

by Rammnova



Category: Emigrate (Band), Rammstein
Genre: Angst, BDSM, Dom/sub, Fluff and Smut, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-28
Updated: 2017-07-26
Packaged: 2018-11-20 04:27:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 12
Words: 47,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11328588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rammnova/pseuds/Rammnova
Summary: Every thing was rainbows and unicorns in Richard and Schneider's relationships until something happens and a shit storm is wrapped around them. (story sets in the year 2002)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I finally decided to write a story with some sort of plot and more than one chapter since I've been really obsessing over writing fics lately, I'm still new at this so please excuse any errors in my writing.

Richard opened his eyes and groaned with the annoying brightness when his eyes adjusted he noticed Chris laying on his side, head propped up on his elbow. The drummer was looking at him with the most loving and beautiful smile.  
"And my little sun finally shines on my day" Chris whispered and Richard groaned while rolling over to him, hiding his face in the crook of his lover's neck pushing him into the mattress. Chris laughed and wrapped his arms around the smaller man.

"Is tonight the night?" Richard asked.

"Yeah baby, we should be there by 8:30" 

"fuck this shit" He groaned and curled as close to Chris as possible.

They were supposed to attend a Rammstein party which was held by their record company in honor of their successful tour that year (The Mutter Tour).

"We haven't seen any human being in over three weeks and honestly I couldn't be happier about it," Richard stated.

"We saw the delivery guys a lot tho" Chris corrected him.

"Oh they're not human beings, they're angels sent by god to provide us with food and grocery" 

Chris laughed loud at his statement. "Remember the one who thought you were being kept hostage cuz you were covered with bruises?" 

Richard laughed remembering that. "But seriously, is there any way we can ditch tonight?" He looked at Chris with hope in his bright eyes. Chris looked at him with a smile and brushed his thumb over his lips and jaw. "No baby, you know the others will kill us. Besides if you promise to be a good boy tonight, you'll be rewarded after the party, how's that sound pretty?" He bent and kissed Richard on his chest.

"hmmm...what kind of reward?" 

"the kind that'll make us need a new bed, that sounds good enough?"

"ummm...I love that kind," He said and glanced at Chris's lips and licked his own, "what's that look now?" He asked Richard with a devilish smile.  
"you know." Richard answered and took his bottom lip between his teeth with a smile. 

"I want you to say it" 

"Kiss me" The small man said in his sweetest most flirtatious tone. 

Chris smiled and and connected their lips, He licked his baby's lips and bit them lightly and sucked on it when he swallowed Richard's whine. He rolled on top of Richard, took his wrists and pinned them above his head. Richard moaned into his mouth and parted his legs. "The things I'm gonna do to you" He whispered with a predatory smile and looked into the dark pretty eyes. Richard moaned at his words and pushed his hips up. "Aww not now baby boy, now we'll go to the kitchen and I'll make you something to eat then take you to the shower and wash your lovely obedient body, then I'll paint your nails and put makeup on your pretty face and after that, sadly, I'll have to dress you for the party."

"I'm not a doll, you know?" Richard giggled.

"Of course not baby, you're my pretty little sunny boy" He said lovingly and kissed Richard's forehead.

"I like being your little sunny boy, daddy" He said playfully and moved his legs up and down Chris's Sides.  
"come on baby get up before something else does, bathroom first then come to the kitchen" he got off Richard and the man under him whined with protest saying "what if I want something else to get up?"  
Chris rolled him over and spanked his ass playfully then brushed his lips on the smooth skin of Richard's ass cheek. "you needy little slut. bathroom, now" he commanded while laughing and getting out of the bedroom.

Richard groaned after him but got up eventually.  
He went to the kitchen after he put on Chris's t-shirt and boxers. There were two plates of ceaser salad on the table. he loved that food, he cheered happily and kissed his boyfriend's cheek as a thank you and they started eating. 

"What am I gonna wear?" Richard asked anxiously when they were done eating.  
"hey, don't worry. We'll find you something. plus you look good in everything"  
"last time I wore a suit, fuckin Paul said I looked like a lesbian." he pouted and punched Chris when he rolled in laughter.  
"baby I'm sorry, oh God,,, you don't look like a lesbian sweetheart. If you were a girl, I'd say you'd be a princess, a straight cock loving princess. which you kinda are"

"say more things like that" Richard pouted at him sweetly and Chris softly laughed. 

"OK let's get you washing and I'll tell you more, come on angel" He held his hand out for Richard  and took him to the bathroom and rid both of them off their clothes. He turned the water on and when the temperature was good, took Richard's hand and slowly dragged him under the spray of water. "my beautiful princess"  he whispered and kissed Richard's shoulder as the younger man blushed deep red and looked at the floor. Chris smiled at him "look at my shy little flower" he then took the soap and started washing Richard. he was tensed up with his arms crossed over his chest. "hey look at me,,, you have nothing to be embarrassed about"  he took the smaller man's chin firmly between his fingers and made him look up. Richard was still deep red. "maybe you're embarrassed cuz you love it when I call you that, huh princess?"  Richard blushed darker and looked down again. He was so adorable Chris could just die for him. So sweat and small, Chris could spoil him all day, every day. He loved spoiling his little baby. He kept telling him that there was nothing to be embarrassed about, and kissed every inch of his body while washing him. Richard just looked at him the whole time, listening to Chris telling him how good and pretty he was, how plaint and warm his wet body was. He made no noise except for occasional beautiful humms.  
"Will you let me wash you?" he asked when Chris was done with him. He smiled at the guitarist and handed him the soap. "but if you tease me and make me hard, you'll be in trouble Richard. Real trouble, I told you I won't fuck you before the party and I meant it" 

"Aw come on, why not?" he pouted as he started slowly washing his boyfriend. 

"cuz I want you leaking and sloppy and as horny as possible " he said and enjoyed Richard's expression. It was something between being shy and horny, it was beautiful and Richard stared at him with a slightly open mouth and swallowed hard before answering. 

"have you met me? I'm always as horny as possible" he said darkly with a trace of sarcasm. Chris looked down at his crotch and licked his lips, Richard was hard. The drummer laughed, low and dark. "I should start teaching you how to control yourself, you're too easy baby" 

"you love how easy I am, you asshole" he said and smacked at Chris's shoulder. 

"that's true but let's see,,,if you don't make that pretty boner of yours gone without touching it, you'll spend tonight's party with your favorite black butt plug up your delicious tight ass" 

Richard swallowed hard and stared at Chris, he wasn't joking. Richard was well aware of the torture that the butt plug caused when he wasn't allowed to cum. One time as punishment Chris made him wear the butt plug during a whole show. It was the most heavenly hell ever, but this was different, tonight he was gonna be in a bright room full of people who he had to talk to and there was no guitar to cover his crotch. It took all his energy to make his boner go away. When they were done with the shower, Chris did exactly as he promised. Painted Richard's nails, put makeup on him and kept him naked the whole time without touching him. It was an agonizing torture, Richard wanted to beg at his feet that he touches him or let him touch himself. But didn't. He kept taking deep breaths and thought of the most disgusting topics possible. Paul and Tills farting contest back in their tour, yes that's disgusting enough, funny but disgusting. Flake masturbating as a teenager when he and Paul lived together, Paul told them the story. Yes that was working. He was fine.  
They helped each other pick their suits for the night. Chris agreed with the first suit that Richard said looked good on him, but Richard tried all his suits till he finally picked a silver-grey one with a white shirt. Chris was used to Richard's diva-like attitude, he even grew to like it, it was kinda cute. "we're late Princess, are you do--"  Chris's words got stuck in his throat when he saw Richard in front of him. The smell of his cologne took the air out of the room or it was just him? The black eyeliner along with the spiky hair made him look dangerous, the suit made him the literal definition of lust, specially the top two buttons of his shirt which he left open.  
"So?" he turned around in front of Chris.  
"I think if I hadn't promised I wouldn't touch you before the party, I'd rip your suit off you and tied you up and fucked you senselessly till you pass out" 

"why don't you break your promise then?" Richard said as he walked towards him and wrapped his arms around his neck with an evil grin.

"you're the fuckin devil, I swear Reesh" he took his head in his hands and wildly attacked his mouth. He bit hard at Richard's lips as he moaned from the pain, Chris sucked his tounge and licked inside his hot velvet mouth, Richard moaned loud as he was gripping on Chris's jacket lapels. Chris suddenly pulled away and pressed their foreheads together and tried to get his breathing under control. "You little slut,,, you're lucky we're so fuckin late or else you'd be walking to that goddamn party with our biggest butt plug up your ass"  
Richard was too stunned at his words to say anything. "let's go"  Chris growled and shoved him out of the room. They got into Chris's car, the drive through was mostly silent, they shared three or four cigarettes without a word.  
As they arrived at the party, Chris looked at Richard who was staring out the window. "ready?"  his tone was still harsh.  
"No" the answer came back quietly as Richard turned his head and gave him a shy look and leaned forward to hug his boyfriend tightly. "I don't wanna be around so many strangers when you're mad at me, please Chris, love me, I can't do this if you don't love me"  he whispered quietly into the drummer's neck. Richard never asked Chris whether or not he loved him, he always told him, some how commanded him to love him. He was like a little puppy who rubbs himself against you and stares at you with big doey eyes and if they could talk they'd definitely said "love me"  to their owners a lot. Chris held him tight in his arms "I'm not mad at you baby, I love you my beautiful bunny, OK? more than anything else. you have nothing to worry about, my love. so relax, can you do that for me?"  he whispered sweetly in his ear. Richard hummed in response. "hey... look at me"  he kissed every part of Richard's face from his forehead down to his jaw and throat and Richard closed his eyes in pure peace. "Stay at my side if you think you might get nervous, OK? I've got you sweetheart. hmm?"   
Richard hummed again and finally agreed to enter the party about half hour late.


	2. Chapter 2

As they walked in, Paul and Ollie were the first ones who greeted them. 

"you two are late" Paul announced slightly annoyed. 

"you don't say paulchen," Chris rolled his eye at his friend and added "this one took forever to get ready, you know how he is"  he added and pointed at Richard with a trace of humor in his voice. 

"I told you that was the case, Paul" Ollie said with a big grin.

"hey...I'm right here you assholes... and I need a drink" Richard was annoyed but it was obvious he was faking it judging by the grin that came with his frown. He left his friends to go and get a drink. 

"He's too stressed, is it the party or did you two have a fight?" Ollie asked Schneider like a concerned mother. 

"Juses Chris Ollie, how can you tell? it's kinda both but it's more about the stress thing, we're good now." Chris assured him. 

"I've known him since I was 15, you pick up a few things when you've known someone for this long" He answered wisely. 

"fair enough"

They greeted with everyone else and the people at the party. Each one of them was surrounded by a group of people they were talking to. Chris kept one eye on Richard the whole time, he wasn't too far from him, standing by the buffet speaking to their manager, he had his fourth glass of champagne in hand and looked generally calm but Chris knew better. Judging by the way his fingers were tracing shapes on his glass while squeezing it and the fact that he was tapping on his leg with his other hand told Chris that his lover was too tense. He suddenly caught Chris watching him and let out a breath as he saw the reassuring smile on the drummer's lips, he smiled shyly and resumed his conversation. 

"extraordinary, isn't he?" Chris's thoughts about how beautiful Richard was when he was shy, were interrupted by a rough voice next to him.  
"excuse me?" he turned and saw a tall muscular man, he was bald and had beard, he was fat but it was obvious that his body had seen better days, he seemed to be in his forties. He was basically checking Richard out which made Schneider very annoyed.  
"your lead guitarist I mean. He's amazing, isn't he?" He clarified himself for Chris.  
"uh... yes he sure is"  
"sorry, I didn't mean to sound creepy. I'm Todd, head of security." he held his hand out for Chris "oh... sorry I didn't know. I'm Schneider" they shook hands.  
"I know you, the drummer who used to be in the army" He smiled and showed his tiny set of teeth.  
"Yes... not my best memories tho" 

"tell me about it, the Russians fucked us up pretty good" He snorted.  
Chris would get really uncomfortable talking about stuff like this, he'd be reminded of those stupid protest gatherings he used to go to and of course all the shit he went through during his two years of service. He noticed Richard was now standing by himself looking lost and staring at the floor.  
"Yeah... good thing it's all over now. hey,,, um,,, excuse me, I gotta go. It was nice meeting you" Chris said quickly not really even remembering the guy's name.  
"sure man, you too." was all he said. 

 

"How you feeling baby?" he whispered softly to Richard when he got to him and stood two inches away from his lover.  
"The stress is mostly gone since I'm a little tipsy,,,, well almost drunk" He said in a funny shaky voice that made Chris laugh at his ultimate cuteness.  
"I'm sooo gonna eat you up when we get home" 

"Will you?" 

"consider yourself eaten up, pretty boy"

"how about a little preview in the bathroom? at this point I'll cum with you only looking at me" He said seductively, his eyes were dark. Chris was so turned on that all he wanted was to take Richard up on his offer but they had a cover to maintain, no one in that room knew about them being a couple except for their bandmates.  
He looked into the dark languishing eyes "baby you know we can't do that, if anyone catches us it'll be catastrophic" 

"At least let me go jerk off while I fantasize about what you're gonna do to me when we get home" He whined lewdly.  
"jerk of in the bathroom? what is this, a high-school?" He laughed trying to push the hot thought of Richard jerking off away.  
"you jerked off in your school's bathroom?" Richard was suddenly amused. 

"didn't you?" Chris raised an eyebrow.  
"I had sex in high school" Richard smirked with snobbery.  
"Yeah I forgot you were Mr Sluty" He rolled his eyes and sneered.  
"hey I was technically a virgin when you and I got together" he defended himself. This wasn't a lie and Chris knew, he never bottomed before he met Chris and after that he never wanted to top again.  
"Yeah you were my little maiden" he sneered again making Richard laugh and slightly blush.  
"and as for your previous request, no Richard you're not allowed to jerk off in the bathroom tonight. Understood?" 

"god you're so cruel, you give me the mental image of you touching yourself as a teenager and then you won't let me have my little fun." He pouted. Chris laughed but before he could come up with another teasing come back he was cut off by Paul approaching them. 

"why are you two almost crouching? Can't you stand up a little more STRAIGHT?"   
Till and Ollie laughed while Chris and Richard rolled their eyes "you pun loving smart ass shit"  Chris muttered annoyed. 

"I'm sorry, are we interrupting something?" Ollie asked sarcastically.  
"I think we are Ollie, looks like they were sexpeaking. you know? Speaking about sexy stuff until you look like,,, that" he pointed at the couple's faces with shaky finger and blury eyes.  
Till was giggling to himself mouthing the phrase 'sexpeaking' they both seemed drunk. 

"look like what? How do I look like?" Richard asked completely self conscious. 

"you're bllllushed" Till slured and made them laugh. "you're eyes aren't blue anymore" he added.  
"he's horny" Paul whispered to Till and covered his mouth like a school kid. They both started giggling together. Ollie and Schneider burst into laughter while Richard was cussing at all of them.  
"Seriously, I'm gonna go get some air. Fuck all of you" He was annoyed but also kinda couldn't stop the small huff of laughter. He left his friends while shaking his head to go out and clear his mind.  
He exited the mansion, a cool breeze brushed his face, he reached out for his cigarette and lit it while walking, he sat on a bench in a dark corner of the garden. He usually didn't have this big of a problem with social gatherings, he didn't really like them but non of them never made him feel this edgy and irritated. He lit the second cigarette and heard a movement from behind him then the sound of leaves rustling. He jumped and asked into the darkness "um... Who's there?" he saw a big shadow "the fuck?" he murmured to himself.  
"Hey,,, don't worry, I'm sorry" The figure came forward and Richard saw the man who was talking to Chris earlier.  
"oh... It's ok, I-I didn't hear you" He said as the man walked up to him. 

"again, so sorry. May I seat?" He had a thick accent. Richard motioned towards the bench and offered him his cig pack, he took one and thanked him. "it's Richard, right? I'm Todd, head of security. I was just checking the area."  
"oh,,, I saw you inside talking to Schneider, nice to meet you" Richard was surprised hearing his own slurry voice, he felt more drunk by the minute.  
"you two sure exchange a lotta looks" He said and exhaled the smoke. 

Richard's foggy brain just thought it was a good idea to shut his mouth and just huff a laugh. 

"Hey listen, one of my guys is a big fan of yours, would you mind coming with me so he can maybe take a photo with you or something? It's his birthday and he can't leave his spot since he's on duty, he's just down the garden" 

"ummm... yeah OK man, sure" Richard felt his stomach stirring, he cursed himself mentally for getting drunk.  
The two men stood up and started walking. They walked for about three minutes in silence till they reached at the end of the garden.  
"Hey,,, scorpy you there man? I brought you a birthday present" He yelled into darkness. Again Richard saw the silhouette of a man, he was even bigger than Todd. He approached them and stood under the weak light of the spotlight, He was bald and his head was covered with tattoos which weren't completely decipherable in the bad lighting. His face was full of scars which were stretched out because he was smiling and showing his yellow teeth. A smile that was so creepy it would send chills down your spine. "Hello Zven" the rough voice washed Richard with nausea, a scratchy voice he could never forget, a voice that he still had nightmares about. In all those nightmares there was only one person in a room with grey walls with him: Scorpio.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kinda have a plot in my head for this one, but I'm not sure how to write it. I hope it doesn't suck.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe I did this to Reesh and Schneider. May the god of fire and flamethrowers forgive my damned soul.

His whole inside melted at that sound, it triggered everything back. Every fuckin thing he tried to forget over all these years. Every mental obstacle Chris had helped him over come with his constant love and care for him. All of it, the sound of the iron railings screaming and their shadows on the grey walls inside the dark concrete corridors as they had hit the end of the railing and produced the sound of a thousand souls in hell: the Stasi hell.  
It wasn't even the worst part. The worst part was hearing people scream hopelessly begging the officers who were torturing them to stop. It sounded like they were preparing people for their mummifying ritual. Like they were scoping their eyes out while burning and ripping their skin telling them to confess to something they hadn't done. Richard could hear all of it. He still could remember the sound of them screaming and the smell of burning flesh and blood. It was suffocating.  
Then there was him: Scorpio. The demon of torment.  
He was assigned to Richard and couple of others. Richard still remembered every second of those six days in there. Every thing Scorpio did to him, every word he said, every thread he made and his last words to the young man: I will find you and I will finish my job.  
Now there he was, in front of Richard. Standing there with the most horrid grin on his despicable face looking at Richard like a hunter at a deer. Richard felt his skin getting colder and colder wrapped tightly around his hot intestines. His skin was clenching around his body, his already weak knees were threatening to give away. His mouth was annoyingly dry as if his glands weren't able to produce anymore saliva. His eyes were wide and blood red, his heart wasn't in his chest anymore, he could feel it beating hard inside his stomach as he felt nauseated.  
"I told you we'd meet again and I'm a man of my word" He murmured and walked towards Richard. His mortified body couldn't make itself move. He just stood there and stared at the face of his nightmares. When Scorpio was towering over him, Richard felt a hand wrapping around his head, covering his mouth, it was Todd. Suddenly Richard realized he had to do something. He tried to free himself but failed miserably. His scream was muffled by the hand over his mouth, they pulled him back until he was on the ground and his head was hit on the pavement. A sharp pain resonated inside his head blocking his mind. All he wanted was to scape. Todd sat above him on his arms and covered his mouth again while Scorpio straddled him and started undoing his pants.  
"you're a fuckin faggot, huh? what do we do to faggots at stasi? we make them our worthless cum bags" he had the most disgusting look on his face. Richard's eyes were filled with horror 'no no no... I can't let him do that, no no please no" he screamed inside his own head. Scorpio lifted the helpless man's hips up and pulled his pants down to his knees, then undid his own pants and rubbed his hard member on Richard's flabby cock, Richard tried to move but all he managed was scratching the skin of his back on the gravel of the garden, it hurt like hell.  
"oooh I like them when they're not willing, makes me feel more powerful, you know Zven?" He parted Richard's legs with pressure and positioned himself on his tight and completely dry entrance and tried to move himself to a more comfortable position before entering him. It was Richard's window, he remembered his days as a wrestler and pulled his legs up to his knees and kicked him in his face with the insole of his shoes and the rapist was shoved back on the ground, Scorpio cried out in pain and took his bleeding face in hands. Richard had only one second to make his next move since Todd was still in shock of the small man's latest action. Richard pushed his legs and hips up and bent his body upward and by some miracle he could kick Todd in his head and now he was free, he jumped up and pulled his pants up and ran for his life. When he reached the front of the garden he fell on the ground and started vomiting uncontrollably.  
"Richard? oh... shit" it was Chris, he heard his beloved's voice.  
"Richard where were you? is that blood? why are your clothes ripped?" Chris was terrified. He grabbed Richard's shoulders and massaged them, "Chris" Richard breathed out in distress completely freaked out. He clutched into Chris's shirt.  
"baby I'm here, what happened?" He held Richard's face in his hands.  
"He... him,,, it was... Stasi,,, touched me,,, Scor--pi" He said words between hard sharp breathes.  
"WHAT?" his blood ran cold as he yelled and it caused Richard to jump, he suddenly regretted it.  
"Scorpio from Stasi? he's here?"  
"Todd,,, was with him" was all Richard managed.  
"oh my God, oh my God Richard. Let me call the police, that mother fucker,,, "  
Richard clutched harder in his shirt to stop him "No,,,, home... Please Chris, take me home"

"OK,,, alright sweetheart I'll take you home, but let me check if you need a doctor first"

"I don't. home...Please" he begged.  
Chris didn't listen and examined him until he was sure that his physical injuries weren't serious.

When they got into the car, Chris handed Richard a bottle of water and helped him drink it. The younger man flopped down into the seat as Chris started the engine and drived. Richard leaned his head towards the window and refused to do more than blinking. When they arrived home Chris took him to their bedroom, his whole frame was shaking.  
"Do you want to take a shower, sweetheart? I could--" He was interrupted when Richard pushed in his chest and pinned him to the wall, there was something in his eyes that scared Chris. Without a word he fumbled with Chris's belt until he got it out and sank on his knees holding the belt out for him while staring at the floor.  
"Master,,, punish me, please" his voice was stern and it gave Chris the chills.  
Chris got down and crouched next to him, Richard didn't move a muscle or look up.  
"Richard,,, what are you doing? don't do this please, you're in shock, let me---"

"I need to be punished master, punish me please" he interrupted Chris with the exact same cold voice.

"Look at me" Chris realized there was no way of getting through to him when he was like that.  
He looked up. His face was completely stripped of emotions and it terrified Chris to his core.  
"Why do you want to be punished?" He asked softly but tried to sound dominant cuz he knew Richard wanted it at the moment.

"I was touched by someone other than you" Chris's heart clenched at the sudden pitch in his voice. "I can not be touched by anyone but you." the same emotionless voice came out.  
"baby it wasn't your fault, mein lieber you didn't do anything wrong, not a thing" He said in his softest tone and tried to hold Richard in his arms when the smaller man pulled back in panic, his face was now fully terrified.  
"No,,, no hugging, no holding,,, please, you have to hit me,,, please you have to beat the feel of that filthy touch out of me,,,"  
The sight of him begging like that on his knees completely helpless and lost was killing Chris, he spent all his energy in order to not break into sobs. He didn't know what the fuck to do, if he said yes, he had to hit his beloved in that state. Any other time he'd do it gladly because it was their sex life, both of them wanted it and needed it but this was different, it wasn't about sex, it was about Richard wanting chris to beat the shit out of him. Plain and simple. Chris knew Richard enough to understand why he needed it right now, his brain didn't function like other people. What he'd just said to Chris was exactly what he felt, he needed the touch out of him or Chris was sure he'd attempt harming himself in more serious ways, he looked like he wanted to rip out his own skin.  
Without a word the drummer approached the shaking mess of a body. He took the belt from him  
"strip and kneel by the end of the bed" He used all he had to make himself sound composed and stern. Richard needed all the dominance he could get right now. He complied and stripped off his clothes and knelt by the bed. Chris saw the scratches on his sides and back. His stomach stirred in anger. Chris took their metal pair of hand coughs out of the drawer and tied Richard up to the pipe by the end of the bed.

"lay your upper body on the bed"  
Richard did as instructed.

"Do you know why you're being beaten?"

"Yes Master" still the emotionless voice.

"Tell me"

"To get the filth ripped out of my skin"

"I want you to count, every single lash, I want you to feel it, to replace it with whatever you don't want there. I want you to concentrate on the pain and I want you to understand that non of this is your fault"

"Yes Master, thank you Master" he whispered as he shoved his face into the mattress.

Chris swallowed and mustered all his energy and landed the first lash on him.

"eins" 'why is your voice like that, my love?'

"zwei" 'please feel it'

"drei" 'It's not your fault'

"vier" 'I will never leave you'

"fünf" 'I wish I could save you'

"sechs" 'You're my heart'

"sieben" 'you're feeling it'

"acht" 'I love you with every fiber of my being'

"neun" 'Don't stop shining my beautiful sun'

Chris stopped for a second, tears were now completely wetted his face and made his eyes red. Richard was motionless. His ass was red with shiny swelled thick lines. Chris was holding his breath so his silent sobs couldn't be heard by Richard. He started hitting his angel again. Richard's voice raised louder with each lash, after counting 19 he was almost screaming. Chris stopped at twenty. Richard's ass was bleeding and he was shaking like a leaf.  
The dominant wiped his tears before he undid the coughs.

"lie on your back"

Richard crawled on the bed and laid on it with difficulty, his face scrunched in pain. Chris rid himself of his clothes and took something else from the drawer and picked the coughs again. He straddled Richard.  
"Arms up" He bounded his wrists to the bed pipes again and looked deep in his eyes. "Do you trust me?"  
Richard stared back at him "Yes Master" the answer came back after three seconds but firm and assured.  
"I'm gonna put a blindfold over your eyes and I'm gonna kiss every inch of you and while I do so, you're gonna tell me which parts of you they touched. I want you to see me inside your head and feel me on your skin and hear my voice, I want you to replace them with me. Can you do that?"

"yes Master"

Without another word Chris put the blindfold over his head and put his hand on the sides of Richard's head and bent down so his only body part connected to the younger man was his lips. He started from kissing his forehead, on his cheeks and jaw, he kissed his lips and wetted his dry lips with his tongue. "there" Richard said with a shaky voice. Chris swallowed, it was harder than he thought.  
"Did he kiss you?" He kept his voice neutral.  
"He put a hand over my mouth" The same shaky voice.  
Chris kissed the corners of his mouth and his cheeks and jaw again and continued his way down to his neck and throat and his chest, he kissed his nipples. Every part that he passed and the tied up man stayed silent made Chris a little relieved. He kissed his armpit and up his arms when he heard Richard again.  
"He took my arms so I wouldn't move"  
Chris let out a breath and put another kiss on his upper arm then sucked on the flesh there until it bruised and did the same with his other arm.  
He traveled down his stomach and sides while kissing him softly and lovingly. When he reached his hips Richard spoke again.  
"he lifted my hips to pull down my pants"  
Chris couldn't stop his tears, they fell on Richard's skin as he was sucking and biting on the mentally wounded flesh of his beloved. Richard moaned quietly as Chris reached his thighs. His body was getting moisted by Chris's saliva along with his tears.  
"He parted my legs"  
Chris was now between his legs and his lips were less than two inches away from his erected member. He bit and sucked at his inner thighs and caused him to shudder and let out moan. Chris was feeling it too, the lust slowly building inside him. He kept kissing him and went down till he reached at his feet and kissed his toes one by one. At this point Richard was completely horny. Chris came back up and took Richard's hard length in his grip.  
"Was he inside you?" Asking this question was the hardest thing he had to do, he was hurting himself too much but didn't care, as long as it'd help Richard.  
"No,,, he rubbed himself against... against me" His voice wasn't emotionless anymore, he was feeling something.  
Chris started kissing every inch of his cock from the base to the tip, Richard moaned beautifully under his touch. He licked it and Richard willingly spread his legs. "Master..." He whimpered.  
He got up and picked up the bottle of lube and coated his own fully erected member with it and aligned him self between Richard's gorgeous sprawled legs. He bent and whispered in Richard's ear while brushing his lips on the skin there "Do you want me inside you?"

"I do,,, please master"

"I'm not going to fuck you Richard, I'm going to make love to you"  
Richard moaned at his words and arched his back as Chris slowly entered him. "feel me, my love. feel every inch of me falling inside your beautiful body. I want to make love to your soul, to your whole existence" he started moving slowly and then took the blindfold off Richard's eyes, his eyes were shut tightly, Chris brushed his lips over his eyelids. "open your eyes for me, my beautiful sunshine" He slowly opened his eyes. "see? It's only me" He smiled at his lieber through wet eyes.  
Chris found his lover's sweet spot and brushed over it with each slow thrust. Richard was moaning under him. Mouth slightly open and eyes fixed on his dominant.  
"You're a part of me, baby. Do you feel it? feel only me, just me. My whole world belongs to you and you belong with me"

"Chris..."

"Yes my sweet love, I'm right here. you're safe, my angel"

He felt Richard clenching around him as he threw his head back and pulled on the strings. Chris reached and freed his hands "touch my skin my love, as you touched my soul. Feel me"

Richard wrapped his arms around Chris's back and his legs around his waist.

"you make me want to worship at your feet every day, and I do. you're my fetish"

He picked up his pace as he felt Richard was on edge.

"I can feel you,,, I want to-to melt in your arms, Chris... I want to be yours,,, I want to submit every piece of my soul and body to you,,, only you,,, please,,, Chris... "  
He moaned loud into Chris's neck.  
"You are mine Richard, we belong together, your everything I want from this life."  
He thrusted deeper and harder, Richard was digging into the flesh of his back. It burned so damn good and hot.  
"Come on baby,,, you can let go, I'm here for you, I'll stay inside you after you're finished, come on give yourself to me, I'll keep you safe"  
He kissed and licked his neck until Richard finally let go and came hard between them spilling both their chests and stomachs, Chris licked Richard's semen off his chest as he thrusted and came hard and filled Richard up, the man underneath him almost came again from the pleasure of the hot fluid pouring inside him.  
"Chris please,,, don't wipe it, I want to see my cum on your skin as yours is inside me" He pleaded, some of his spill was still on Chris's lips "kiss me" Richard pleaded again.  
Chris smiled at him and moved to kiss him "taste yourself from my mouth" the drummer said and met his lips, Richard opened up for him as Chris's hot tongue invaded his mouth. They kissed until they needed to breath. Chris rolled them on their sides still inside him.

"I'm yours" Richard whispered from inside the other one's neck.

"Only mine" Chris kissed his temple and kept his lips there while fondling his silky hair. "I want to crawl inside your pretty head and kiss every inch of your beautiful mind and wipe all your bad thoughs away"

"then I'd lock you in my head so you couldn't leave"

"I don't wanna leave, Richard. Even if you kick me out I'll crawl back through the fuckin window."

"Thank you for saving me"

"Sleep my sunny boy, I'll be here when you wake up" he pressed his lips on his lover's temple again as they both fell asleep completely spent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as a kid I used to write a lot, in my mother's tongue of course. I could replace myself in all my stories and be whoever I wanted. I spent all day today to write this chapter cuz I was feeling it, I knew I was writing it for me. Stuff I really needed to get out through Rammstein. it's longer than usual but I just couldn't stop the words from flowing out of my brain.  
> so now here I am sharing it with you. Thank you.


	4. Chapter 4

Richard was woken up with wet kisses trailing on his shoulder, he felt Chris's lips on him as he groaned. Richard turned to face him and looked up at his lover with red eyes above him. Chris's thumb was slowly brushing over his face, they stared at each other for minutes, exploring. Each of them looked for something in the other one's eyes. Then their eyes slowly found their ways in the direction of each other's lips. Chris tilted his head before closing the distance between them. They kissed for minutes: shy and slow and lazy. Tongues touching each other, no teeth was involved. The two of them only claimed each other with their mouths.  
"Good morning, sunshine" Chris whispered with a smile as their lips were now only brushing.  
"mornin'" Richard mumbled sweetly.  
"Do you want me to take you to the shower? Or do you want to do it yourself?" The dominant asked softly. He was hoping Richard would let him take care of him but also wanted the small man to know that he wasn't forcing him.  
"You" was all he mumbled and made Chris smile. Chris took him to the bathroom and started slowly and lovingly washing him. The cuts of the lashes were nasty and covered with dried out blood. He washed Richard first, not touching his damaged skin. when it was done he spoke softly standing behind him.  
"baby I need to wash these cuts with hot water and disinfect them. you think you could hold still for me?"  
Richard just nodded and stood facing the tiled wall. Chris poured hot water on the damaged skin and Richard shivered in pain.  
"Are you ok, sweetheart?" Chris hated himself for doing that.  
"Yes keep going"  
He washed the cuts as Richard hissed with pain. Chris kissed the smooth skin around the wounded area. When he was done, he stood up and kissed the small of Richard's back and went to take the gauze and betadine from under the bathroom sink and disinfected the wounds and when it was done he wrapped a towel around Richard's shoulders to avoid the cuts.  
"Baby I'll be with you in five minutes, let me just wash myself."

"n-no I'm fine standing here" He didn't look at Chris when he spoke. He leaned against the wall near the sink. He was terrified of being alone but also didn't wanna say it. After what happened to him last night, Chris was sure Richard wouldn't be able to function his surroundings by him self for a long time, he was too sensitive and that incident hit him pretty badly. Chris understood that, he was determined to do anything in his power to help his beloved heal.  
He smiled "ok then,,, more beauty for me to watch"  Richard blushed at that but stayed quiet.  
Chris didn't take more than five minutes and after they were out he changed the sheets on the bed which were covered in blood and semen.  
He helped Richard to lie down on his stomach until the antiseptic on his ass dries. Chris laid himself on his side close to Richard and slowly nuzzled to his smooth skin.

"Are you hungry?" the drummer whispered.

"yes but I don't wanna eat"

"why not?"

"cuz it means that you'll leave the bedroom and I'll be alone"  
Chris smiled and didn't say anything else, he approached his lover and kissed his shoulder and forehead then locked eyes with him again.  
"Kiss me on my mouth" Richard pleaded desperately. Chris complied and started kissing him but this time it turned passionate and full of teeth, Chris bit his bottom lip and sucked on it, hard. Richard moaned in his mouth and slowly turned on his side so his erected member was obvious to Chris. The dominant started licking and sucking at his neck while running his hand on Richard's chest and stomach. Richard reached with his hand and took Chris's length in his grip, Chris moaned and pushed Richard on his back and made him let go of the cock. Then the drummer pulled himself back and made some distance between them. Richard looked at him and waited to see what his master had in mind for him.  
"I want you to touch yourself" Chris commanded authoritatively.  
"m-me?" Richard's eyes were now wide.  
"yes, I wanna watch you as you pleasure yourself"  
"n-no please,,, it has to be you" He pleaded.  
"You put the wet image of you jerking off in my head yesterday, little lady. It's on you, Princess. Go on, you can concentrate on me"  
Again with the female nicknames, the smaller man didn't even know why he'd get so turned on by them. He looked at Chris for a moment then decided to comply. He took his own member in one hand and started moving it up and down the stiffed length. He moaned and turned his head to stare into Chris's eyes, he was just laying there, motionless running his hungry eyes up and down Richard's body with passion.  
Richard felt so hot and wanton, it was amazing. He picked up his pace as he threw his head back and arched his back while rubbing his other hand on his chest and stomach.  
"So beautiful,,, I wanna lick your hard little nipples" Chris's words made him moan. Richard started massaging his own nipples between his fingers.  
"you're the most stunning thing I've ever seen in my life,,, that's it baby,,, touch your gorgeous body,,,"  
Richard whimpered loudly at his words "Chris,,, oh god,,, Chris please"  he screamed while jerking himself hard and fast.  
"I'm here pretty," Richard shut his eyes and spread his legs. "God,,, you're too exquisite to be real... you're just lovely lying there aprawled out, moaning with your pretty eyes closed" 

Richard was on the verge of insanity, he'd never felt like this before, he would give his life at that moment for Chris's touch.  
He was so tangled in his own mess of lust and moaning that he didn't feel Chris moving. The drummer crawled between the submissive's spread out legs and Richard opened his eyes. "Chris,,, Chris,,, please"  he begged as he moved his hand faster.  
"you're so good baby, that's it, keep going,,, I wanna drink you"  
When he was sure that Richard was almost near his climax, he swatted Richard's hand and replaced it with his own mouth.  
"fuck,,, fuck,,, Master,, please" He screamed as Chris was sucking him off. The younger man clutched his own hair one second and Chris's shoulders the next, he arched his back and forced his cock deep into Chris's throat. He curled his toes as he climaxed down his dominant's throat and looked down at him swallowing all his load, he thought he was gonna die from the intense pleasure.  
Chris crawled up and held the smaller man in his arms, he was laying half on top of the drummer. Richard couldn't talk, he was still shaking. "you're fuckin delicious, baby, did you know that?"  He licked his lips and looked at Richard, his eyes half lided, cheeks flushed and hair completely messy. "I'm fuckin dead"  His voice was hoarse. Chris chuckled and kissed him.  
"Someone needs some attention" Richard said playfully looking hungrily at Chris's erection.  
"no baby I'm fine, just lie with me" Chris breathed out with his eyes closed.  
"but you're hard" Richard whined prettily.  
"gives you something to look at" he mused.  
Richard was gonna disagree again when the couple heard someone knocking at their apartment's door. The smaller man jumped with fear and looked at Chris with terror in his eyes. Chris sat up "hey it's OK honey, let me go see who it is"

"no no, le-let's not open the door" He was pale and freaked out.

The visitor knocked again. "we know you're in there assholes, open the goddamn door"  
Chris rolled his eyes at Paul's voice and flopped back down on the bed.

They were in real trouble now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Same Sex marriage was just announced legal in Germany and I'm moving there on October. I personally don't like marriage but it's nice to know that I'd have the same rights as straight people when I live there. So....congratulations y'all.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So before you start reading let me warn you about the smut. Don't say I didn't warn ya :D  
> Also, I'm still trying to figure out how to finish the story, that's why this chapter contains a flashback,,, here you go.  
> And this chapter is too long, I know. I've been writing it for 4 days. :D

"Fuck" Richard groaned.  
"I know,,, get up and wear something Reesh, come on, baby" Chris ordered as he was wearing a t-shirt.  
"what am I gonna wear? I'm covered with fuckin hickies" Richard stood up and searched in their shared closet with frustration.  
"You're always covered with fuckin hickies, they're used to it" Chris smirked.  
They knocked again. "Open up now or we're gonna break your door" it was Till this time.  
"I'm coming God damn it, Jesus fuck" Chris yelled as he was walking towards the door.  
Richard exited their bedroom after he put some clothes on.  
"You two,,, are so dead" Paul announced as he entered the living room.  
"So the full army, huh?" Chris sneered as he pointed at the four of them.  
"What are you two? Horny teenagers?" Flake said slyly, noticing Richard's neck.  
"fuck you flake,,, what do you guys want?" Chris huffed as he flopped down on the sofa lighting up a cigarette, Richard stood behind him. He couldn't sit down, his ass was hurting with the fabric of his pants rubbing on his wounds as it was. Sitting would definitely kill him. Ollie went straight to their kitchen to get some beer.  
"Seriously? you two left last night without a word and you wouldn't answer your phones. everyone was looking for you and we didn't know what to tell them" Paul scolded them.  
Chris fell silent for a moment then he raised his arms and handed the cigarette to Richard who needed it. with the shit that went down last night, he didn't even think about telling them they were leaving. He was sure that Richard didn't want their friends to know about what happened so he made up a lie "I found Richard outside and he was sick, so we left and I forgot to tell you guys, it was my fault I'm sorry" He sounded sincere.  
"so you being sick, that's what caused the hickies?" Paul said sarcastically and looked at Richard. The younger man couldn't deal with them at that moment and he felt like his voice was stuck in his throat. He just stared back with his head covered with smoke and an unreasonable anger at Paul. Chris could sense Richard's helplessness so he spoke again. "Paul get off his back, he's not feeling well" Chris rubbed on his eyes annoyed.  
"Reesh what's wrong? you do seem sickly pale" Ollie asked softly. He would never scold at Richard like the others. The two were very close.  
Richard couldn't even bring himself to answer Ollie. He just wanted all of them gone, he just needed to be alone with Christoph. The guitarist felt his unwelcomed tears pricking his eyes as he exhaled the smoke and handed it back to Chris and without a word he turned around and went back to their bedroom and shut the door behind him.  
"what the fuck?" Paul wondered.  
Chris sighed and took his head in his hands.  
"what did you do to him Schneider? Why is he like that?" Till taxed him.  
Their singer had a very special relationship with Richard, he loved him like a little brother and when he found out that Richard and Chris had started dating, his first sentence to the drummer was "if you cause him any discomfort or break his heart, so help me God Schneider, I'll break your neck."

"I didn't do anything, Till. Listen you guys, I'm really sorry OK? I am. I should've told you, but he had too much to drink and got really sick so I lost it and didn't even think about much else.,,,, Can you please get off my ass now?" He sighed and added the last sentence with frustration.  
"Guys he's right, we should take it easy on them, we probably shouldn't have barged in your apartment like this" Ollie tried to reason with them. The drummer glanced thankfully at his friend.  
"ok,,, fine. sorry but we got real worried. don't pull that shit again." Paul said softly.  
"thank you paulchen. Won't happen again" Chris mustered a smile.  
When they agreed to let it go and leave, Till came to Chris and grabbed his shoulder and looked him in the eye "I don't buy one word you just said Schneider, you're my friend and I trust you with him, I do. But don't bullshit me. a hangover doesn't make him look like that. He looked like someone drew a fuckin gun at him, I know my brother better than that. He's not some delicate little blossom. That ain't no hangover, he seemed really startled. Just please let me know if you two needed help"

"I will" was all Chris could manage. Till was right, Richard was tough, the fact that he hadn't broken down and ran screaming for the hills was evidence enough.

When they finally left Chris went back to their bedroom, he saw the blankets turned into a bulge on the bed and he knew Richard was under them, his pants were discarded on the floor.

"Baby?" Chris whispered softly when he sat on the bed and pushed the blanket away only to see his lover's face pale with fear and his eyes wide filled with terror.  
"It's ok sweetheart, their gone. It's alright my little love, it's just me now" he cooed lovingly as he laid down and held him tight in his arms. Richard clung to him like he'd die if he didn't.  
Non of them said anything for a good half hour, Richard was clutching in Chris's t-shirt so hard that his knuckles went numb.  
"thank you for not telling them" Richard crooned hardly above a whisper.

Chris just hummed and kissed his forehead and kept his lips there as he held him closer.

"they think it's your fault" The small man whispered again.  
"I don't care what they think baby, doesn't matter to me, shouldn't matter to you" Chris murmured against his forehead.  
"God I hate myself" he sighed.  
"hey... How can you hate my baby? He's so good and amazing and little." Chris made him look into his eyes and kissed his nose.

"hey... Reesh you know you can talk to me, right? anytime about anything. I promise I'll shut up and listen. Do you want to talk?"

"I don't want you to shut up, I want you to keep me busy and make my fuckin brain shut up so I won't have to think"

Chris studied him for a moment. He knew Richard would eventually crack down and judging by him being indenial at the moment, the drummer was sure that his burst would be traumatic and huge. He was ready for all of it, he just wanted to be there for Richard through all this shit. He wasn't alone.

"How about we go to the kitchen and I fix you something to eat, huh pretty? I can hear your stomach, you know?" he said playfully.

"ok" he said like a bratty little child and made Chris smile, the drummer scrunched his nose and imitated him with a quiet high piched tune "ok".  
Richard made the cutest protestation noise and pushed in his shoulder.  
"god you're so damn cute" Chris laughed as he kissed his cheek and helped him up. Richard went through Chris's drawer and picked one of his boxers to wear.  
"I bought a couple of new ones if you want, I even bought a red one for you and it's a real boxer this time not a women's lingerie, I promise" Chris told him.

"You haven't worn the new ones yet, I wanna wear the ones that you wore" he said absent mindedly without looking at Christoph, then he noticed the dominant was looking at him with an amused wicked grin and raised eyebrows.  
"I-I mean,,, um,,, the old ones are softer and m-my ass is hurt right now, so... " He strutted and blushed madly.  
"oh,,, you said it baby, there's no taking it back,,,you're my dirty dirty little boy" he put his arms around the blushing man's shoulders and guided him to the kitchen. Richard didn't get more than two inches away from Chris the whole time. Chris was making them pasta and while it was boiling and the sauce was in the pan, the pair leaned against the cupboard and were having a slow and silent make out session. Hands moving on bodies and clutching into hair. It was wet and so dreamy and both men were dizzy with the pleasure it caused. Suddenly Richard heard the water pouring on the stove and made a tssss like sound. He tried to slowly break the kiss but Chris kept his bottom lip between his teeth and didn't let go until Richard smiled and pulled away. "gummy bear" Chris whispered.

"hmm?"

"your lips are like gummy bear, soft and sweet and I can make'em wet and hot and suck'em all day"

Richard giggled. "Chris the pasta boiled over"

"the apartment could be set on fire right now and I still wouldn't stop kissing you" He slurred and looked half drunk with pleasure.  
Richard laughed and Chris finally agreed on parting. He put some pasta in one plate with a fork. Richard sat down as he hissed with pain.  
"you OK baby? We can have lunch in bed if you want, hm?" He said concerned and nuzzled in Richard's hair.  
"no it's fine, I'm ok"

"ok then,,, here,,, I'll feed you" He smiled.

"I can feed myself, you know?" He protested as Chris was now holding a fork full of pasta in front of him. The taller man raised his eyebrows. "disobeying much?"

Richard looked at him for a moment and decided not to pick on the challenge and with a smile opened up his mouth. Who was he kidding? He loved being spoiled and taken care of by the dominant.

Chris fed him and ate some himself. He had fun feeding Richard and occasionally licking the sauce off his lips and chin.  
"Now that was real cheesy" Richard laughed as Chris got the end of a hanging string of pasta and sucked it out of his lips.  
"ooh shit,,, I forgot to put cheese in it." Chris smacked on his own thigh and sat back in the chair.  
"You'd forget to serve it if I hadn't reminded you" Richard giggled as he laid his feet in Chris's lap and moved so he could find a comfortable position.  
"so you know it's your fault, you and your plush little lips" He was now massaging Richard's feet.  
The guitarist poked in his stomach with his toes and pouted.

"enjoying yourself beautiful?" Chris asked him sweetly while getting the tension out of Richard's feet.

"hmm... " He sighed calmly. He was smiling with his eyes closed and head leaned back on the chair as he took a deep breath. Chris took in the exquisite sight in front of him, Richard was beautiful to look at.  
"Who would have thought?" Chris sighed.

"what?" Richard asked with his eyes still closed.

"Me, crazy mad in love with you like this. watching you makes me happy but also I can't stop myself from touching you" He mused almost too low.

Richard opened his eyes and smiled at him.

"I used to think that you had an urge to kill me, god you were scary."

"I didn't want to kill you, I wanted to have you all to myself and tame you into the perfect submissive" He lifted Richard's feet and kissed his toes. "But eventually you were the one who tamed me"

"Are you saying I'm not a good submissive?" Richard pouted cutely.

"No that's not what I'm saying you crazy little shit." He laughed and shoved Richard's feet on the floor to move his chair close to him and cup his face in his hand. "Come here I wanna kiss you"

 

\-----

 

Chris always had a thing for Richard, there was no denying that. He never acted on it or said anything cuz he was to scared of the fact that he could actually hurt Richard. Physically and emotionally. Whenever they had a disagreement over something and Richard acted like his usual diva self, all Chris wanted was to bend him over and beat the shitty attitude out of him and teach him some manners. But something always told the drummer that Richard wasn't into this kind of lifestyle and boy was he glad he was wrong. For Chris it was never a lifestyle tho, it was the only way he could live or have relationships, he never understood why he was the way he was so at some point he stopped questioning it and gave in.  
It was at the beginning of their tour when Chris started noticing the change in Richard's attitude towards him. He wouldn't disagree with Chris over every single little matter anymore. He was mostly silent with occasional starings at the drummer. Chris caught him staring lots of times, at first he'd deny it but after some time he'd just smile and kept looking. One time when Chris hissed at him to stop with staring he simply said "make me" and at that moment all Chris wanted was to whip him into obedient. The drummer's eyes were filled with annoyance every time Richard would intentionally push past him or ruffle his hair or tease him in other torturous ways.

Couple weeks into the tour and they were supposed to have a photo shoot for a magazine where they were all dressed in leather customs except for Richard. The head of the makeup department took Richard in another room to get him ready. the other five were standing in front of the green curtain waiting for Richard to return.  
When he entered the room, Chris felt dizzy the second he laid eyes on him. There was a UK flag wrapped around his waist and his upper body was smutty and dirty, he had his red hair spiked up and was wearing his white contact lenses along with his eyes decorated with black eyeliner, what made the scene complete was the gag over his mouth. Chris felt all his blood rushing south leaving him with dizziness. His head got filled with very very dirty and unspeakable actions he wanted to do to Richard's delicious body and of course the little shit saw his reaction and winked at Christoph mischievously. The others only laughed at him during the whole thing but all Chris needed was an ice cold shower and some sleeping pills. He was into one of his moods again. One that Paul kindly called 'why is it illegal to kill people' mood.

"Schneider you look like you wanna murder some one, what's up with you?" Paul patted his shoulder when the shooting was over and they were in the dressing room getting out of the annoying leather customs.

"Nothing" He growled from between his teeth and gave Paul a look that made the small man to leave the conversation. Chris left for the other dressing room to be alone and after couple minutes Richard knocked and came in. Chris rolled his eyes at him. The guitarist stood in front of the mirror and picked up a makeup cleaning spray and sprayed his upper body and started to rub his body with his hands while glancing at Chris who was sitting behind him across the room. They were staring at each other through the mirror in silence with Chris's eyes occasionally running up and down the wet body. Chris couldn't bear his stupid fucking teasing anymore, he had enough of Richard on all his fours with a gagged mouth and a dirty skin for one day. There was no way he could handle all this eye-fucking with him through the goddamn mirror. He stood up and walked towards Richard in steady angry steps.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Chris shoved in Richard's bear chest and pinned him to the wall. The gag was around his neck and the stupid flag was still wrapped around his waist. He stared at Chris through his white contact lens.  
"I was trying to wipe my makeup but now I'm pinned to the wall by... you" Richard looked down momentarily and took the corner of his bottom lip between his teeth as he felt Chris's arousal pressed against him.  
"What the fuck is your game kruspe? you're getting on my nerves you fuckin tease." He growled.  
"I'm just trying to be in character for the shoot, you know? The teasing submissive." He smirked. "What's your problem, man?" he added.  
"YOU,,, are my fuckin problem. you've been doing that for months now" He shoved harder into his shoulders and added with a tune that made Richard feel dizzy with lust. "if you were mine, you'd be having too much wounds and scars all over you that you wouldn't dare tease me anymore"

"so... is there like,,, an application form to fill out or something?" the guitarist asked quietly.

"What?" Chris furrowed with confusion.

"you know? for,,, um,,, for being yours. do I need to apply for it? Send you my resume or what?" He was teasing again.

"you could never be mine" Chris smirked and loosened his grip on him.

"and why is that?"

"you don't know anything about me"

"come on, really? you mean your not so nice and sweet little sex life?"

"How the fuck do you know that?" Chris's eyes snapped.

"takes one to know one. come on Schneider I know what gets you off"

"you can't be. you're too... delicate" He sneered.

"Well I'm not,,, you know? As expert as you but I kinda... did some stuff" He trailed.

"so what? you wanna have a nice little session with me and go back to your life? Why do you even want to do this?"

"I'm just curious" the smaller man shrugged.

"Not good enough"

"what do you want me to say? That I've been lusting after you for years? That I have a stupid crush on you? cuz I do and seeing you with someone else k-"

He was shut up when Chris attacked his mouth and started kissing him roughly, biting and sucking at his lips, Richard raised his arms to wrap them around him when the drummer swatted his hands and took his wrists lifting them on the sides of the smaller man's head and shoved his tongue inside the wet hot mouth. Richard moaned in his mouth and pushed his hips forward. Chris suddenly broke the kiss and pressed their foreheads together and breathed heavily. He pulled his head back prying at Richard, the guitarist's face alone could make him cum right there: His eyes were half drunk with lust, his cheeks were blushed, his slightly parted lips were shiny and swelled and around his mouth was wet with spit. He parted his lips further and pushed his head forward to continue the kiss, Chris pulled back and squeezed the man's wrists in his grip.  
"No" the drummer whispered.

"Why not?" Richard looked terrified.

"I can't,,, I... " he trailed.

"what? You what?" Richard held his breath.

The drummer let out a deep sigh before stating "I tend to be very violent when I,,, when I have deep feelings for my partner"

"y-you have deep feelings for me?" His eyes were now shining with hope.

Chris looked into his eyes with knotted eyebrows for seconds and let go of him and without a word left the dressing room leaving his band mate leaning against the wall with his eyes wide.

They all changed into their own clothes after removing their makeups and left the magazine office after the interview to go back to their hotel. Neither Richard and Chris went to the hotel's restaurant for dinner that night. They were both in their rooms. Richard kept pacing around in his room while biting his nails. Chris's last sentence kept replying in his head. 'he has feelings for me' he felt butterflies in his stomach, it made him feel like a goddamn teenager. He was also horny and could not stop thinking about the way Chris kissed him, it was possessive and passionate and violent and fuckin hot. The younger man loved it. He had no idea what to do or how to act around the older man now. "great I should just kill myself" He sighed and tried to go to sleep. It was a terrible night for him, he kept having wet dreams about Christoph and woke up with his own mess on the bed. He felt so embarrassed he could just die. The next day was no better.

He didn't go to get breakfast but couldn't bear the hunger and boredom anymore so he left his room when it was lunch time. his band mates commented on his looks and Christoph was nowhere to be found. "You look like shit Reesh, need another coffee?" Till studied his friend.  
"sure... where's Schneider?" He tried to sound casual.

"Right here"  
Of course he was behind Richard, the guitarist kicked his own ass mentally for not being able to shut the fuck up. The man took his sit across the table from Richard and didn't even look at him. Richard could easily punch him in the face at that moment. The guitarist noticed him and saw that he was no better, he looked like he had a shitty night as well. Richard noted with satisfaction.  
"so we don't have a show tonight, what are you guys planning?" Paul asked them.

"I'm gonna sleep all day" Flake said.

"Me too, I really wanna finish the book Reesh gave me tho, it's awesome" Ollie announced.

"I saw a strip club down the block, heard it's awesome, there's this stripper, apparently she can bend her body backwards. I'll probably visit there tonight, should be interesting" Richard grinned. He glanced at Schneider to catch his reaction, he was staring at his plate looking like he was about to choke on his food.  
"finally I heard something nice" Paul grinned back at him. "Till? Schneider? you two commin?"

"Yeah maybe" Till shrugged.

"I've got better things to do" Was all Chris said.  
"of course your grumpy majesty" Paul gestured like he was bowing. Schneider gave him one of his famous nasty looks.  
After they were done with lunch, Richard was the first who left the table for his room. He was walking towards the lobby when he heard someone "Wait" he turned around to see their drummer.

"Do not go to the strip club tonight" His tune was authoritative.

"And why shouldn't I go?" Richard raised an eyebrow at him.

"I'm telling you not to" He looked irritated. Chris was always on edge, he always had this unexplainable anger towards everyone and in all those years there were times that his anger would be pointed at Richard for no apparent reason.

"You don't get to tell me what to do, you don't fuckin own me Schneider. You made that perfectly clear." Richard said with an angry low voice.  
The look that Chris gave him, scared the shit out of him. He had this rage in his eyes that made him look even hotter but in a really scary way. "Follow me" He whispered from between his teeth. Richard followed him to his room and when they got there the drummer shut the door and locked it. "Sit" He hissed and motioned towards the bed. Richard felt his heart in his throat.

"you want to be mine?" He asked with the same tune. Richard's mouth was dry and he was bewildered with so many mixed feelings.  
"Answer me" He yelled.

"D-Do you want me to be yours?"

"I. Said. Answer. My. Fuckin. Question." Richard thought Chris's heart could stop at any moment for being so vexed.

"I-I do if... y-you do"

"when you're mine, rule number one is that I beat the living day light out of you if you disobey me, you do something I don't like you're neck deep in shit trouble, is that clear?"

"y-yes but can you please stop being like this to me?" Richard whispered quietly looking at the floor while twitching his fingers. He heard Chris's deep sigh as the drummer approached him and sat next to him on the bed. He gripped Richard's arm and pulled him close "c'mere" Richard suddenly slipped down on the floor and blushed madly when Chris laughed at him. "It's ok doll, come on sit between my legs." Richard complied as he blushed deeper at the name-calling.  
"I don't think I've ever seen you so embarrassed, it's adorable. I should make you blush more often" His tune was completely different than just a minute ago and made the other man much more at ease.

Richard snorted before saying "you should've seen me last night after I had those stupid dre---" He stopped babbling and cursed himself mentally again. 'shut your fuckin mouth kruspe, he can't know that'

"what dreams?" Chris was very amused.

"nothing, I didn't say dreams" His answer came back to quickly to be believable.

"having wet dreams now, are we?" his amusement while he was nuzzling to Richard's hair made him even more embarrassed. "did you cum in thoese dreams?"

"please stop it, this is too embarrassing" The man on the floor pleaded.

Chris took Richard's jaw in his hand and made him look up, he tilted his head down and kissed the other man. Slow and wet. "You have nothing to be embarrassed about, you think I haven't had wet dreams about you?"

"What were you doing to me in your dreams?" Richard swallowed.

"here in Rammstein we tend to make our dreams into reality, so I think you're about to find out" He mused with a wicked grin. "but before that, we gotta do something about the blushing" he stood up and walked towards the mini fridge of his room and got a bottle of tequila. Richard followed him and stood idoly in front of him. He picked up two shots and filled them with the drink, handing one to Richard.  
They were on their fourth shot when Chris downed his own drink and took Richard's glass off his hand "oh gimme that" He drank it and kept it in his mouth then took Richard by the collar of his t-shirt pinning him to the wall and pouring the drink into his mouth. as soon as Richard swallowed they started kissing madly, like they'd die if they didn't.

"Feeling better, baby?" He said with his lips against the guitarist's.

"call me that again" Richard whispered smiling.

"aww you do feel better, but the thing my pretty little one is that in here, you don't get to tell me what to do. You take what I give you and you appreciate it like the good little pet I know you're gonna be, hmm?"

"Yes Master" He was still smiling.

"See baby? I knew tequila would make you lossen up a bit" he was satisfied. "now... tell me Richard. Have you ever had anal sex?"

"are you gonna stop... this, if I say I've never been a bottom before?"

"no, I won't. Who doesn't want a pretty little maiden like you?" He brushed his lips over Richard's jaw and cheeks.

"Maiden" Richard giggled.

"come on now... let me see you strip" Chris licked his lips and sat back on the bed.

Richard glanced at him and started slowly taking his clothes of. He turned around face away from Chris and unzipped his jeans and pulled them down in the most teasing way possible, then he bent over and stepped out of them and turned back around only to catch Chris basically eating him up with his eyes. "Going commando, huh? Nice" He added "I love having my own little stripper" He stood up and gestured with his finger for Richard to come closer "lie down on your back" When Richard was about to lie down, the dominant landed a hard spank on his ass which caused him to shudder and gasp.  
Richard watched Chris as he went through his suit case looking for some stuff and came back on the bed once he'd retrieved them. He dumped the stuff on the bed and Richard's eyes snapped as he looked at the items: A pair of leather handcuffs, a bottle of lube and... anal beads. huge black anal beads.

Chris straddled the plaint naked body "Arms up" He cuffed Richard to the bed pipes and pulled on them to check them. He caught Richard staring at him "I've always pictured you like this in my head, that was hot but the real thing... You lying under me, cuffed to my bed,,,it's magnificent" he took in the sight in front of him before speaking again.

"Now tell me, what was I doing to you in your dreams?"

"you... um... y-you were licking me... all over me,,, till I came"

"you came with me only licking you?" He was amused and surprised. "I'd love to lick all over this beautiful body of yours but if you cum before I say you can cum, baby I'm afraid you'll be punished. OK?"

"Use your words, Richard" He said firmly when the man under him nodded.

"yes master"  
Chris smiled and bent over licking and biting his neck harshly leaving marks and made the small man wail. Richard moaned when Chris bit at his throat. He continued his way down on Richard's chest "Do you have any idea that for how long I've been wanting to suck your nipples and make them hard in my mouth?" Richard moaned as the taller man's lips were wrapped around his nipples sucking one and rubbing the other between his fingers. He bit at his chest more than once and made Richard gasp in pain. The drummer kept biting and licking every inch of skin. He swirled his tongue inside Richard's navel causing him to shudder and moan loudly in pleasure "oh shit.." he spread his legs which made Chris smile in amusement "baby you've got talent for this, we should use it right"

Chris picked up the bottle of lube and undid the cap, coating his finger with it. He slowly entered the finger inside Richard while rubbing his chest. Richard whimpered loudly and threw his head back and spread his legs further apart.  
"you're doing great baby,,, how does it feel?"

"good... strange" He moaned.

Chris picked the beads up from the bed and brushed them on Richard's parted lips. "Wet them for me, baby" Richard stuck his tongue out and licked and sucked on the beads while moaning beautifully with a muffled voice. Chris slowly extracted his now two fingers out of the submissive's ass and the beads out of his mouth. He applied some lube on the beads and slowly shoved them inside Richard and watched his eyes roll back in pleasure. "see? It's better now, are you comfortable?"

"uh... hummm" He hummed between moans as Chris picked up the pace and shoved the beads deeper. When it hit his prostate for the first time he gasped loudly and pulled on the tight cuffs and arched his back as he felt he could explode with sheer pleasure. "you like that huh little slut? that was your prostate I hit."  
" please master,,, do that again,, p-please"  
The dominant shoved the beads deep again and again as Richard was now screaming. Chris took Richard's hard member in his hand and stroaked him slowly. "your cock is so pretty, I like jerking you off" Richard panted loudly which turned into a beautiful high keen. "please please... oh fuck..."

"you want to cum so bad don't you?"

"please let me cum, I ca-can't hold any longer. please master" He begged and wailed like a little slut.

Chris picked up the pace of both his hands working Richard "cum for me, come on you can cum" with another keen, Richard came harder than he ever had. Chris got most of it in his hand and left the beads inside Richard's ass as he towered over the panting mess under him.  
"you wanna taste yourself baby? Looks delicious." He kept his hand near Richard's face as the submissive nodded.

"say it"

"I wanna taste myself" He panted and stuck his tongue out when he finally earned permission and started licking Chris's palm and fingers, leaving some of it on his face.  He tasted surprisingly good and it was so fuckin hot. "sorry baby I can't let you have all of it" He bent and started licking the cum off Richard's tongue, chin, mouth and cheeks after his hand was licked clean. He stared into Richard's eyes. "why are you so goddamn fuckin beautiful?" He hissed from between his teeth and attacked his mouth. Richard could feel Chris's hard hard member through the material of his pants against his own. He moaned into the toothy kiss and pushed his hips up.  
"baby you already got something up your ass and you want more?" Chris slurred. "I do, please" Richard whimpered.  
"you're so fuckin needy" There was a sharp smile in his voice. Richard moaned with protest as Chris pulled the anal beads out of him. "Aww my needy little slut, don't worry. you're about to be rewarded for being so good and sweet for me" Chris was still fully clothed which made Richard feel a lot more exposed.  
The drummer took the hem of his t-shirt to take it of and his head got stuck into its tight collar, he pulled it out with pressure. "fuck" he hissed.  
Richard giggled at his cussing. "Do you find me funny, young man?" He had a hint of a smile on his lips. Richard nodded as he giggled again. "your giggles are so cute, I can't really punish you for laughing at me while making those little noises"  
Richard scrunched his nose at him. "ok stop being so edible and flip over before I have to eat you up" he ordered and Richard complied. It was a difficult task with his hands cuffed. Chris squeezed his ass cheeks in his hands and rubbed them which caused a beautiful moan out of Richard. He spanked him hard before saying "on your knees" and moved off the submissive to remove his pants. He positioned himself behind Richard and smacked his ass again. Richard moaned and pushed his ass up and spread his knees.  
"baby are you ready for the main course?"

Richard shuddered as he received another smack. Chris coated himself with a lot of the lube. "Baby I'm gonna need you to relax ok? Focus on me and try to loosen all your muscles,,, I'll take care of you" He slowly started entering him as Richard panted loudly. "oh m-my... ffuck"  
Chris pushed further "Fuck... you're so tight, you feel so fuckin good" Chris panted as he pushed more of himself inside the wet tight heaven. When he was fully in Richard was a wailing mess. "please move" Was all he could manage. Chris complied and started thrusting inside him slowly, he mustered all his energy not to senselessly fuck the shit out of Richard, he kept reminding himself of how much he cared for the younger man, how much he wanted him for years but it was making him worse, he felt more animalistic when he was emotional. He had this urge to make Richard scream, to bite at his skin till he bleeds between the drummer's teeth, to beat him until his beautiful porcelain skin was black and blue. He gathered all his will to stop his movement for a moment and get himself under control. Richard who had no idea about what was going on in Chris's twisted mind shuddered "W-why did you stop? did I do something wrong?"  
Chris wanted to die at his small and pleading voice. "oh no pretty, you're amazing, it's ok, I've got you" He started thrusting again. It was a slow torture. Richard moaned sweetly when Chris hit his sensitive spot over and over again. He grazed Richard's back with his hands and yanked on his hair as he lost himself again and was now thrusting madly. He felt the build in his insides and was ready to release any second now but he wanted Richard to cum first, it wasn't gonna be difficult to make happen since the submissive was already clenching around him and begging for permission. He suddenly pulled out which made Richard scream in need and protest, he flipped the man on his back and shoved himself back inside as he stared into his eyes. Richard threw his head back and lifted his waist up. "I want to look at your face as I cum inside you, look at me Richard" They stared into each other's eyes and Chris saw the precum Richard made. "you can let go baby, it's ok. You're allowed to" one last hard thrust and they both came together. Richard felt the thick hot fluid filling him pleasantly as he came between them completely untouched. Chris didn't want to pull out, he wanted to stay inside the warm body and keep claiming Richard but sadly he couldn't support himself anymore and much to the younger man's discontent he slowly pulled out and picked his boxers to clean them both up before he uncuff Richard and collect him in his arms.

"So am I hired?" Richard whispered with his head buried in Chris's neck.

"Baby you just got promoted" He kissed the sweaty temple and felt the pleasant saltiness on his tongue. "My sweet little bunny, you are now"

"bunny? really?" He giggled.

"you've got a problem with that?" The drummer dared him.

"No sir" Richard giggled again and kissed Chris's throat then looked up at him. He had that stupid cute dorky smile on his face that made Chris laugh. "Thank you" He said shyly.

"For what?"

"For everything you just gave me, you said I should appreciate all of it and I do, really"

"Are you sweet talking me, little pet?"

"What if I am?" He said playfully and laid half on top of Chris. His weight on Christoph was comforting and reassuring. He only smiled in response and held him tighter and closer.

"Chris?"

"Hmm?"

"You think... ehhmm, do you think that maybe you could,,, could love me?" He strutted. Chris looked down at him, he looked like a child begging his mother for a toy. Chris wasn't able to deny Richard anything even his heart, especially his heart. "Are you asking me to love you?"  
Richard looked up at him, eyes filled with need. The need to be loved, he's been through a lot and Chris knew that.  
"I understand if you don't" Was all the guitarist managed with hopeless eyes.  
"Richard you don't need to ask for that. I've been loving you for years and now that this happened I can safely say that I'm falling madly in love with you."  
Richard curled closer to him and without a word buried his face in Chris's chest. Chris smiled fondly and kissed his head again. It was better than Chris had ever imagined it would be. He felt happy, real happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh and I'm really surprised by the amount of dirt in my head.


	6. Chapter 6

'Here I was, facing against a cement wall with them splashing ice cold water on my wounded body. The physical pain didn't even matter anymore, if anything, it was a way of dealing with the fucked up shit in my head... Ollie and Till... Oh god they don't know where I am, no one knows where I am. Hell...I don't know where I am or what day it is. Please I just wanna go home... I plead in my head. I hear the bars sliding over and then there are sharp heavy steps...no no no... It's him again, no please don't hurt me anymore. I didn't do anything... Please please... I can't take the pain anymore. When I was a kid I used to think that my Bastard of a step father was the worst tormentor in the world but then he came along...broke me in thousands of pieces... I felt him close to me. He gripped my hair...no please don't touch me... I wasn't gonna give him the satisfaction and let him watch me cry and beg. He pulled my head back by my hair, I held my breath so I wouldn't scream in stinging pain. He made me look at him... The face of the devil... no please don't make me look at you. You're horrifying... You're disgusting... You're not a human being, you're a thing. A soulless thing. I finally gave in and laid my eyes on him. I screamed in terror...he was staring at me through blood red eyes. The scars on his face were raw and fresh. Like he himself had a personal tormentor. Someone who kept him on his toes. His mouth stretched and he showed me his rotten teeth. When a monster smiles at you like you're his prey, you run,,, you run for your life. I just screamed... I couldn't bare to look at him anymore,,, Then a soft voice in my head said my name,,, again... I needed to hear that voice... It was trying to save me. I knew who it belong to,,, please say my name again... I was forced to focus on the voice and rip myself out of the cemented room... I didn't know where I was... Feeling of falling into a pit, deeper and deeper...and I couldn't stop screaming'

"Richard..."

Richard was startled out of sleep, screaming. His skin was wet with sweat. For a second he'd lost track of everything until he heard the angelic voice again. 

"Baby,,, it's ok,,, shhhh,,, It's me, it's Chris... look at me, hey.. "

He  looked up at Chris. He was staring back at him through worried to death eyes. The second Richard registered his surroundings, his screams turned into sobs. He shoved his head in Chris's chest... Sobbing loudly for the first time since the incident. Chris held him tight and stayed quiet so his lover can unload himself. He himself wanted to cry so bad, but he needed to be Richard's stone at the moment. The younger man sobbed for minutes and then he was just softly weeping. Chris's heart clenched at the sound. His chest was wet with tears. 

"I've got you baby... get it out... We'll stay like this as long as you need to,,, I'm here for you my love"

"Chris... " He slowly sobbed the name. 

"I'm right here baby,,, anything you need" He soothed him with a low and loving voice. 

"Bathroom" Richard mumbled after about five minutes. Chris helped him up and took him to the bathroom. He turned on the night light so it wouldn't hurt their eyes. Richard stood by the sink and splashed cold water in his face. Chris didn't get his hands off the younger man the whole time. He fondled to his back only to feel his skin burning. He stood up and stared at his reflection in the mirror. Tears pricked his eyes again, he wanted to tear his reflection apart with his teeth. He felt like he didn't want to be himself anymore. He looked up at Chris through the mirror as the drummer sneaked his hands  around him and kissed his shoulder.   
Richard shut his eyes tight, tears rolled on his face and his lips were trembling. 

"Baby I'm here,,," Chris whispered.   
Richard opened his eyes and looked at himself again, then at Chris.   
"I wish it'd stop,,, I wish I could stop being like this,,, I feel weak,,, " He sighed.

"You are not weak Richard. You've been through so much. It's gonna take time but I promise you sweetheart, it will be alright. I'm with you, I'll stay with you through all of it. Let me take care of you, my love"  He whispered peering at Richard.   
He turned around in Chris's arms and pushed in his chest until he was pinned to the wall. There was something feral and soft in his eyes at the same time.   
"Take me" He whispered and hid his face in the dominant's neck.   
"Own me,,, touch me until I don't feel myself anymore,,, fill me until it's all you, I can't handle being me anymore,,, " He nuzzled into Chris's neck, "I wish I could crawl under your skin and hide in there... Chris I want to give into you..." He let go of Chris and sank on his knees  "Please take my control away,,, I don't want it. It's all yours... I'm all yours,,, Please master... Claim my soul, it's yours"  

Chris was stunned at his words. He knew he could never get enough of this beautiful sweet man kneeling in front of him begging him to become one with him. He knew it was impossible for anyone in the whole universe to feel about another person, the way he felt for Richard. He was insatiable when it came to Richard, of his love, his scent, his face, his laughs, his body and his beautiful mind. There was nothing he wouldn't do for him, nothing.   
He took Richard by his arms and helped him up and gazed at him for a moment. His bright eyes reflected pure need and weakness. Chris lead him back to the bedroom and laid him on the bed. He went through the night stand and picked some stuff up. He stretched Richard's arms above his head and cuffed them, then he spreads the submissive's legs and bound them too.

"You won't talk. You won't move. You won't make a single sound. I won't gag you, I want you to be silent because you're not allowed to speak not because you're not able to. I won't blind fold you because I want you to see my every move while I take care of you. You are only allowed to see me and hear me and feel me."

Richard only looked at him, didn't move or talk. Chris bent and started licking his lips and sucking on them, Richard didn't respond just like he was told to. Chris whispered in his ear "Open your mouth" He did as he was told. Chris shoved his tongue in his mouth and licked inside it. Then he looked in his eyes again "I'm going to mark your body with my teeth, so when you look in the mirror, you'll know who owns you." He bit harshly at Richard's neck and throat. He only hissed quietly in pain. He bit at the small man's jaw and continued his way down to his chest. He bit at his nipples and licked and sucked around them. Every bite was followed with Chris sucking on it, so the bruise would look darker and harsher. When his chest was covered in bruises, Chris reached out for the night stand again, this time he had a butterfly knife in his hand. Richard saw the knife in his hand but the look on his face only turned more feral and desperate with need. He took a deep breath and made a shallow cut over his own palm. He scrunched his face but didn't react further. Then he made an identical cut on Richard's left chest. The man hissed from between his teeth. Both cuts were now bleeding. Chris put his bloody palm on Richard's cut and rubbed. Then he bent again and licked their mixed blood off the cut on his chest. Richard shuddered when Chris tilted his head up and peered him again, around his lips and jaw was wet and red with blood, then Chris spoke against Richard's lips "This is the essence of our existence, my love. Taste us from my lips" This time Richard responded madly to the bloody kiss. He opened up his lips and let Chris pour the hot salty and metalic liquid down his throat. Chris bit at Richard's bottom lip and broke the kiss. The man under him still had his wet with blood and spit lips open. It was animalistic. It was inhumane and they both needed it. He went down on the submissive body again straddling him. Both their cocks so hard, it was almost painful. Chris rubbed his own member on Richard's and took them in his bloody palm. He used their still bleeding cuts to get his cock lubricated. Then he held his hand over Richard's mouth "Lick" He stuck his tongue out and licked the dirty palm with voracity. 

 

"I'm not going to prep you Richard. You need to feel the pain. Feel me as I crawl inside you and fill you. Feel me loving you so much that I'm ready to bleed for you, to sacrifice everything for your beautiful eyes alone" Chris took his member in hand and pushed himself wholey inside in one move. Richard threw his head back as he screamed in pain. He was completely motionless inside him when he spoke again "I was gonna put cock rings on you, but then I decided to control your orgasm, myself. You will be quiet and take what I'm giving you. You move, I'll pull out" 

Chris started slowly moving. It was tormenting. But he knew that was what Richard needed. He'd reached the point of not caring about himself. It was all Richard. The source of his love, lust, peace, happiness and anger. All of it was Richard. All of him belonged to Richard and Richard to him. 

"You're beautiful,,, you're mine Richard. Do you feel it? You're mine my sweet sweet boy. You're the key to my heart" 

His thrusts were deep and slow and with each more, the couple were most likely to explode in sheer need. 

"Your pure soul is my God and your body is my temple. I want to seal myself inside of you, I will guard you and protect you from everything" 

He picked up the pace and Richard was now shivering and panting loudly at his words and actions. 

"I worship you at you're feet, you're everything I want to own in this universe" 

He took Richard's cock in his bleeding hand and started jerking him off. 

"Don't cum before me, baby" 

At those words, Richard held back his orgasm, he had no control, it was all Chris. It was so intense. He was feeling Chris with every cell in his submissive body. He was feeling him inside his core. The sweet sense of leaving all control to Chris was the only thing he needed. Not having an iota of will power. He didn't want his own thoughts, he wanted the man above him to guide him through everything like he was a helpless little child. They stared into each other's eyes. They both could easily fathom the other one's feelings. Chris didn't need to announce his orgasm, Richard knew he was close. Richard begged him with his eyes for more and the drummer complied. He filled up the guitarist with a loud groan as their eyes were locked and Chris had Richard's hair in his grip. He started jerking Richard off again. "Your cock is so beautiful, did you know that baby?" Richard moaned and clenched around Chris inside him. "Leave yourself to me my little one, I've got you. Let go baby, that's alright my bunny, you can cum."   
Richard tensed up as he threw his back and came hard and heavy. "That's it bunny, give me all you got, don't hold back." Richard moaned high and keen as he let all of himself go between their bodies. When he was finished, Chris licked the cum mixed with blood off his hand and started slowly kissing Richard. The taste of blood and cum and Chris mixed together gave Richard a mental orgasm. Chris stayed inside him in silence for about fifteen minutes. "Baby I have to pull out to clean us and unrestrain you"   
Richard only nodded and whined loud in protest when Chris pulled out. After they were both semi clean and Richard was rid of the cuffs, Chris pulled him in his arms, the guitarist curled to him as close as physically possible. 

"Talk to me, please" Richard whispered. 

"What do you wanna hear baby?" 

"Your voice."

Chris kissed his head and held him tighter and started singing one of their songs to him. The one Richard loved. 

"Wilder Wein - vor diesem Dunkel  
Wilder Wein - von Licht geheilt  
es bleibt verborgen - sonst könnten wir uns wehren  
ich warte auf dich - am Ende der Nacht  
Wilder Wein - nur eine Traube  
Wilder Wein - und bitter wie Schnee  
Ich warte auf dich - am Ende der Nacht... You're my light Richard...I love you my beautiful sunny boy. I love your pure heart. I'd do everything to help you heal." 

Richard was silently weeping in his chest. He didn't speak. Non of them did. They listened to each other's heart beats until they fell asleep. 

 

Chris opened his eyes and groaned with the bright day light hurting his eyes. The bed was empty, Chris felt something clenched in his stomach. That was unusual, Richard would never get out of bed before him. The drummer crawled out of bed "Reesh? Baby?" nothing. He wandered into the kitchen. Nothing. He looked at the door, Richard's keys were in the key bowl. "Richard?" He sounded in distress. He went back to their bedroom and suddenly something on the nightstand caught his eye. There was a piece of paper under the cuffs from last night. Chris didn't have a good feeling about it at all. He picked it up and recognized Richard's nice hand writing. 

"Christoph my dearest Love, 

I know this is probably the shittiest way of dealing with problems but right now this is all I got. I've been thinking.   
Oh my God this is so damn difficult but I had to leave. I had to leave because I love you so very fucking much, my Man, my master, my king, my best friend. You're my everything Chris. Every breath I take from now on is going to remind me of you, is going to be a sharp blade through my intestines. You told me I was the air you breathed, I'm poison Christoph. I would make you sick with my poison eventually. I'm bad for you even though I'm nothing without you. I'm too fucked up to function right now and honestly? I'm not sure if I can function without you but truth is that I don't deserve you Chris. I'm damaged goods, I'm nothing. We were supposed to make each other happy, but you're the one who always makes me happy and all I do is to bring chaos into your life. I was supposed to be alone and lick my own fucking wounds, but you did that for me, literally. I don't deserve that amount of sacrifice and you deserve way better than me, you deserve peace. After last night I know that my heart and soul will always belong to you. I raised hell in your life and you deserve way better than that.   
I'm leaving the country so we don't even cross paths for a long time. I'm not quitting the band even though I know that I don't even deserve to be in that band but I owe it to our friends and you, and I'll stand by it. I just need time.   
I love you with every fiber of my being, Christoph Schneider. Please forgive me for everything. 

Always your sunny boy,   
Richard"

Chris fell on his knees. He read the letter twenty more times to try and find something in it which can tell him that it's all a stupid stupid joke that Richard played. Boy was the little slut gonna be punished when he comes back home and tell Chris it was a joke. But something unsettling inside Chris told him that it wasn't a joke. He stood up on his weak knees and opened their closet. Most of Richard's clothes and stuff were gone. He even took some of Chris's clothes with him. Chris checked the apartment inch by inch. His guitars, his gear, laptop... All gone. Every fuckin thing was gone. Every trace of Richard was wiped away. Chris picked up his drum snare and hurled it across the room, he did the same with every piece of his drum set while screaming. When it was over he stood idoly in the middle of the mess he made.   
"no no no this isn't happening, he didn't leave me... he knows he's not allowed to leave me" He whispered to himself.   
"He didn't fuckin leave me" He screamed and punched through the wall and winced and screamed louder with the pain it caused.   
He went back to their room again and put the first pants and t-shirt he saw, picked up his keys and left the apartment.


	7. Chapter 7

Chris got into his car and started driving crazily, he wasn't even sure were he wanted to go. He was terrified, terrified of losing Richard forever. He had difficulty with breathing, it was as if the whole world was clenching around his lungs. His mouth was dry and his brain was leaking with adrenaline as he felt dizzy. Nothing could possibly make him feel better except for Richard. Richard had this strange power over him, he could make the drummer feel better about everything whenever he was feeling shitty about something. Richard only had to look at him with that deep sense of longing in his beautiful eyes and that would be it, the drummer would see the whole world sunny and sweet just like his lover.

Chris remembered two weeks ago exactly at this hour in the morning when he opened the door to their apartment with a bunch of grocery bags in his hands. He saw Richard pacing in the middle of the living room, he was wrapped in Chris's boxers and loose-fitting tank top. He looked like home like that, so domestic and comfortable. He made Chris feel overly possessive when he wore the drummer's clothes. The clothes would smell of Richard and Richard of Chris. The dominant loved not knowing where his lover ended and he, himself, started.  
He loved playing house with him. Taking care of him like he was a small child. Chris wouldn't even let Richard dress himself sometimes when he wanted to go out. It had to be the drummer, he'd pick clothes for him and dress him like he was the most precious doll in the world.

"You're home" He cheered loudly and almost ran to Chris and kissed his cheeks. "Let me put these in the kitchen, baby" The drummer walked towards the kitchen with Richard behind him like a baby duck following his mother. Chris laughed at him while he put the plastic bags on the kitchen table and had his head tilted down by Richard's arms wrapped around his neck. The younger man kissed his cheeks again. "I woke up and you weren't there" He turned the corners of his bottom lip down.

"Baby I left you a note on the night stand" The drummer held on to Richard's hips.  
"I don't care, I woke up and you weren't there" More pouting.

"Ok I'm sorry Princess, you were so cutely asleep and I woke up to make you breakfast in bed but we had zero groceries so I had to go out" He fondled his cheeks and jaw with his thumb.

"Don't leave me alone like that again, besides now you owe me an hour of cuddling" he put his head on Chris's shoulder and clutched into the fabric at the back of his shirt.

"I will definitely pay you back for that, gorgeous. It won't happen again" He smiled and held him tight. "Hey I've got you something" Chris announced when Richard got off him.

"Those nipple clamps I've always wanted?" He gasped and went through the shopping bags.

Chris burst into laughter "They don't sell those at the grocery store, bunny. But I'll definitely get you a pair of nipple clamps later"

"I've got you double stuffed oreos, you love them don't you?" he asked as he started to make some coffee.

"I do, thank you Chris" he said happily like the polite boy that he was and made the drummer smile fondly at him.

"uhm... Chris? Can I go out with Paul today? Please please pretty please." he stood behind the drummer and wrapped his arms around his waist.

"Go out with Paul where?"

"He found this sweet guitar work shop up town, told me it was awesome. They're gonna give us a tour of the work shop and everything. Please let me go with him, please. I'll be good, I promise."

Chris turned just in time to catch the glint of excitement in his wide blue eyes. He peered into those eyes for a moment. "What time are you supposed to go?" he asked softly as he pulled Richard to him and pushed the stray hair off his face.

"Paul called about half hour ago, I told him you left your keys and I had to wait for you and I'll let him know when you're back" He explained as he leaned on Chris's body.

"You lied to Paul?" Chris snickered.

"Couldn't exactly tell him that I needed your permission to go out, could I? He already calls me your lit

tle girl. If he knows that, the bastard will never let it go" Richard said annoyed.

"Do you have a problem with being my little girl?" Chris raised one eyebrow at him and turned his lips into a thin irritated line.

"No, jeez, I don't. You know that. My problem is with Paul being a dick head. I just wanna punch the asshole in the face sometimes" He rolled his eyes and made a bitchy face.

"OK stop fussing, you can go. But not before you eat something and you almost did punch Paul during the tour but promise you won't do that today" He laughed.

Richard cheered again as he cuddled to Chris and thanked him in the shape of big noisy kisses. "We'll eat something on our way, I gotta go call him" He was walking away when Chris caught him by his arm.

"You won't go anywhere before you eat something, young man. If you go out and smoke like a fuckin chimney on an empty stomach like you always do, I'll be the one who has to deal with you bitching about stomachache later. Now sit down, the coffee is almost ready" He ordered firmly. He was right so Richard said a quiet and pouty "yes sir" and sat down.

\-----

Chris pulled over when he arrived at Till's. He started ringing the bell and banging on the door, until the singer appeared in the door frame. "What the fuck?" was his first irritated reaction, he looked at Schneider through puffy eyes. Chris pushed past him and invited himself in.

"Please do come in" Till said Sarcastically.

"Where is he?" Chris almost yelled in desperation.

"He who? What's going on Schneider?"

"He left, he fuckin left me. With a fuckin letter"

Tills eyes were now wide and there was no trace of sleep in them anymore. "Richard? Left you? What happened? Hey sit down, stop pacing around"

"I don't wanna sit the fuck down. He wrote that he's gonna leave the country. Till you two are close, please tell me if you know where he is, please I need to talk to him" The drummer was in distress.

"I swear I'm just hearing it from you, come on you need to calm down Schn-"

"I don't need to calm down, I need Richard. Call everyone, maybe they know"

"If he didn't tell you, he definitely didn't tell anyone else, just tell me what happened? Did you two fight?"

"No we didn't fuckin fight. I woke up this morning and he was gone" He was on the verge of tears but held back. Saying it over and over again made it so real and scarier.

"What was in the letter?" He asked softly.

Chris considered his friend for a moment then reached into his pocket and gave Till the letter. Till started reading the letter with his eyes moving on each line carefully. "Master?" Came his quiet and surprised voice with raised eyebrows.

"Seriously? That's what you got from that letter?" Chris was vexed.

"Did you hurt him Schneider?" He sounded stern. The drummer shook his head no. "I love him."

"He means his past, doesn't he?" He shook the letter.

Chris only nodded and lit up a cigarette. He tried to swallow the painful lump in his throat with each long and heavy drag.

"He'll be back you know?" The singer murmured.

"How do you know that?" Chris asked barely above a whisper.

"I've known him for years. I've never seen him so love struck like this before, you two've been together for a year and he still looks at you like he's a teenager who's fell in love for the first time.... besides he'd never leave the band"

Chris smirked bitterly and stared at an unknown spot in front of him. He finished his cigarette and stood up.

"Where you going? Stay here" Till was worried about his friend.

"No I'm gonna go home. Maybe he calls or something. Just please Till, let me know if he contacts you." He was now at the door.

"I will and you let me know if you needed anything, you hear me Christoph?" Chris wasn't used to being called by his first name, especially not by his band mates. He understood Tills worry for him but was far too gone to care.

"Don't tell the guys about the letter." He sighed.

"You have my words." Till was the last person to judge anyone for their lifestyle. Chris was positive on that. Besides he was like a brother to Richard and to Chris, himself. That's why the drummer could trust him with things like that.

Chris drove off to an unknown location, he just drove and let his mind wander in every minute he spent with his sweet guitarist. He pulled over on the side of the road. No one was there, he got out the car and leaned on it while smoking one cigarette after the other. His brain flew off to when they were touring in America about six months ago during the summer. They had three days off between shows and he was too tired to do anything. He just wanted to stay in their room with Richard and cuddle with him and kiss him and touch him and just be with him the whole time. Paul stole Richard one afternoon so they could go out with Ollie and see the city. Unlike Chris, Richard loved sight seeing so he begged the dominant to let him go with them and Chris who couldn't say no to Richard when he practically jumped in front of him like he was on a trampoline and was all cute and sweet, finally agreed and gave him permission to go out.  
The drummer was sitting on the couch with his feet propped up on the coffee table watching a movie when Richard came back to their shared hotel room.  
"Fuck... It's like two hundred degrees outside, God America is hot" He complained.

"Not hotter than you baby...did you have fun?" Chris grinned when Richard leaned over the couch and kissed his neck. "Meeeh...you weren't there so..." He trailed kisses on his earlobe and cheek. "Stop it Reesh, I'm watching a movie" He sounded stern. Richard knew he wasn't supposed to bother his master when he was like that but he was too bored that day and even hanging out with Paul and Ollie didn't help much.  
"Nooo,,, don't watch the movie, watch me ... Pleeeease, me me" Richard pouted sweetly and walked around the couch to kneel in front of Chris who pressed the pause button on the TV remote and looked at Richard with raised eyebrows and his famous amused smile.  
"I'm bored Chris, play with me. Pleeeeease" He mewled like a child.

"if you're bored you can watch the movie with me, it's Triple X, I'm finally watching it, we're in it after all" He smiled at Richard's pouty face and nuzzled his fingers to his flushed cheeks.

"Nooo movies, play with me" He leaned into the touch and made a little begging noise like a puppy.

Chris furrowed at him, he secretly loved it when Richard acted bratty and needy like that, it was so sweet and lovely but he was also strict about the rules that he set out for the younger man to follow.  
"listen bunny, you already broke one rule today which you will be punished for, are you sure you want to add another one to the list?"  
The guitarist stared down at the floor and made another sad noise before speaking "I'm sorry master" He whispered with a small voice.  
"I know baby, but punishment is inevitable. Now,,, go and take a shower, you're all sweaty and after the movie's over, we'll talk" He said softly but strictly.

"but I don't like showers without you" The pouty face again.

"and I don't like it when you're a disobedient little whore, now up you get."

Richard pouted again and gave him a sad look. He knew he was dismissed so he stood up and went to the bathroom. Since the two started going out, Richard's grew to hate alone showers. He loved being washed and touched so softly by Christoph after all the roughness and scars the dominant gave him. He also wasn't allowed to jerk off anymore which was another torment for him that the drummer loved cuz it'd always keep Richard begging in need and turned on.  
He got out of the shower with only a white towel around his waist. He didn't say a word to Chris, just started walking in front of him and pretending that he looked for something in his suitcase while bending over it. He picked up his boxers and took the towel off to wear them.  
"Did I say you could wear your own boxers?" The stern voice sent shivers down Richard's spine. The movie was on pause again. Richard stood there, naked with the underwear in his hand.

"umm,,,"

"Come here" He motioned to his lap and Richard almost ran to him and curled in the dominant's lap. "Now that's a nicely cleaned up little boy that can be properly played with" Richard made a content noise and nuzzled his head into the crook of the drummer's neck.  
"You need to learn how to use your words, bunny, instead of making all these cute noises"

"Bunny" Richard giggled.

"Yeah,,, you're always as horny as a little bunny" There was a big smile in his voice. "My little bunny" He held the smaller man tighter in his embrace.

"Now will you play with me, pleeease?" He whispered after minutes of cuddling.

"That reminds me... You've got some punishment to receive."

"Oh..." He started moving and turned over on his stomach to lay his upper body in Chris's lap, so his ass was within the drummer's reach. The whole thing was so cute it made Chris laugh. "You know you're not supposed to enjoy getting spanked, right?" He said between laughs. "You needy slut"

"Ooh,,, I don't. Really" He lied and faked his cutest innocent face.

"Is that so little bunny? Then why do you stick your pretty ass in my face the second I say you need to be punished"

"Because after this you'll play with me and besides I wanna be a good boy for you" He mused in a small voice.  
Chris loved this baby-like-attitude from Richard. It made him feel in charge and needed and he knew it was real. Richard was extremely needy, emotionally and physically. Out there he always acted in charge, trying to control everything and everyone and it always worked. He was a diva who could make everyone do exactly as he wanted but in their privacy, he would leave all control to Chris. He only wanted to be owned and controlled by the drummer and the older man knew all that.  
Chris smiled and put his hand on the smooth and perfect ass cheeks.  
"OK then, start counting for me, little whore" He landed the first smack as Richard shuddered "One master"

He hit him again and again, every time harder than the last. His own palms were burning and the white skinned ass had red handprints on it. The sight was satisfying to the dominant.  
"Sixteen master" His voice was now trembling. His body was shaking more and more with each smack. His unintentional erection was pressing against the dominant's lap.

"Twenty-three master" He moaned. Chris clutched in his hair and pulled his head up to arch his body backward. "Tell me who owns you little toy"

"You do, Master" He panted in a mix of pain and pleasure.

"Tell me what you are" He growled in his ear.

"I'm your pet, master"

"That's right, you're my good little pet. Now go wear your collar, come back and give me your leash" Richard got off his lap and did as he was told then he knelt in front of the master with the collar wrapped tightly around his neck just the way the dominant liked it. He nuzzled his head to the drummer's thighs with the other end of the leash between his teeth.

"Good pet" He took the leash from his mouth and fondled his cheeks, Richard closed his eyes and leaned into the hand. He was so beautiful like that. Chris could just eat him in one mouthful. He stood up and pulled on the leash so Richard was now behind him on all fours. He dragged his pet in the middle of the room. Chris stopped by the bed and the submissive sat with his knees propped under him.  
"Take my belt off" Richard did as he was told and then put the belt between his teeth and looked up at Chris. The dominant smiled sweetly and stuck the end of the leash into his jeans belt bridge before taking the belt out of the little pet's mouth and going behind him. He bounded Richard's arms together behind his back with the belt. When it was tightly tied he sat in front of him and ran his hands over the sub's body and grasped his beautifully shaped breasts and rubbed them firmly. Richard threw his head back in pleasure. Watching the sub enjoying his touch like that, turned Chris on beyond imagination. He unexpectedly took each of Richard's nipples between each of his thumbs and index fingers and pinched them hard and watched as Richard's eyes snapped and he screeched in pain and pleasure mixed together. The drummer had the most feral smile on his face. "That's for teasing me little slut" His smile grew more menacing when he let go of one nipple and slapped it hard. Richard wailed as Chris slapped his other breast harder than before. He pinched and slapped them again before leaning in and biting at his nipple and sucking on the teeth mark until he bruised Richard nicely and made him scream. When he was satisfied with the marked skin he stood back up and enjoyed the panting mess in front of him for a moment.

"Master?" Richard knew he wasn't allowed to speak after the session has started but his voice was so small that Chris couldn't punish him for it. He just looked annoyed.

"Yes?"

"C-Can I ask for something before you s-start?" He was staring at the floor.

"What do you need?" The dominant was actually curious to know what was it that made him speak. Richard looked up at him with his deep blue doe eyes. "C-Could you please kiss me... Master?" He blushed deeper with every word and watched as Chris's eyes went soft. He considered the tied up man on the floor for a moment as his heart skipped a beat. He could never deny his sweetheart a kiss especially when his sweetheart looked so needy and desperate on the floor for him. The drummer bent down and gripped the hair at the back of Richard's head and pulled it back and watched as his mouth fell open. Their lips were connected in a wet slow kiss which turned noisy and passionate. Chris broke the kiss and looked closely at Richard. His eyes were still closed and his lips were parted and shiny with spit. He opened his eyes, there was this dark languish look in them which made the dominant kiss him again.  
"I swear to God... You drive me crazy" He whispered against the submissive's parted lips. Richard didn't say anything else, just waited patiently for Chris's next move which was taking his clothes off. The sub kept his eyes on the floor until he heard Chris. "Look at me" He complied. He ran his eyes over his dom's beautiful body and licked his lips. "Open" The master simply ordered as he gripped his hair again. Richard opened up his mouth and stuck his tongue out. Chris slowly brushed on the plush lips with his tip. "Suck" As the word was said, the hot and expert lips were wrapped around his cock and now Richard was sucking him like the little pro that he was. He stared up into Chris's eyes with his dark eyes full of lust and need. "Look at your pretty face getting fucked,,, you're loving this, aren't you slut?"

"Uhuuh... " Richard moaned while choking on the cock deep down in his throat. The pressure caused tears in his eyes, Chris freed his head and let him off his cock. Richard took a deep breath and broke the string of spit between his lips and Chris's tip then pushed his head forward to lick and suck on the master's balls. "Fuck,,," Chris hissed in pleasure. Richard swallowed around him causing him to moan and start thrusting in the guitarist's throat. When he stopped and let go of the hair, Richard was struggling to get his breathing under control. He coughed as tears rolled on his cheeks. Chris yanked on the leash "Get on the bed" Richard got on the bed while staggering. He was kneeling on the bed waiting for his next orders. Chris cupped his chin firmly and brutally and started kissing him roughly. Then pushed two fingers into his mouth making him suck on them.  
"Head on the mattress and ass up in the air" He ordered as he pulled his fingers out. Richard complied and spread his knees apart.  
"Awww,,, are you inviting me inside?" Chris had his sweet and scary tune on. "Yes Master... Please..."  
Chris yanked harder on the leash which made Richard's head thrown back and he landed a hard smack on his ass. "You don't invite me inside of something that's already mine" He almost yelled. "Are we clear, little slut?"

"Yes M-Master,,, I'm s-sorry... "

Chris pushed two fingers inside of him. "This... Is mine, mine to fuck, to eat or to do whatever the fuck that pleases me."

"Yes Master... Yours. Please master,,, fuck me, please" Richard bagged while moaning and whimpering. Chris pulled his fingers out and wrapped the leash around his palm.  
He stood behind the bound body and smacked his ass hard then he pushed himself slowly inside. Richard moaned loudly and turned his palms into fists behind his back. Chris took one of his hands in his and squeezed. He spanked the pretty ass cheeks again and again with each deep thrust. Richard scratched with his nails at the back of Chris's hand and screamed into the mattress. He was whimpering and moaning like a dying animal as Chris picked up his pace and was now thrusting madly. Richard would do anything in order for Chris to touch him. He wailed when Chris pulled out of him and yanked on the leash making him fall on the floor.  
"Kneel and lay your head on the bed so you can hold your body upright." Richard did what he was told and pushed his ass up for the drummer. Chris slid back inside and moved so hard that with each thrust Richard's body would move an inch forward.  
"Master please... please touch me,,," He panted. Without a word Chris took his hand between the guitarist's wobbly legs and started stroking him at the same pace as his mad thrusts. Richard was biting on the mattress so he wouldn't scream so loud. "L-Let me cum Mastuh,,, pleaaa.. "  
He couldn't even say the words after minutes of hard slams inside him. Chris wasn't any better. His wolfish brain didn't comprehend anything more than fucking Richard madly. He bit down harshly at his side and made him scream and arch his back down. The drummer jerked him off hard and steady and he knew his sub was almost done. "Come for me slut, you can finish... Come on" Richard let go at his words and came in his hands as he pushed his ass further into the cock inside him. His whole body was shaking and his lungs were fighting for air. "Master,,, come in-inside me, please,,," He threw himself back hard on Chris with each thrust. At his incoherent words Chris knew he was done, he released himself inside Richard and fell on top of him. Richard couldn't handle their weights with his arms bound together anymore, he was about to fall on his face and hit his head to the bed when Chris finally came to his senses and held him tight and slowly pulled out "Oh baby,,, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry come on, on the bed" He unrestrained Richard and helped him lie on the bed so the drummer could straddle his ass and massage his back and arms. "Baby you were amazing for me... so good and pretty" He whispered as he trailed wet kisses on his shoulder blades. The man mumbled something unintelligible. Chris got off him and held him tight, Richard purred softly with his face in Chris's neck. "Hold me master" He begged softly like a child and tried to curl closer to him. Chris held him and kissed him on every inch of his face. "I've got you my little bunny,,, it's ok, you're safe pretty" Richard purred again.

"You're my sweet sweet little pet. Master loves his bunny so much, do you know that?" He didn't stop kissing the responsive lips of his lover. Richard made the sweetest little noises and softly kissed him back. "The bunny loves his master so very much too" He whispered against Chris's lips. Chris felt butterflies in his stomach. He felt like he could explode right there with the amount of love and admiration he had for this man in his arms. Richard curled closer to him and put his leg between Chris's legs, Chris turned on his side and held him tightly then threw one leg over his side. "Baby I forgot to clean us up" He remembered.

"Nooo nooo don't get up, don't go now please" The needy submissive begged him in manners of a child.

"OK bunny, alright I won't get up,,, you can sleep, I'm here,,, I'll stay right here cuddling you" He smiled fondly at the noises Richard made for him and kissed him again. They both drifted off wrapped around each other.

Graet! Now he had to deal with a painful boner along with the tears in his eyes.  
"Where are you Richard?" He whispered quietly as he stomped on his cigarette and got in his car to drive back home.  
He tried to keep Richard's voice stuck in his head. Remembering how he'd pronounce certain words, when his lips would curl for spelling some syllables, the way he'd scrunch his nose at Christoph, the sound of his laughs. His mischievous grins when he'd done something bad and Chris would wanna punish him. The way he would always shove himself into the drummer's embrace and demand cuddles and kisses like a needy puppy. Chris was in love with every little detail about him, the graceful way of his body movements as he'd walk, his talented fingers strumming on his guitar while his head was down and his hair was all over the place, so beautifully messy. Even the way he'd always bitch to Chris about certain parts of his drumming for some songs. He would wake up at four in the morning giving Chris ideas about new songs until the drummer threatened he'd gag him if he doesn't shut up and go back to sleep, then he would get mad and pouty with the dominant but that would never stop him from laying his head back on Chris's chest. In one word Richard was his peace. How does a person supposed to live without their peace?  
He unlocked the door and entered their apartment looking for signs that'll maybe indicate that Richard was back. Nothing.  
He let himself fall on the couch after he grabbed a bottle of whisky from the kitchen and lit another cigarette as his messed up brain threw a bunch of memories in his face again. He remembered one Saturday noon when he was spooning Richard on that very couch.  
"What do you say I take you out to dinner tonight?" He whispered softly into his ear.

"Are you asking me on a date Christoph Schneider?" He muttered.

"What if I am?" He kissed behind Richard's ear as he smiled.

"You see? I have a master. He has a pretty strict rule about not sharing his pet with anyone and he's a drummer, he'll wrench your eyes out with his drum sticks if he finds out about us" He said playfully and pushed himself further into Chris's body wrapped possessively around him.

"Oh I know him. I'm sure he wouldn't mind sharing his pretty bunny with me" Chris smiled at his sudden movement and held him tighter.

"If you say so, then yes I'd love to go out with you" He mused and turned his head to get a kiss from him.

"Would you now?" Chris mumbled with a smile before connecting their lips together. "Uhumm..."  Richard hummed contently into his mouth. The drummer fondled his cheeks and deepened the kiss. They slowly and languidly kissed until they needed to breath. Chris kissed the corner of his mouth "God I. Can't. Stop. Kissing. You" He pecked on the smaller man's lips with each word. "Then don't" Richard smiled with his eyes closed. "You're lips are just so edible, I mean you're whole body is edible but those wet plush lips of yours..." He kissed his lover again and leisurely licked inside his mouth. "I'm so in love with you, Richard." He whispered as he pressed their foreheads together. They had stupid smiles on their faces. Everyone in the band though their relationship wouldn't last more than a month. But they fell in love deeper and deeper with each passing day. "Then don't ever go" Richard murmured.

"Never"

Chris picked up the vase on the small table next to the couch and hurled it to the wall in front him with full power.

"You were the one who fuckin left" He shouted at the empty apartment.

"You fuckin... Oh my god" He cut his own words off and uncontrollably gave in to his feelings. He started sobbing like he had never before. The sad sound echoed through the living room and made Chris even worse. He hated to sob like that. He was never the crying kind but he felt his whole world crumbling around him. He felt like the walls were closing in on him, his breath had a deep hitch in it between sobs. He thought he could die from the feeling. There was a hole in his heart now, a hole which caused him not being able to breath. A hole which was supposed to be filled with Richard. He needed Richard, he needed that man with every molecule in his body. He was his oxygen. His mess of a brain was getting foggy from half the whisky bottle.  
"Come home" He whispered in the most melancholic tune as his eyelids were uncontrollably closing and he passed out.

 


	8. Chapter 8

The black haired man was sitting on an old sofa in the small rental studio he was now living in. He always had a thing for that city so he'd thought to himself that now that he was gonna leave his love and his life behind, the least he could do was to run to his favorite city. He has been alone for the past week and it was hell. All he could do was to smoke and drink himself into oblivion or play his guitar until the strings were wet with his never ending tears. Now even New York city seemed gloomy. Everything was ugly without Christoph, without his loving gaze on the guitarist's form, without his arms wrapped possessively around him, without his hands over his, without his scent and his taste everything felt grey with sadness and loneliness. Richard hated being alone, it always terrified him to his core. He constantly needed someone to be attentive to him, to care for him. He wasn't some helpless child, he was perfectly capable of taking care of himself. The problem was his heart, his emotions. They always needed attention and Christoph was the only one who could give him everything he needed and more, a lot more. He understood Richard in ways that no one ever could. He knew exactly what Richard needed in every minute of every day, physically and emotionally. Their connection was a lot deeper than any other two people. Richard knew all this but he felt like he had to do what he'd done. He loved Christoph a lot more than to be capable of runing his life.  
Now there he was, alone with his own messed up thoughs. He knew he deserved to be punished for leaving Christoph like that. He knew he wasn't allowed to leave the house without his permission. " _He would have wanted me punished._ " the younger man thought to himself so he put out his cigarette on his forearm near the other self-inflicted burn marks. He had turned himself into his own ashtray. Christoph would never punish him so severe like that but Richard needed to be strict with himself, he needed to follow his dominant's rules because he needed the physical reminder of the fact that he belonged to him. The emotional reminder was always with him.  
He hissed with pain and drank another gulp of whisky when he heard the door bell. He stood up and staggered towards the door and opened it.

"Hi, it's Tracy. sorry I'm late, l got stuck in the stupid traffic" The blonde woman announced. She was wearing a tight black dress and had cheap makeup on. One could say she was beautiful if the makeup wasn't too whorish. Richard motioned for her to come in. "Did you bring the items I've asked?" he asked as he put the bottle of whisky on the coffee table.

"Yes, a pair of gloves and a strap-on dildo. When you asked for these over the phone, I thought you were some kinky weirdo but you seem perfectly normal....too perfect in fact" She added the last sentence with a flirtatious tone.

_The fuckin irony._

"You don't seem like the type who needs to pay for sex" She flirted further.

Richard rolled his eyes before answering. "Can we stop the chit chat and get to the point please? The bedroom is over there" He pointed at the bedroom with frustration. She nodded with a hurt expression and walked towards the bedroom.

"Here are the stuff" The prostitute held her hand out to Richard to give him a pair of black leather gloves and the strap on.

"You'll be wearing them, not me." Richard whispered as he shook his head and took his shirt off.

The woman's eyes snapped, she watched as Richard walked towards the big suitcase in the corner of the room. "W-What?"

Richard was holding two t-shirts in his hand. A black one and a white one. He shoved his face in them and smelled them before throwing the white one at Tracy and wearing the black one himself. He tried to swallow the lump in his throat as he breathed into Chris's smell.  
"Wear it, the gloves as well. You won't touch me, you won't kiss me. You will only... fuck me with the dildo and here is your money. I put in another fifty." He reached into his pocket and threw the money on the bed then started stripping off his jeans. His voice was so cold and stern that it surprised him. The woman only nodded. She couldn't stop running her eyes on Richard's body. The bite marks all over him and the cut on his chest before he wore the t-shirt seemed too weird to her. She stripped and wore Chris's t-shirt and waited for Richard to get on the bad, Richard got on all fours after he handed her the bottle of lube. She gasped quietly as she saw the lash marks on his ass. Doing what she did, she'd seen some pretty weird stuff but a handsome man with wounds and marks all over him asking her to fuck him with a dildo without touching him, was something else. She wore the strap on and the gloves and lubed up the dildo before positioning herself behind Richard.

"D-Do you need me to... to prep you first? This might hurt" She strutted.

"No... just fuck me" He said quietly and spread his knees further.  
She slowly started shoving the piece of plastic inside the tight hole, Richard moaned quietly and clutched into the bed sheets. She grabbed on Richard's hips and slowly started thrusting, Richard grew frustrated. "Harder" He demanded.

"You're wounds are still raw, this will hurt you know?"

"Juses christ lady, just fuck me. You let me worry about my fuckin wounds" He yelled and gasped as the prostitute shoved the dildo deep inside of him and thrusted.

Deeper and deeper as the plastic found its way through Richard's sweet spot and made him whimper. The hard thrusts continued as they made Richard scream. Tears pricked his eyes and all his thoughts were now concentrated on Christoph. His hands on Richard, his lips on his skin, Richard's flesh between his teeth, his words, his loving and feral stares, his member inside of Richard.  
"Hit me" Richard moaned with a hoarse voice as his tears uncontrollably rolled on his cheeks.

"What?" She suddenly stopped thrusting.

"Fuck... don't stop... smack my fuckin ass" He hissed.

Tracy did as she was told and thrusted harder and deeper. Richard screeched with each hard smack. He slipped his hands between his legs and started stroking himself in sync with the deep hard thrusts. He moaned and whimpered. Holding his body up with one arm while he was being slammed into,  was difficult especially in his drunken haze. He laid his head on the mattress and felt the dildo deeper inside as he cried out and felt himself over the edge. Two more thrusts and he was done, he came all over his own hand and the bed sheets. He couldn't see clearly from the alcohol and his tears shielding his vision. His whole body was shaking. Tracy pulled out and flopped down next to Richard.  
"OK I changed my mind. You do seem like the type who needs to pay for sex you kinky weirdo"

Richard turned his back on her and pulled his knees up to his chest. "You may leave" was all he whispered. He was still shaking.

"You don't seem alright, are you s-"

"Give me the t-shirt and leave" He cut her words off with a melancholic tone.  
Again she did as she was told then left without a word after putting her clothes back on.

Richard shoved his face into the t-shirt and exhaled deeply. It was instantly wet with his tears. He sobbed until he didn't have any energy left. He sobbed Chris's name and drowned in the drummer's scent until he was completely drained and fell asleep.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter was too short but I promise longer ones will be here as soon as possible. 
> 
> Opinions are appreciated.


	9. Chapter 9

"So why New York?" Tracy asked. They were laying on Richard's bed yet after another weird sex session. Tracy had become some sort of a friend for Richard.  
The guitarist hadn't seen Chris in over two months, he was going gradually crazy. Drunk every day and crying every night. The only other thing he could do was play his guitar but even that, was about Christoph. He wrote songs about him and played them for Tracy. The woman was stunned by the amount of dejection in his songs. She had no idea about who Rammstein was and Richard was content like that.

"I have good memories here." He shrugged and lit up a cigarette.

"You're weird."

"You don't have to say that every day Tracey."

She laughed softly and turned on her side propping herself on her elbow looking at Richard. "There are male prostitutes, you know? Why did you wanna be with a woman?"

"I'd rather have a piece of plastic inside me than someone other than... him"

"Are your memories in new york about him?"

Richard nodded. "Can you tell me?" He shook his head no.

He fell in the sea of his memories again, when they were on tour in New York. It was one night between shows and they decided to go to a local bar and have some drinks. After a couple of shots, Paul being Paul started making jokes and faces and it made all of them laugh. Richard was drunker than others that night. Paul, the asshole that he was, pinched his ass every chance he'd get. Richard would yelp every time and swat his hands.  
"Paul, could you please stop pinching my boyfriend's ass?" Chris muttered annoyed and possessive. and caught Richard's arm and pulled the guitarist to himself to make some distance between him and Paul. They all laughed as Paul repeated his action again.  
"Fuck, Paul. Stop pinching my ass, only he is allowed to pinch my ass" Richard squealed cutely and pointed at Chris then he poured his tenth shot of vodka.  
"OK no more vodka for you, Reesh" Chris tried to take the shot out of the drunk guitarist's grip, he playfully wouldn't let go of the glass then the glass slipped out of his grip and spilled in the collar of his shirt and wetted his shirt from the inside. Chris managed to catch the glass in the air before it hits the ground.

"Ten points for the drummer" Paul cheered and made everyone laugh.

"Aww I liked this shirt." Richard pouted. "and I'm all wet with vodka now, what are you gonna do Chris?" He teased and raised an eyebrow at Chris while trying not to fall on the floor from the dizziness.

"Juses christ" Till snorted.

"Come on, I'm getting you out of here Richard" Chris stood up and tried to help Richard up but the drunk man slipped and fell on the floor and started giggling uncontrollably. Paul and Ollie were laughing at him but Chris was really annoyed because that evening he specifically told Richard not to drink too much cuz he had something important to tell him. He sat down next to Richard and whispered threateningly in his ear. "Richard get the fuck up and let's get out of here, you're starting to make me angry"

"Ooooh am I gonna be punished, daddy? I think you're gonna have to lick all the vodka you spilled on me before you punish me" He slurred teasingly and laughed playfully. Now Chris was angry and turned on at the same time. He gripped on Richard's arm and his other hand around his waist and picked him up. The smell of the guitarist's body drove him crazy, a mix of alcohol and cigarettes and Richard's own scent.

"OK we're out." Chris announced the others as he held Richard close to him so he wouldn't fall again.

"Have fun guys." Paul snickered and waved his hand with a big grin on his face.

"We will, I'm gonna... imma get spanked." Richard stammered and pushed his ass back making all of them but Chris burst into laughter. Till laughed so hard that his drink was snorted out of his nose.  
Chris nudged Richard and forced him to walk. When they were finally out of the crowded and hot bar, Chris let out a breath and let the cool summer breeze of new york city fondle his face. Richard tripped over his own feet but the drummer grabbed him in time.

"You're mad at me." Richard said with a quiet voice.

"No shit." The drummer rolled his eyes. He was irritated.

They were walking by a dark narrow alley near the bar when Richard took Chris's hand and dragged him in the alley, he leaned against the brick wall and pulled Chris close and pressed their foreheads together. Chris's breaths were short and fast. He couldn't see Richard's face in the darkness. They started kissing madly, Chris had both his hands on the wall on the sides of Richard's head and Richard's arms were wrapped around his back. Richard moaned into the kiss as the drummer bit his bottom lip harshly and sucked on it. They had to part so they could get some air in their lungs.

"Fuck my mouth right here, I wanna blow you." Richard said harshly and started to unbutton Chris's jeans. The drummer took his wrists aggressively and pinned them to the wall.

"You don't get to tell me what the fuck to do, you fuckin slut. Especially not when you've disobeyed me like this." He whispered sternly.

"Please please let me suck your cock, I need it." He was impatient. "Punish me later Chris, right now I need you, please" He begged. Chris considered him for a moment. Richard's whole body was shaking with anticipation and the effect of alcohol.

"Get down." He finally whispered and Richard happily complied and got down on his knees and unbuttoned the jeans with his shaky hands. He sighed joyfully when he finally took Chris's semi-hard member in hand and kissed his tip. "Thank you, Master" He murmured and started licking it teasingly before getting it down his throat. Chris had one hand up against the wall and the other clutched in Richard's hair. He couldn't see his face, he could just feel his hot velvet mouth wrapped around him and hear his moans.  
"Fuck" Chris hissed when Richard swallowed around him. He thrusted into his throat and heard him getting choked. Richard whimpered and clutched into Chris's hips. Chris pulled out to let him breathe. He heard him on the ground gasping for air.

"M-Master..." He stammered with a shaky voice.

Chris grabbed his arms and helped him stand up, the guitarist leaned against the wall and tried to take deep breaths. The drummer buttoned his jeans back up and held Richard so he wouldn't fall again.

"No no please... why did you do that?" He whined in protest.

"Baby you're not fine, let's just go back to the hotel. Please, OK? I'll take care of you love, come on." He dragged him back into the street between his whinings. They got into a taxi after Chris bought him a bottle of water and made him slowly drink it. In the taxi, Richard was plain in the drummer's arms. Chris shut the small window between them and the driver so the man wouldn't hear them. Richard made whining noises and wrapped his arms tighter around the drummer's waist.

Chris kissed his head and held him tighter. "I know bunny, I know. It's ok... I've got you" He whispered sweetly.

"I should've listened to you." He muttered with tear in his eyes. "Now you're so mad at me, you don't even want my mouth on you." He really sounded sad. Chris smiled and kissed him several times.

"Pretty, that's not why I made you stop. You're not feeling well sweety, besides I couldn't see your beautiful eyes." He cooed lovingly.

Richard nuzzled his face into the drummer's chest. "Love me Chris" He pleaded.  
Chris made him look up and tilted his own head down to kiss his lips. He sucked on the guitarist's bottom lip and kissed the corner of his mouth. He stared down into his sad giddy eyes in the weak lighting. "How can I not love you when you're this needy and pretty?" He kissed his forehead and smiled at him.

When they got to their hotel room, Chris drew a bath and bathed Richard lovingly and softly. He kept kissing him and telling him what an amazing pretty pet he was.

"You're my good little boy, aren't you baby?" He cooed as he sat Richard down on the bed with a towel wrapped around his waist. He lifted the guitarist's hands near his lips and started kissing every single one of his fingers. 

Richard slightly nodded. He looked much better after the bath and drinking water which got some of the toxic out of his system. "Are you still mad at me?" He had the same dejected look in his eyes.

"It's hard to stay mad at you when you're all adorable and sweet like that." Chris kneeled in front of him and rested his hands on his lover's thighs.

His mood slightly lifted. "What were you gonna tell me? You said you had something important to say."

"I was thinking... we're nearing the end of this tour and I thought to myself that... that how am I gonna be away from you when we go back home. I mean since we started this... us... in this whole tour you were always by my side. I was wondering if you would... want to move in with me?" He looked up at Richard with hopeful eyes. Richard's eyes snapped. "You want me to live with you?" His lips curled into a happy smile.

"I do baby, I want all our belongings to be under the same roof, I wanna wake up every day with you in my arms, I wanna have you all to myself 24/7, to take care of you" He murmured wistfully and kissed Richard's knuckles. 

"Yes yes, I would fuckin love to live with you." He almost shouted in happiness as he hugged Chris. His whole body was shuddering with excitement. Chris laughed happily and hugged him back, tight. They stayed like that for minutes, the sound of Richard breathing in the drummer's neck as he squeezed him tighter, made him feel all jittery and calm at the same time.  
"Thank you Chris, I've never been happier. I can't believe I'm so lucky to get to be with you. I promise you that I will behave, I will be good. I love you so much." He whispered into the drummer's ear and pressed his lips on his neck. Chris smiled as he parted them to look into his boyfriend's eyes. "You already are good, baby boy and I promise you that I'll do anything to make you happy. You'll forget about every bad thing that's ever happened to you." Richard's smile was so big and bright, it made the drummer kiss him over and over again.  
They eventually parted and Chris put his clothes on Richard and wore something himself before he lay his beloved in bed. "Cuddles cuddles cuddles" Richard shouted like a child with his arms held out for Chris. The drummer laughed and put the lights out then got into bed, the second he did that, Richard snuggled to him and laid half on top of the taller man and made the cutest content noises as he littered small kisses on the dominant's jaw.  
"I'm gonna spoil you and take care of you all the time." He held his small guitarist tight in his arms. "My little bunny boy." He kissed Richard's head.

Richard curled closer to him. "Finally I'll have someone to cook for." He mused. Chris let out a soft laugh. "And you'll fuck the shit out of me every day." He said playfully. "And nights" He grinned.

"I was trying to talk only about the romantic stuff, you're the one with the filthy mind, you dirty boy" He laughed.

"Oh come on you know you were thinking about it too." He smacked at Chris's chest.

"OK I was." He confessed and kissed Richard's head again. "I even might go as far as tying you to the bed all the time and not letting you leave the house."

"Trust me, I wouldn't wanna leave."

And with that, they fell in a comfortable silence. The only sound was Richard's occasional deep happy sighs which made Chris smile affectionately.

"Why don't you go to sleep, baby?" Chris whispered.

"I can't stop thinking about how cool it's gonna be." The smaller man mused. Chris let out a soft laugh. "I can't wait to tell the guys, can I go see if they're back from the bar yet?"

"No Reesh, you can't. We'll tell them in the morning. You need to sleep now baby boy."

"Whatever." He muttered slightly irritated.

"What did you say?" Chris lifted his head up from the pillow and nudged the guitarist. He hated that word, it'd make him angry beyond anything. In fact he hated everything that resembled disobedience in the submissive's behavior.

"Yes sir, I said yes sir." Richard answered quickly and politely. He didn't have the emotional capacity for being punished right now. All he needed was to stay curled up in the master's arms.

"Good, now go to sleep." His tone was rather cold. Richard didn't say anything else. He obviously wanted to, but he chose to stay quiet. He closed his eyes and tried to go to sleep, but sleep refused to come to his eyes. Maybe it was the alcohol which was making him over think and emotional. But Chris's tone wouldn't get out of his head, he was afraid that stuff like this would happen when they'd start living together.

"Why don't you go to fuckin sleep, Richard?" The shorter man was ripped out of his thoughts when Chris blew air out of his nose and growled irritated. "I can hear your brain. Jesus."

Richard ripped himself out of his arms and rolled onto the other side of the bed. "There, sorry I bothered you." He muttered with his face into the pillow.

"Did I say you could do that?" The cold tone again. Richard was on the verge of tears. "Richard get the fuck back here, I'm warning you, don't test my patience after what you did tonight." Now he was mad.

"You can't talk to me like that." He almost yelled and turned to face Chris angrily.

"And why is that?" He growled furiously from between his teeth.

"Because... I ca... I can't handle it when you're like this with me, especially now that I'm... I'm drunk and you just asked me to live with you... I get scared when you talk to me like this, like you don't love me anymore." His voice cracked at the end of his sentence and he sniffed.

Chris turned on the weak light on the night stand to be able to see him and watched as he turned his back on Chris again and hugged himself. He was quietly crying into the pillow, the sight made Chris mad at himself for treating his little boy like that. He slowly approached Richard and held him from behind and started kissing his neck and shoulder and felt Richard melting a little into his arms.  
"Baby... I'm sorry, that will never happen. Don't be scared, hey... please forgive me sweetheart. I got too mad for a moment, I'm sorry gorgeous, please don't cry... you know I can't watch you cry."

Richard sniffed again and let out a deep shaky breath and turned his head to see Chris looking at him through regretful eyes. "Don't be cold with me, ever. Please. Beat me, punish me but don't be cold,,,I can't... I..."

"Shhhh...I know baby. I promise this was the last time. I'm so sorry,,, I'm sorry"

Richard didn't say anything, he just buried his face in the drummer's neck. Chris pulled his head back to stare into his eyes. "Talk to me baby, I need to know, master needs your words. Does my little bunny forgive me? I can't be the one who breaks your loving heart."

"Master is forgiven" He said shyly and quietly and looked up at Chris through wide weepy blue eyes and a faint of a smile. Chris beamed lovingly at him and tilted his head down to kiss his lips. They tasted salty from his tears, Richard made content noises into the kiss. When they parted, he looked completely drowsy but happy. Chris held him tight again.  
"Do you want to sleep now or do you want to stay up?" Chris knew the answer from Richard's hazy half-lidded eyes, but he wanted it to be his call. "Sleep." He murmured. "With spooning" He said in such a low voice, it was rather unintelligible.  
"Whatever my little cuddly boy wants." He smiled fondly and held Richard tight from behind. Richard pushed himself into Chris's body. "Your body fits into my embrace like the perfect piece of puzzle. I love you my sweet baby." The drummer whispered and heard his lover humming adorably and fell instantly asleep.

 

Richard was ripped out of his thoughts when he heard someone knocking on the door.

"Are you waiting for someone?" Tracy asked and Richard shook his head and sat up nervously.

"You want me to open the door?"

"No it's OK." He stood up and left the room walking anxiously towards the door.

Richard opened the door and was shocked when he saw Chris in the door frame looking down at him with at least ten different emotions. He was wearing a black shirt with leather jacket and boots and linen pants. They were both drinking each other with their eyes. After a very long minute, Chris ran his eyes on Richard's frame and noticed his own dark blue long sleeve t-shirt on the guitarist along with a pair of boxers. His face resembled satisfaction and it made Richard blush and look down.  
The guitarist felt his lungs running out of oxygen, he felt jittery and dizzy. He heard Chris grinding his teeth together. He just wanted to faint and avoid this confrontation. All he wanted was to jump in the drummer's arms and suffocate him with kisses, just like he used to but he just stood there listening to Chris's breathing getting more and more agitated.

"I woke up and you weren't there." His melancholic tone washed over Richard with sadness. The drummer knew what that sentence meant to the younger man. Richard once begged him not to leave him alone in the bed in the mornings and Chris never again did that. They had this unwritten deal that non of them would leave the bed without the other.

"And that was sixty-eight days ago." The drummer whispered. Richard mustered all his energy to look up at him. His eyes were filled with sorrow. He'd lost weight, his curly hair had grown beautifully and he had stubble on his face. He looked angelically pensive like that, Richard could stare into his demanding eyes forever.  
Suddenly Chris changed his eye direction and peered behind Richard, his eyes were now wide and unsettled. Richard turned around only to find out that Chris's object of sudden distress was Tracy standing there looking curiously at Christoph.  
For the second time that day, Chris saw his own t-shirt worn by someone else. This time he was confused and stared sternly back at Richard.  
"No... n-no..." The guitarist strutted. He was about to choke on his own words when he saw Chris turn around and walk away.  
The guitarist fell on his knees and started sobbing uncontrollably. Tracy ran to him and shut the door, then sat down and held the mess of tears in her arms. Richard cried until he didn't have any energy left. Tracy brought him some water. "Here... drink this." Richard took one gulp and let out a broken sob.  
"That was him, wasn't it? Your ex?"  
Richard only nodded. He was sitting on the floor leaning on the door, staring at an unknown distance. "Christoph." He whispered his master's name.

"He was hot." Tracy tried to change his mood.

"Tracy... Could you please leave? I need to be alone." He looked at the woman with expressionless eyes.

Tracy considered him for a moment. "Sure... yeah." She changed into her own clothes and left a kiss on Richard's hair. "Call if you needed anything." Then left.  
She decided to go to the bar across Richard's street to get a drink. God knows how much alcohol she needed after spending time with Richard.  
She walked into the bar and ordered a drink then looked around for potential customers. She stopped when she saw the sad German with curly hair at the end of the bar, drinking and smoking. She downed her drink in one go and walked towards Christoph.

"It's Christoph, right?"

Chris looked up and the second he saw her, anger formed into his piercing eyes.

"What the fuck do you want?" He growled.

Tracy took a seat and peered at the German with a smile. "I'm Tracy, the prostitute and the... well... The semi-friend."

The look on Chris's face changed into one of surprise. "He sent you?" He asked with a softer tone.

"No he asked me to leave so he could keep weeping and drink himself into oblivion and use his skin as his own ashtray."

Chris's eyes snapped. He bit hard at his tongue to hold his tears back. "He burns himself?" Chris was on the verge of crying.

"He said he must be punished because he left his master without permission. Of course, he told me that when he was loaded with alcohol. I'm assuming you're the master."

"Does he fuck you?" He asked with his now emotionless tone.

"OK this is the kind of talk that requires a bottle of brandy." She stood up and after getting a bottle came back and poured for both of them. Chris downed it before Tracy could put the bottle back on the table. They each drank two shots and Tracy started talking again.

"I fuck him with a strap-on. I should wear gloves so I can't touch him...He allowes no skin to skin contact, and as you saw, I must be in your clothes."

"What does he tell you?"

"Not much, most the time he asks me to talk about my day for him. It distracts him I guess. Sometimes he plays his guitar and I listen. It's amazing, he's very talented and very weird, kinda reminds me of my little brother."

"Tell me more about what he's been doing for the past two months." He needed to know about everything his lover has been through without him.

"ok...uhm...nothing really. He doesn't go out, I even buy his grocery for him. Not that he eats anything anyways, he just wants alcohol and cigarettes. I usually have to deny him his cigarettes and drinks until he eats. Sometimes I have to use your name actually, I tell him how would your master feel if he knew you don't eat. Works like magic. He's basically a puppy, I don't know what you'd do to him when he wouldn't eat." She smiled.

"I'd sit him in my lap and feed him, he loved it." Chris's eyes went soft, they were filled with love and sadness. "God I miss him." He whispered quitly to himself.

"Does he make you hurt him?" Chris asked afraid of the answer.

"Nothing severe, just spanking, it gets him off. The real pain is what he inflicts on himself. I've never seen anyone like him before. His feelings for you are...are unusual. It's kind of scary, I don't know how he survived all this time without you. He's so hot-headed and stubborn but I can only imagine how he probably melts when he's with you. I don't know you but I can tell you're good for him and judging by how shitty and fucked up you look, it's obvious you need him too."

Chris downed his fourth shot and let his tears run on his face. "Did he tell you why he left me?"

"I can't ruin his life. That's all he says." She said and shook her head then lit up a cigarette. "Listen... this thing he's got going on with me, literally has nothing to do with me. It's all about you. It's all a weak simulation of you, it's like he lives only for you. I'm sure you're smart enough to know all this, so stop pretending like he cheated on you or something. You know at some point I tried to stop taking money from him? But he said he wouldn't feel comfortable like that."

Chris stayed quiet for a minute. "They teach this stuff at the prostitution school?" He said with a friendlier tone.

"I used to love to become a psychiatrist." She slightly laughed.

They fell into silence again.

"You should go to him right now." She whispered.

"I know." Chris put some money on the table for the drinks and examined his words before saying them. "Look... I'm not really good with words when it comes to strangers so forgive me if I sound like an asshole. Do you need me to give you anything? Money I mean. Because I think I owe you, first of all for taking care of my baby for which you have my eternal gratitude and then for telling me what he's been doing."

"Wow... you Germans are polite." She chuckled. "I didn't do this for money. Ironic huh? But seriously... I Iike Richard, he deserves to be happy and you seem like a good guy so go and start taking care of your baby, yourself." she smiled.

Chris stood up and picked his jacket. "Thanks again. Let me know if you needed anything. I'll stay here for couple days then I'll take him back home. That is, if he wants to come with me"

"Trust me, he does."

They said their goodbyes and Chris left the bar and walked back to Richard's small studio.

He knocked on the door again. "Trace I told you I wanted to be alone." Came Richard's slurry and hoarse voice.

He was crying while drinking.

Chris knocked again, his heart was about to jump out of his chest. Richard opened the door, he looked slightly irritated. His beautiful face was wet with tears, eyes blood red, his skin was pale. He swallowed and stared at the drummer.  
"Are you gonna invite me in, Richard?" He murmured.  
Richard got out of his way and without a word the drummer walked in. He heard the door shut behind him. Richard was still standing by the door, shocked. He was playing with the too-long sleeves of Chris's shirt while staring down at the floor. There was half a cigarette burning in the ashtray. Chris picked it up and took long drags and put it out.  
"Come sit with me." He ordered softly to the man who was frozen in his place.  
Richard slowly strutted towards him and sat down at the other end of the couch.

He still wouldn't look up at Christoph.

"Richard do you want me out of here?"

He shook his head no.

"Do you want me to stay?"

He nodded.

"Do you like it here?"

Nothing.

"Aren't you gonna look at me?"

Nothing.

Chris moved on the couch to get close to him. Richard started biting his nails, his head completely down. Chris was now close enough to feel the heat radiating from his body. He let out a deep breath. The younger man's head was near the drummer's chest. He heard Richard's shaky breath as the smaller man shuddered uncontrollably. Chris held his face near Richard's hair and deeply inhaled his scent. The heavenly scent he loved so much. He exhaled and tried to hold back the tears. Richard didn't have such power, Chris saw his tears dropping on the drummer's thigh. No parts of their bodies were touching.

"Can I hold your face?"

Richard slightly nodded. Chris held his face and softly but firmly made him bring his head up. His eyes were closed. He let out an unintentional broken sob as his lips were trembling. Chris pressed their foreheads together. Both their breaths were coming out rugged. Richard lifted his hands and took the drummer's wrists. Chris parted their heads and looked at his beautiful face. He kissed his closed eyelids and his wet long eyelashes, then his forehead and the tears on his cheeks. More tears rolled on his face as Chris was doing that. He kept his bottom lip between his teeth to stop the sob escaping his mouth. Chris let out another breath as he brushed his thumb on his beloved's lips. His throat was hurting with too many lumps in it.  
"It's ok baby, you can cry my sweet love. We can cry together... Just please... please look at me..."

Richard opened his eyes slowly and looked at Chris through tears shielding his vision. Richard knew instantly how much he broke Chris by leaving him like that. He's never seen the drummer cry like this. He was usually strange with tears. The guitarist hated himself even more now. He crawled over Chris's lap and wrapped his arms around his neck and started weeping silently. They were both crying into the crook of each other's necks. Chris had both his arms around Richard's back and was holding him as tight as possible.  
When they were both drained, they stayed into each other's arms in silence for what seemed like hours with occasional hummings which slowly turned into lips brushing against skins. Chris took his time taking his shirt off Richard while the small man was straddling his lap. When he did he gasped with seeing what Tracy talked to him about. His arms and upper body were covered with at least twenty cigarette burn marks, old and new. The newest one was on his forearm.

"What've you done to yourself my love?" Chris's voice cracked. "I won't touch you if they hurt." He muttered.

Richard took his wrist again and put the drummer's hand on his left chest near his heart. The gesture was leisure and slow, Richard missed being claimed by Christoph more than anything.

There were three marks there. Chris felt his heart beat under his touch, he tilted his head down and started languidly kissing on the burn marks. He couldn't believe he was holding his beloved again. Richard placed his hands behind him on Chris's knees and shut his eyes as Chris kissed the self-inflicted marks one by one. When Chris looked up at him, he saw the pure need in the guitarist's eyes. Richard helped him take his jacket and shirt off. He ran his hands freely over Chris's body. Then he slid down between Chris's legs and unbuttoned his pants, he got his hard cock out and simply started kissing it, every inch of it. Chris grabbed him by the arms. "I want you here baby, sit in my lap."  
Before Richard could straddle him again, the drummer helped him take his boxers off. Suddenly Richard ran to the bedroom without a word. When he came back, he had a bottle of lube in his hand, it made Chris laugh light-heartedly. He handed the lube to Chris and straddled him again.  
"You do it." Chris gave him the bottle back. Richard's eyes glinted as he did what he was told. He looked down at Christoph with this lovesick stare. He couldn't believe he was gonna have Chris inside him after all this time. He positioned himself on the drummer's cock. "Don't close your eyes, I wanna watch them as you fall on me." Chris whispered and pulled his most erotic face as Richard slowly made Chris's member disappear inside him and let out a silent moan with his mouth open. His breath ghosted over Chris's face. He didn't move, he was just staring back into Chris's eyes.  
The drummer loved having Richard in his lap, his weight was grounding, his presence was comforting and the fact that he seemed taller than Chris like that, made the drummer love it even more.  
This time it was Richard's turn to hold Chris's face in his hands while the drummer was slowly moving his hands over Richard's hips and ass cheeks. They leaned into each other and finally their lips were connected. It was like a first kiss, only better. It was full of longing and need. Their tongues slowly tangled together. Richard started moving gradually, as relaxed as the kiss. He moaned into Chris's mouth. Chris held on his perfect hips as possessively as possible. He moved his hands on his ass cheeks and parted them. Richard whimpered quietly and clutched into the drummer's hair. When their lips parted, they only exchanged glances. Richard's eyes were half-lidded and his partly open mouth was shiny. He picked up the pace and licked his own lips then bit the lower on while exhaling loudly through his nose.  
No words were being exchanged, no words were needed. The touch and the eyes were speaking in their own language.  
Richard was now moaning beautifully with his mouth closed. It was the most exquisite sound in the world if anyone would ask Christoph. The guitarist placed his hands on Chris's knees behind him again, his body was slightly gradient and his head was pointed to the ceiling. He moved his hips expertly and moaned almost loud when Chris's hand was wrapped around his hard needy flesh and moved in sync with Richard's hips. They were both close to their finish lines so Richard leaned back in to be able to move harder and faster. He was now practically jumping up and down the length inside him. When he was on the edge and about to fall over it, he slowed down and looked for something into Chris's eyes. He explored the man with too much need in his eyes, it looked almost toxic. Chris knew exactly what he was looking for so he murmured "It's ok my beautiful boy, I'm not mad at you... you're allowed to cum, you can let go baby, I'm here." and with that Richard slammed his hips hard and fast while Chris was jerking him off. After a few thrusts they were both done and that was it, they became one again. Chris filled him up as the guitarist came hard between them with close mouth moans. Richard was about to pass out but in his last attempt he picked up his boxers to clean Chris's and his own chest and stomach which were covered with the younger man's release. Chris took the fabric from his hands and threw it on the floor. "Don't." He ordered softly. He gathered all the energy he had left, to hold Richard steady and lie on the couch. Richard whined in protest when he thought the drummer was about to pull out of him.  
"Shhhh... I'm not going out baby... I'll stay right inside you, it's ok." He lay on the couch with Richard on top of him, head buried in the drummer's neck and listening to him breathing through his nose. Chris had his arms wrapped around the small man's back. They were in complete peace. Richard had his eyes closed but he was awake, his lips were brushing over the skin of Chris's neck.  
The drummed had missed Richard's voice like crazy but he wanted him to use his words at his own wish.  
They were both drinking that day and the peacefulness of being together caught up with them and they both fell asleep tangled in each other. Christoph couldn't even bring himself to talk to Richard about how he got his address and location or what was the more important reason he was there. He just decided to put everything on hold and keep his precious love in his arms for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A long chapter as promised. I hope you guys find it satisfying.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't sleep last night writing this, so if you guys saw any typing errors, I hope you can forgive me oh... and by the way !!!SMUT!!! warning, a BIG huge warning sign. :D

Chris was wide awake with Richard completely out cold on top of him. He couldn't sleep, couldn't even close his eyes. He was just staring at the ceiling with one arm over his forehead and his other hand fondling Richard's hair. He kept thinking about everything that happened at home two days ago. When he found out where Richard was, there was no time for him to think about anything else, he just wanted to run to his beloved and be with him but now that Richard was safe and sound, he needed to keep him this way, therefore, Richard had to know everything. The events of two days ago when he was sitting at their apartment as drunk and dejected as he was during the past two months, replayed in his head.  
   
He was sitting on the couch in a tilted position wearing a pair of old jeans, keeping a bottle of bourbon in one hand and his cigarette in the other. The ashtray didn't have any space left so he was just putting his cigarettes out on the coffee table. The whole house was dark and smelled like alcohol, smoke, mould and masturbation. He had locked himself inside for God knows how long. He didn't know what day it was anymore. His mind was foggy all the time and the second he'd get the slightest bit of sobriety, everything would become Richard all over again. The torture of not having his sweetheart by his side would hunt him again. He didn't have the capacity for that so he'd just get drunk again and again. He wouldn't even let his friends help him, during the first few weeks they were with him and all of them were trying to help him but after a month Chris started pushing them away and didn't even open the door for them anymore.  
Somewhere from far away, he heard a knock on his door, his brain wasn't able to comprehend the sound correctly at first. When he did, he stayed still until the intruder leaves but they didn't, the annoying knocking only grew louder. "Paul I told you to FUCK OFF" He yelled towards the door. The knocking didn't subside.

"Christoph Schneider? Open the door, right now." It was an authoritative voice that Chris could not recognize.  
He stood up with difficulty while cursing, he staggered towards the door. He unlocked it and saw a man wearing a black suit in front of him. The man scrunched his face in disgust from the smell that intruded his sense of smell. He let out a breath before speaking. "Christoph Schneider?"

"He's not available at the moment, you can fuck off." He slurred. He was never one to be this rude to strangers but he wasn't in his right mind.

The man reached his pocket and showed Christoph a badge. "I'm agent Kellner from the Interpol. This is important Mr. Schneider."

Chris stared at his badge then at his face. "So they send the Interpol if you get a little tipsy in your own damn house?"  He stuttered. "I'd invite you in but I don't really want to, so..."

"This is about Richard Zven Kruspe. I believe he lives here."

Chris couldn't get sober any faster.

"What about him?" He moved from the door so the man could enter only to be more disgusted by what he saw and smelled. Nonetheless, he sat on one of the clean armchairs. "Give me a minute." Chris said before going to the bathroom and splashing cold water on his face. He slapped himself couple times in the face to get a little into his right mind then picked up a random shirt and wore it, leaving it unbuttoned. He sat back on the couch.  
"What about Richard? Tell me he's OK." He was in distress.

"He is. For now at least. We decided not to approach him directly just to avoid unnecessary panics."

"Where is he? What panic?" Chris's whole body was shaking.

"He's your partner Mr. Schneider, why don't you know where he is?"

"H-how do you know that?" The drummer was shocked.

"We're the international police, it's our job to know everything."

"Do you think you could stop being so 007-y and cryptic and fuckin tell me what the fuck is going on?"

He opened the file he had with him and gave Chris a large photo of a man. His smile in the photo send shivers of disgust down his spine. "Klaus Fischer aka the Scorpio. He was a torturer at Stasi for eight years."

"This... This is the mother fucker who hurt my Richard?" He took his head in his hands and stared into the man's eyes in the photo.

"So you know about it? What exactly do you know?"

"Richard had nightmares some nights. I'd hear him talking in his sleep, he told me most of what happened to him in his wake of course but the real shit would go down when he had nightmares. Then there was that fuckin night... "

"What night?"

"Two months ago he showed up. We were at a party, he lured Richard outside with the help of this other guy,,, Todd something. They... um... they tried to rape him but he managed to run away then I found him. Two days later... he left me to god knows where." He trailed off.

"New York."

"What?" Chris's eyes snapped.

"He's in New York. I believe it's best if you knew. We've been looking for this Scorpio for years now. He has a list of people who were assigned to him back at Stasi. He kept tracking some of them after the Stasi was disbanded. He found most of them and raped them, then killed them brutally. It took us some time to realize what all these people had in common. They were all homosexuals. Men and women. Closeted ones mostly, that's why it took us so long to find that connection. His actions are too organized to be only about him being a Homophobe, while it's a hate crime, we believe that he might be connected to an important neo-nazi organization which we've been looking for. His appearance here in Berlin over two months ago was the first we saw him on our radars after more than five years. We couldn't keep track of him but he might be in America now. We must find him Mr. Schneider, your partner along with eleven more people may be in danger." When he saw the utter shock on Chris's face, he continued speaking. "I know this is a lot to take in and we would have contacted you through your band's lawyers but the matter seemed too personal. We will arrange for you to fly to America as soon as possible. We thought it'd be best if Mr. Kruspe finds out about all this through a familiar face."

Chris cleared his throat and tried to gather his thoughts. "I'll go but if he's in danger why don't you place your men to watch him? Isn't it your job to protect people?" He raised his voice mid-sentence.

"We have done that but he doesn't need to know that, when people know they're being watched, their actions might tip off the felon. Especially someone as experienced as Fischer."  He answered calmly and got up from his place. "I will contact you first thing tomorrow with details about your flight. This is my card, call if needed. I'm always available." He handed Chris his card and left.

Chris was standing idoly in the middle of the living room. He looked around. 'I'm gonna see him'  Was his first thought. He felt butterflies in his stomach at the thought of looking into Richard's blue eyes again. 'He's in danger... I'll keep him safe.' 

He started cleaning up the apartment so it'd be ready for when he brings his beloved back home. Then he took a shower and called Till and told him that Richard had called and said where he was so he's now gonna fly there. The drummer left the matter of telling the truth to their friends or not, to Richard himself.

 

****

Chris stretched his arm over to the coffee table and took one of Richard's cigarettes and clumsily lit it with one hand so he wouldn't wake Richard. The guitarist stirred in his sleep and pushed his ass down so he'd get more of Chris inside him. He made a low sound as his action shot a stream of pleasure through the drummer and made him smile affectionately. That was one of the many things that the dominant had missed about Richard's needy habits. The younger man was slowly waking up with the smell of cigarette, he didn't pick his head up or open his eyes, just slowly kissed Chris's chest and after a few tender kisses, wrapped his lips around his nipple and delicately sucked on it.

"Look at my baby sucking my nipple. Daddy doesn't have any milk to feed you with, my little one." The drummer whispered with laughter in his voice. Richard silently laughed and moved his head to trail wet kisses on Chris's jaw and throat. "Little babies aren't this naughty, are they?" He exhaled through his nose. "Is my baby gonna say his first words to me? Daddy needs to hear his bunny's voice." He tried to make him talk but Richard only made more noises and rest his head under the drummer's throat. "God, I've missed the pretty little noises you make for me."

Richard purred for him again.

He picked his head up and slightly opened his lips at the direction of Chris's cigarette. The drummer smiled and took a long drag then gestured for Richard to get close to him, when he did, Chris connected their mouths and exhaled the smoke in his, then languidly kissed him.

"Baby I hate to ruin the moment, I really really do. But we need to talk sweetheart."  He whispered as tender as possible.

"I... I wrote you... us actually... a song." Richard murmured barely above a whisper.

Chris's eyes glinted happily at his voice. "Did you now?" He grinned. "Play it for me."

"Ok, but don't make fun of me." He said in his smallest tone.

"Aww baby I'd never do that." He crooned kindly.

Richard slowly got off him and whimpered as he suddenly felt the emptiness inside him. He picked his acoustic guitar from the corner of the room and sat down on the floor at Chris's feet. Chris watched the beautiful naked figure in front of him, hugging the guitar as his talented fingers started strumming on the strings playing the most melancholic rhythm. When Richard started singing, Chris's heart clenched at his beautiful voice with thick accent. He could die for him right there, but the words would definitely kill him sooner.

 

My sickness slips inside you  
Drowning in my poison  
Desperately I hide too from heaven  
Now we'll be together  
I can make you better  
Siphon your pain in me, so I bleed

Feed your dreams to fishes  
Lie about your wishes  
Eat away at your time, seconds are mine  
Sometimes it seems we're toxic  
Wake me up and shock it  
My low self-esteem  
Can make me scream

In my tears  
Don't let me drown  
My fears don't make a sound  
My tears  
Don't break me down  
In my tears  
Don't let me drown

It's only my psychosis  
Feeling thorns of roses  
Fill the void inside me  
So you see  
Feed me tranquilizers  
Calm the storm inside us  
It's so perverse to say  
That I'm blind

In my tears  
Don't let me drown  
My fears  
Don't make a sound  
My tears  
Don't break me down  
In my tears

About half way through the song Richard's voice cracked and tears fell on his guitar. When the song was over, Chris who was now completely in distress took his hands and picked him up in his lap, holding him tight.

"Baby you're not poison, you don't have a sickness. sweetheart... We're not toxic. You, Richard... you are my wish, you're my dream, you're my home. I don't wanna lose you, I can't lose you. When you left me, you took the oxygen out of my lungs with you... My sunshine I can't breath without you. I told you I would bleed for you, didn't I? Richard... hey look at me..." He took his head in his hands. Two pair of teary blue eyes staring into each other, their gaze seemed like it could make a hole into the other one's soul. "I will never let you drown. I told you I'd crawl back to you through the window if you'd kick me out of the door. My sweet love... we need each other too much but that doesn't make us toxic. Please don't think like that." He wiped Richard's tears as more rolled down on his beautiful face. He closed his eyes and silently sobbed. They were wrapped around each other again. Sobbing quietly. They held each other so tight, no one could say where each of them started and the other one ended. "I will become your tranquilizer, I will keep you safe from all your fears. Just be with me Richard. Just stay... be mine. please." Chris pleaded and held him as close as physically possible. For minutes the only sound was them sniffing and melancholicaly crying into each other's necks.

Richard pressed their foreheads together and swallowed hard before speaking between sobs. "I felt the walls closing in on me when I came here without you. I'm nothing without you, Chris. I realized that... that my whole existence belongs to you, every breath I took without you felt... felt stolen. They were yours and I was taking them. My heart... my soul... my body... they're all yours, I felt like a thief. I took what is yours. I tried to brand myself s-so maybe I'd become mine, but it didn't work...instead I became yours more and more every day. I wanted to mark my skin to remind myself everyday of... of what I did to us. To punish myself."

There was silence for minutes and it was only Chris having Richard sit in his lap while the drummer was caressing his damaged skin gently and kissing it tenderly.

"I thought about punishing you, you know?" He smirked bitterly. "I found joy in thinking about it, about how I'd make you pay for leaving me. You know how I,,, how I get when you disobey me. This time it wasn't just you disobeying me, you left me. I was always pretty strict about how our relationship works and I know that you understand it and you need it just as much as I do." Richard slightly nodded at his words with his head down, not looking at the dominant because he felt ashamed. Chris took his chin between his thumb and index finger and made him look up.  "You're the love of my life as much as you're my submissive. You're my prince as much as you're my slave. You're my peace and chaos at the same time. You can ignite the fire inside me just as you're the only one who can calm me down. You make me feel mad, happy, crazy and sad at the same time." Richard stared at him with deep regret in his eyes.

"I need to be all those things to you." Richard whispered desperately.

"I know, baby." He smiled and touched the smaller man's cheeks with the back of his fingers. Richard closed his eyes as he smiled and tilted his head to the touch. "And I know that sometimes I can be too hard on you but I need to have the unconditional power over you."

"You do have that and like you said, I need everything you give me" Richard opened his eyes, he was completely sure about his words.

"Good,,," He lightly kissed him again before adding "So now here's what we're gonna do. I'll take you to the shower then I'll feed you and then if you were a good boy maybe I'll treat you with lollipop and candy." He winked mischievously.

"Richard will be a good boy, I promise." The guitarist grinned happily and showed Christoph his white teeth. The trace of tears on his face mixed with his ear to ear grin had made him look like an actual delinquent child. The drummer laughed at his face and pulled him close for a passionate kiss.

"Can you keep the stubble for a while? Pretty pleeeeease." The guitarist pleaded eagerly when they parted.

"Why? The little pet likes it?" Chris mused and licked his lips.

"I doooo, it feels so good on my skin. Besides you look even more handsome like this." He said shyly and traced his fingers on Chris's stubble. He grinned and bit his bottom lip like a teenage girl.

"OK come on now, let's go to the shower and talk more about what you like on your skin." Chris laughed and nudged at Richard to get up, when he didn't, the drummer pinched his ass which made him jump right up and gasp. Before he could get a chance to complain, Chris landed a smack on his ass and he yelped.

"Fuckin walk Reesh, jeez" He said playfully and stood up.

"OK but I have a question first." Richard said as Chris stood behind him with his arms around the guitarist's waist and his chin on his shoulder. "Hmm?" 

"Are you mad at me?" The question came out bluntly. Chris sighed before answering.

"I was,,, very much. Dangerously actually. Then I saw you today... you looked so lost and unprotected wearing my clothes without me. All my anger was gone and I just wanted to make you feel safe. Actually, Tracy helped too."

"Huh? How do you know her?" Richard's eyes snapped. Chris turned the water on after they entered the small bathroom and began taking his jeans and boxers off.

"She found me in the bar across the street and talked to me."

"What did she say?"

"Doesn't matter baby. Come here." He said firmly and pull Richard close to him under the water.

"Tell me, Chris, come on....please." He added the last word when Chris raised an eyebrow at his tone.

Chris let out an irritated breath and pushed the wet hair off the guitarist's face. Richard definitely wasn't gonna let it go. "She talked about you and how you've been doing. That's it, now let it go." He said authoritatively and started littering the soap on Richard's skin. The smaller man fell silent and enjoyed being taken care of by his master again.

"I'm sorry about her." He whispered quietly and shyly after a few minutes.

"I know sunshine, but I get it. You needed it. It's alright. Don't worry about it." He was now soaping Richard's back.

"Did you... did you do... uhm... with someone..."

"No baby boy I didn't fuck anyone. You can stop choking on your words." Chris cut his words and laughed at his stuttering.

Richard let out a relieved sigh and rested his forehead against the tiled wall while Chris was washing his back.

"You've lost so much weight I can touch your spine. I gotta take care of you, baby." Chris cooed like a worried mother and traced his finger on Richard's spinal column.

"You know? Having sex with your submissive has proven to be the best way of keeping both your bodies healthy." The guitarist mused cutely.

"Is that so little slut? What about suspending him from the ceiling by his wrists and fucking him so hard that he'd black out?" He whispered teasingly in Richard's ear and bit his earlobe.

Richard let out a silent moan as Chris pressed himself on his back and squeezed his ass cheeks in his hands. "That would be perfect for him." He whispered and moved his hands from the wall and clutched into Chris's hips and pushed his ass further into his body and laid his head on his shoulder. The drummer slowly and teasingly wrapped his hand around Richard's needy flesh and began stroking it as his other hand was caressing his upper body and he was marking his neck and shoulder with hickies. Richard moaned silently. His eyes were closed when Chris moved his head to kiss the corner of his mouth and lick the water drops off his cheeks and jaw.

"Master... ffffuck..." He moaned loudly as Chris massaged his balls. His voice echoed through the bathroom.

"Shhhhh... don't make a sound." Chris muttered in his ear and bit the soft skin under there. Richard moaned with his mouth closed and bit his lips so he could stop the scream of pleasure escaping his mouth when the dominant kneaded his nipples between his fingers and moved his other hand faster. The submissive rested both his hands on the wall and bit his own arm, it made his moans muffled. Chris moved his head slightly forward so he could kiss and bite Richard's back. He felt his submissive on edge, "Turn around"  Richard immediately complied. He gripped the hair at the back of Richard's head almost too harshly and attacked his mouth in the same manner. "You won't cum until I'm done kissing you." He commanded.

"Yes sir." He breathed out and the dominant began kissing him roughly again and gripped his hair even harder, it stung delightfully. Richard moaned into the kiss as his lips were being sucked and bitten. He couldn't hold his release any longer and Chris was perfectly aware of that, he just loved making his pet into a moaning mess. He swirled his tongue inside the hot mouth one more time before stroking Richard in a mad pace and making him wail.  
"Shhhhh you're amazing baby, come for me little boy,,, that's it." He whispered and Richard let go instantly, he came all over Chris's hand and felt dizzy. He gave Chris all he got, the pleasure that streamed through his body was overwhelming, he felt the world spinning around him as all his energy left his body and landed into Chris's hand. He rested his head against the wall and closed his eyes trying to savor his super intense orgasm. The dominant held him and tenderly kissed him. "Lean on me baby, it's ok, I've got you. You were amazing." Richard made a small sound and hid his face in the crook of Chris's neck. "I've trained my little pet so good, didn't I? You definitely deserve a 1+ for how you controlled your orgasm."  Richard only nuzzled his head in the master's neck and purred for him which made the drummer completely smitten with him.  
After the shower Chris laid Richard on the bed and sat next to him, kissed his forehead and played with his damp hair until he fell asleep completely exhausted. He pulled the blanket over him and left another small kiss on his temple before wearing his jeans and leaving the bedroom for the kitchen.  
He looked into the fridge and cabinets to find something so he could make some food. The nagging sound of his inner thoughts was still in his head, bothering him. He had to talk to Richard but it just seemed impossible. Knowing his boyfriend he was sure that he'd only act in denial and everything would be more bottled up inside him, besides Chris himself had zero desire to stop the course of touching and cuddling and lovemaking that they had all day.  
He was still worried something might happen to Richard. The situation he found Richard in just that day, had made the drummer realize how much the smaller man actually needs him. He always knew about the huge amount that he, himself, needed Richard in his life but he's never seen the other man this messed up.

After about an hour of over thinking and cooking, he turned around to see Richard standing there looking impossibly cute and delicious with his messy hair, drowsy eyes, swollen lips and his skin decorated with small purple marks and he was only wearing Chris's boxers.

"Look at you with your new set of hickies." Chris snickered and walked over to him and watched as the smaller man slightly blushed and raised his hand touching his hickies with a shy smile. He snuggled to the drummer and gently kissed his throat.

"Slept well, cutey?"

The guitarist hummed and pouted as he spoke like a bratty child "You didn't cuddle with me."

"I came here to make dinner for my baby so I could feed him when he wakes up." The drummer kissed his hair.

"Smells good, what is it?" He stood on his tiptoes to look over Chris's shoulder.

"No peeking, go sit down. I'll be there soon, go on." He nudged Richard out of the kitchen.

"Hey it's my apartment, you can't kick me out of my own kitchen." He protested while laughing.

"It's my own Richard. I can do whatever I want with him and I want to kick him out of his own kitchen. Any other arguments?" He raised an eyebrow at the other man. Richard scrunched his nose and made a face at him in defeat which made Chris chuckle.

He put the chicken and fries in a plate with some salad and went to sit on the couch with Richard. He beckoned for him to sit in his lap, the guitarist complied happily. He put the plate on Richard's lap and began feeding him while having some for himself.

"It's delicious, thank you, Chris." He said and kissed his cheeks. "I missed your cooking." He added sweetly.

"I missed feeding you." Chris smiled somewhat sadly and pushed the stray hair off Richard's face.

"Why are you so kind and generous to me?" He questioned with a smile and fondled Chris's hair.

"You're the most important thing in my life, you're mine. People tend to be that way with their most precious belongings." He gave Richard a sweet half smile and kissed both his hands, finger by finger. Richard was astonished, he stared at his beautiful master and tried to keep his heart from jumping out of his chest. Chris laced their fingers together and looked up at him with glassy eyes then wrapped his other arm around Richard's waist pressing his temple to the guitarist's chest. "Christoph?" He called with a small voice. The drummer hummed sweetly and kissed the cigarette burns on his skin.  
"I'm in love with you so fuckin much." Richard wasn't one to say that a lot but the few times he said it to Chris, he meant it with every cell in his body and at that moment he sounded his most sincere and ardent. Chris only smiled and brushed his lips over his skin again. They stayed like that for minutes, thinking about each other.  
   
"What is it?" Chris asked softly when he heard Richard sighing dramatically.

"I've missed my collar." His statement made the drummer snort and chuckle. He looked up at Richard. "Don't worry little bunny, I'll get you on a leash soon enough. Just let us get back home and I've got plans for you." He grinned wickedly. Richard bit his lips with a mischievous smile.

"That reminds me, I need to talk to you, Richard." He said with a more serious tone.

"No no, you don't. Please Chris, please don't ruin it." He pleaded. He couldn't handle any kind of serious talk, he just wanted to stay cuddled up to the dominant and not even think about the dreadful shit in his head. Christoph was perfectly aware of how his mind worked but the thing was that he had to do that. Richard had to know.

"Baby I know, just listen, NO Richard, for fucks sake. Listen," He hissed when Richard opened his mouth to protest again. When he was shut up, Chris continued. "I'll make you a deal, we'll talk for an hour. Only an hour, then we'll do whatever it is that you want. You promised you'd behave, didn't you? So just... please. Ok?"

When Richard stayed quiet for almost a minute, Chris sighed and held his hand in both his and kissed it. "Baby I hate breaking our bubble more than you do, believe me sweetheart, I do, but I have to. So can you please help me and make it a little easier for the both of us?"  
Richard looked at him with doe eyes for a moment, then he only nodded and crawled out of Chris's lap to sit at the other end of the couch. He lit up a cigarette and pulled his knees to his chest and looked at Chris. "All ears." He whispered.

Chris began speaking, he told him most of what agent Kellner had said and watched as Richard's expression went from a complete zero to a full on freaked out one. When he saw Richard's reaction, he held his arms out for him and the smaller man crawled into his embrace like a small unprotected child afraid of the thunder "Baby I promise you, I'll keep you safe sweetheart. I'll die before I Iet anything happens to you again. Just don't leave my side so I can protect you." At this point, Richard was shaking in his arms.

"He used to call me filthy, was that because he knew I was-I was... am I filthy Chris?" He weeped. His small voice was killing the dominant.

"You're not filthy baby, you're perfect. You're my precious boy. You're beautiful in every way possible. Everything about you is lovely..... baby please... talk to me,,, "

"What if he touches me again? What if he gets his...himself on me again... I can't... I can't.." He sobbed into Chris's chest.

"He won't baby boy, he can't... no one can mess with my prince. No one, Richard. Besides... I'll protect you with everything I have." He murmured softly and held him tighter.

"I'm safe with you." It almost sounded like he was trying to reassure himself.

"You are, my love." They fell silent for minutes, the only sound was Richard's agitated breathing. He suddenly slipped himself out of the drummer's arms and kneeled between his legs staring up at him with too much need in his eyes.  
"Master, was I a good boy? Did I behave like I was supposed to?" He blinked.

"You did, baby. You were the best." He fondled Richard's hair.

"Now can I have what you promised earlier? Please." He glanced at the master's crotch then back into his eyes.

"Baby you need to talk to me. You can say anything you want and stay in my arms. Why do you want to do this?" He knew exactly why, Richard was always like that. He never wanted to think or talk about the shit going on in his head. He only wanted physical intimacy. The more messed up he was, the more he needed to be dominated and played rough with by Chris. He would even submit his brain to Christoph if he could.

"I will do as you command, master. You're the one who knows what's best for me." He was looking down. Chris considered him for a moment, he was right, the dominant always did know what he needed. He sighed and began unbuttoning his jeans. "Go and fetch me a belt, I want you to crawl back here to me"  
   
Richard got up on his feet and did as he was told. He slowly crawled back to the master on all fours with the belt between his teeth. He nuzzled his head to Chris's inner thighs and purred. "Good little pet you are." He fondled Richard's head and took the belt out of his mouth. "Turn around." When he did, Chris tied his arms behind his back. He yanked on his hair and tilted his head firmly to the side and Richard yelped. The dominant bent his head near his ear and bit and sucked harshly at his neck, Richard moaned loudly. He jerked the submissive's head backward and roughly kissed him then he made him turn back around. He took his own member in his hand and looked at the lustful stare in Richard's eyes. "Do you want it?"  Richard hummed and licked his lips and parted them. "Show me your tongue." Richard stuck his tongue out and looked at Chris through half lidded eyes. The dominant gripped his hair again and moved his own head forward so he was looking at him directly from the above. He slowly spat on Richard's tongue then lay back again and forced his head on his cock, Richard wrapped his lips around him and sucked as his head was being forcefully moved up and down by the dominant clutching into his hair.  
Chris made his actions harsher by the minute. He could hear the other man getting choked, tears pricked his eyes cuz of the pressure. When Chris felt the other man couldn't breathe anymore, he lifted his head by his hair roughly and looked at him. He was gasping loudly for air, his chest going up and down madly, his eyes were rolled back, his open mouth was sloppy with spit. "Breathe." Chris commanded and growled then repeated his previous action and forced Richard's head down again. He swallowed around Chris as the cock hit the back of his throat over and over again. He moaned and whimpered loudly. This time, Chris moved his head even more ruthlessly. When the dominant forced Richard's head backward again, the submissive panted loudly and coughed. Strings of spit were hanging from his lips and one of them stretched and dripped on his chest. His cheeks and chin were wet with his mix of tears and spit. He looked beautiful like that, it made Chris tilt his head and lick over his chin. "Is this what you want?" He growled in his ear and wrapped his other hand around the man's throat and squeezed.  
"Y-Yehh..." He barely choked the word out between his panting. His lungs were begging for air. Chris let go of his hair and slapped him hard in his wet face. "I didn't hear you, slut." He loosened his grip on his throat a little. "Yes Master." He yelped as he was served with the second hard slap. Chris was losing his own control in the pleasure he was receiving, he loved doing all this to Richard but also tried to reason with himself. 'This is for him.' But the drummer still couldn't stop himself from animalistically enjoying this, so he decided to just let go, maybe they both needed it.  
He shoved his middle and index fingers into Richard's mouth and did as before. "Suck" He snarled. Richard compiled, seconds passed and Chris hooked his fingers into the submissive's mouth and spat into it again. Then he extracted his fingers and gripped his jaw harshly, crumpling it. He started kissing him ruthlessly, licking on his tongue and into his mouth. Richard shivered and moaned into the kiss as Chris bit his bottom lip harshly and tugged it and sucked the blood he drew. He sneaked his hands behind Richard, untying the belt, he broke the kiss and wrapped the belt tightly around Richard's neck while he was panting. He used the other end of the belt as a leash and yanked on it making Richard stand up on his wobbly legs. "Get up." He hissed. "Take them off." He pointed with his head to his own boxers worn by Richard. The man complied, he let out a small noise as he bent down to take the boxers off. His pretty cock was painfully hard, he handed the underwear to Chris. "Master."

"Sheeee... you take your orders so well, pretty whore....my whore." He whispered against Richard's lips as he yanked on the belt again. He made his pet kneel on the couch and stood behind him. Richard was faced to the top frame of the couch, he rested his arms over it and spread his knees further apart. The dominant gripped the leash and jerked it back as he landed the first hard smack on Richard's ass cheek, making him gasp loudly in pleasure. "M-Master please do that again, please..." He was shut up with the next one harder than before. "Did I say you were allowed to talk? Pets don't talk, they only take what their owner gives them, so shut up and take it." He almost yelled and spanked him again. He kept doing that until Richard was a panting mess and his ass was colored almost red. Chris picked up the discarded bottle of lube from that morning and coated himself with lots of it, then he pushed Richard's lower back down, forcing his ass up. "You're too horny to need preparation, I fuckin love it." His tone was wicked. He shoved his cock inside the tight hole with one hard move and it made Richard scream and scratch the fabric of the couch with his nails. Chris panted in pleasure and started moving, hard and fast. Hitting the sweet spot deep inside Richard over and over again making him wail, he spread his knees further and bit at his own forearm to stop screaming and making the master mad. "That's it, slut,, keep quiet..." He kept thrusting hard and fast until they both were on edge. Chris slipped his hands between Richard's legs and started stroking him. He stayed motionless deep inside Richard and only jerked him off. The smaller man's whole body was shaking and he moaned with his mouth closed. He bit his arms again and wasn't able to hold his orgasm any longer. He was squirming in sheer lust and need. "Come for me, little pet." Richard let go and moaned uncontrollably while releasing all he had. Chris captured almost all of the white thick liquid in his right palm then raised his hand and put it over Richard's mouth. He started licking and drinking the liquid, Chris began thrusting inside him again and rubbed his palm over Richard's face, making it dirtier.  
When he felt his precum, he pulled out and yanked on the leash making Richard sit on the couch in a tilted position, he towered over him and put his thumb over the submissive's lips, playing with it. Richard's mouth fell open at his touch and he glanced at Chris's cock and breathed in and out softly. Chris had a feral smile, he raised one eyebrow at him. "It's ok, you can suck me off. Make me cum." Richard got him down his throat and sucked him while staring up at him, his eyes reflected pure need and appreciation, it was the most beautiful sight ever. Chris unrestrained the belt as he felt he was near his release. He gripped in Richard's hair and thrusted in his throat. The dominant hissed from between his teeth when Richard swallowed around him. One last time and he was done, he pulled out slightly to be able to watch his release dripping on Richard's tongue. "You're my cum loving little boy, aren't you?"  He whispered and Richard purred and nodded as he swallowed all of it. "Yes you are." He smiled at his beautiful dirty face and held his hands out to him and kissed his mouth and face after he was stood up. He took him to the bathroom. "Wash your face, baby." Richard did as he was told and drank some water as well.

"Do you need to pee, gorgeous?" He asked softly and put his hands on Richard's bruised shoulder. He shook his head. "Ok then, go lie down and I'll be there in a moment." Richard nodded and left the bathroom.

Chris went back in the room after a minute and saw Richard laying down on his stomach, staring at the bathroom door, waiting. He smiled at his drowsy eyes and nestled under the blanket, cuddling Richard tightly.

"How are you feeling baby?"  Richard only curled closer to him and purred.

"Let me hear your words, pretty." He cooed and kissed his temple.

"Better, thanks to you." His voice came out quiet and hoarse. Chris let out a soft laugh. "I love it when you thank me for fucking you, my polite gorgeous boy you are." He held Richard's hand that was resting on his chest and kissed it lightly. Richard blushed and hid his face in the drummer's neck in embarrassment.

"You're the sweetest most amazing and obedient little pet anyone could ever have." He murmured in his most loving tone.

"Am I?" He sounded so broken and insecure, it made Chris turn to face him. He had tear in his eyes.

"Baby boy,,, of course you are. You're my beautiful fluffy bunny,,, hey..." He smiled sweetly and kissed his lips, Richard closed his eyes and reveled to the kiss. He let out a shaky sigh in Chris's mouth.

"Tell me I'm yours, master." He pleaded like a lost child.

"You're mine, every inch of you belongs to me, my little prince." He said and kissed his face and lips again.

Richard pushed in his chest until he was laying on his back, then curled as close to him as possible and threw his leg between Chris's legs. "Sleep my love, I'm here, I'll keep you safe." He whispered and left another kiss on Richard's head. He purred again and brushed a fleeting kiss on Chris's chest before closing his eyes and falling asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warned you about the smut, didn't I? :D  
> The next chapter will probably be the last one, I finally know what I'm gonna do, I'm just not sure how to do it yet.  
> Let me know what you think about this chapter.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to divide the last chapter into two separate ones cuz otherwise it'd be too long and a little irrelevant. So the finale will be ready in a couple days. This chapter was really difficult to write. I tried to do a bit of a research before writing it so it wouldn't sound too unreal and stupid.

It was so rare for Richard to wake up before Christoph does, but that morning it just occurred. He was laying on his side staring at his beautiful master so peacefully asleep. He was lying on his back, breathing in and out ever so softly through his nose. His lips were parted and his chest was going up and down so slowly. The blanket was only covering his lower body. His semi-long curly hair were so beautifully shed on the pillows and his stubble had made him look so darkly handsome. He slightly stirred in his sleep, Richard smiled and moved himself a little closer to him and propped himself up on his elbow. "You're staring." Chris mumbled with his eyes closed and a lazy smile.   
"You're stunning." Richard whispered.   
The drummer reached with his hand blindly and searched for Richard. "Come here."   
Richard went willingly and snuggled to him with his head hidden in the dominant's neck. "How you feeling?" He murmured to the smaller man. 

"My throat hurts." The guitarist said with a low voice. Since he woke up that day, his throat was burning like hell, the effects of the dominant's wild actions from last night were showing. Chris turned to face him. He had a mischievous grin on his face. 

"I love it when your body is sore cuz I was in it. Should remind you of who owns you every moment of the day." 

"It doesn't hurt that much, maybe you should remind me of that yourself." He teased and brushed his lips over Chris's stubbly jaw. 

"You're greedy, baby." He said with a sharp grin and laughed as Richard rolled on top of him. The smaller man straddled him and laced their fingers together, pinning both their hands on the sides of Chris's head and looked down at him. "Look who's in charge" 

The drummer raised his eyebrows with a daring smile. "Oh really? Do you wanna be in charge?"  

"Can I spank you if you're a bad master?" He said playfully. He looked like a misbehaving child who sat behind the wheels of his father's car without permission. Happy and proud. 

"Am I a bad master?" He dared again. 

"Nooooo, my master is the best." He said with his hoarse voice but a childish tone. "Can I... can I kiss you now?" No matter how mischief he was, he still wouldn't dare to do anything without permission. 

"No." He said and pushed his body up, flipping them over to put Richard in his place. He pinned the cheeky submissive's hands above his head. "Cuz I... am gonna kiss you." He dived in and started kissing him, Richard who was still in his playful mode, tried to shove his tongue inside Chris's mouth to dominate the kiss and the drummer decided to let him and see what happens, he even let go of Richard's wrists. Richard whimpered and pulled his head back staring up at Chris. Shocked. "Why did you do that?" He swallowed. 

"Do what?" 

"You let me,,, why did you let me do that? You never let me do that." He was panicking. 

"Just did, you still haven't answered me Richard. Do you want to be in charge?" 

Richard looked terrified. Scared. "What? N-no I don't, I can't, I was just teasing you, no I don't wanna be in charge, how can you ask me that? H-how..."  All blood had left his face, he was pale.   
Chris got off him and sat next to him leaning on the head board. Richard jumped up staring at him. 

"Come here." The drummer pulled him close by his arms and made him sit between his legs and lean his side to the drummer's chest, then held the shaking body tight. "Baby I was just messing with you, it's ok. Shhh... hey..." 

Richard shoved his face in the drummer's chest. "You can't mess with me like this. D-don't ever do that again. Please."

"I knew what you were doing baby, I thought why not let you and see what happens."  He smiled and kissed Richard's head. His baby was so small and scared all curled up in his arms like that. 

"You knew I'd react this way." He sniffed. 

"Of course I did, I know my own baby." He held Richard tighter. He mewled and clung to the dominant. "You learned your lesson tho, didn't you?" Chris asked. 

Richard only nodded. "Your words, bunny. I need your words." He held the smaller man's shoulders and pushed him into the mattress, towering over him. He held his weight on his hands on the sides of Richard's head as the guitarist gripped his master's wrists and held on, staring up at him with his big blue doe eyes. "Yes Master, I'm sorry." 

"It's ok angel, now you know." He leaned and kissed Richard's forehead then looked down at him with a loving smile.   
"You're my good little bunny boy." 

"I'm your good little bunny boy." He repeated in his sweetest, most bratty tone and bit his bottom lip with a mischievous smile and hummed. 

"You're my cum loving pretty princess." Chris had a daring look in his eyes. 

"I'm your cum loving pretty princess." He blushed deeper with each word but picked on the challenge and scrunched his nose cutely at Chris like he'd won a bet. 

"You're my horny little slut." Chris couldn't grin more devilishly at his beloved blushing so hard like a maiden but nonetheless he still had that cheeky glint in his eyes. 

"I'm your horny little slut." He put stress on the last word and stuck his tongue behind his upper teeth for pronouncing letters L and T. 

Chris chuckled and started kissing him hungrily. Richard moaned as the dominant deepened the kiss and pushed his tongue inside his submissive's mouth. He reveled into it and pulled his arms up clutching on the head board like a good little submissive. "I love you." Chris slowly broke the kiss and crooned against the other man's lips. 

"You love me." Richard whispered and it made Chris snicker as he started nipping at the other man's already bruised neck. "Smart ass." He said in his ear and bit his soft earlobe. Richard giggled adorably.   
"I love that sound, do that again." Chris ordered playfully. 

"Well it doesn't work like that, I can't gi-" Chris cut him off and started tickling him which made him giggle loud as he wiggled and squirmed under the dominant.   
"Nooo pleeeese... " He tried to swat Chris's hands while giggling and screaming as his voice went hoarse and he coughed. His whole body was flushed, Chris stopped and pinned his hands above his head again. "Did you just swat my hands?" He raised his eyebrows. 

"Woke the beast, didn't I?" He was panting then bit his bottom lip and pushed his hips up slightly so their now erected members could touch each other. Chris let out a breath and closed his eyes for a moment to get himself under control. "You're gonna get it later, little bitch." He had a predatory smile. The drummer mustered all his power and got off the needy body.   
"Nooooo, don't go, please. Do something to me now, I've been baaad." He whined like the little brat he was then flipped over and wiggled and shook his ass for the dominant. Chris snorted at his cute action and smacked his ass with full force which made the smaller man gasp and yelp with the sharp pain. "I said later, I can't have you worn out today. We've got a long day, get up." He said firmly and got up from the bed. Richard was on his back again, still horny and playful. He spread his legs and stretched his naked body and whined again. "Spiel mit mir, Meister. Bitte."   
Chris couldn't stop looking at him all sprawled out and sweet only for him. Saying no to his little boy when he was this needy, was probably the most difficult task for Christoph, especially when he, himself, needed the guitarist too much. "Don't Reesh, not today. You know I'd play with you all day long, but I told you baby, we've got shit to deal with. Go take a shower while I make breakfast." He held his hand out for Richard. He whined and took the helping hand and got up. "What shit?" He asked as he stood up looking hurtfully at the drummer who was now getting dressed. 

"You've signed a lease for this place, right?"

Richard nodded. 

"For how long?"

"Three months, why?"

"Call the landlord, tell him you'll leave by tomorrow, then I'll help you pack. I'm taking you home sweety."

Richard smiled happily. "Yes sir." He saluted at Christoph and it made the drummer laugh and shake his head. 

"Good baby. Now go take a shower, I think I should go out and get some coffee. I checked yesterday. It's ran out, do you need anything?" 

"You -  in the shower - with me?" He said hopefully. 

Chris chuckled and nudged him in the bathroom after kissing him couple times. "Go. I'll be back soon. And no jerking off. Understood?"

"Yeah." He rolled his eyes and hummed lazily. 

"What was that now?" Chris stopped in his tracks, he had his scary tone on again. 

"Yes Master, I won't jerk off." Richard answered firmly but quietly. 

"Good boy."

The drummer left the apartment, still smiling at the thought of Richard's heart-warming actions. He couldn't wait to take his sweet boy back home and take care of him 24/7, especially now that Richard was in this state of insecurity and needed all the attention he could get. The image of his sweetheart in the shower flashed in his head and he twitched in his pants. "Concentrate Schneider." He scolded himself. 

After buying two cups of coffees when he was crossing the street, he saw a black van in front the apartment with its door slid open. The last thing he heard was a familiar scream from the inside of the vehicle and the door slid close then the van began moving with the deafening sound of the tires scrapping on the asphalt. The cups fell off his hands and he ran after the van with his full speed. All his brain could comprehend at that moment was running and trying to read the plate. At some point he couldn't run anymore and the van was way out of reach, he went back to the apartment as fast as possible and looked for agent Kellner's card in his backpack and dialed the number, his lungs were burning and  fighting to get some air. He coughed uncontrollaby. 

"This is Kelln-"

"They took him, you said your people were watching him, I leave for five fuckin minutes and-"

"I'm on my way." He hung up. Christoph hurled the phone across the room "FUCK"   
He paced around the room for fifteen minutes, the only thing he did was writing the plate number on a piece of paper.   
He heard the knock on the door, he opened it and glared angrily at the agent. 

"What happened?" 

"You tell me, you said he was being watched, I saw a van and they took him. I could only read the plate."

"Give me the number, we'll track it. If we're lucky they won't switch their vehicle."

"Luck? The inter-fuckin-pol leaves things to luck? Are you fucking with me?" He was practically screaming, his face had turned dark red. 

"You need to calm down, Mr sch-"  
He was silenced when Chris gripped the collar of his shirt and shoved him to the wall behind him. 

"Don't you dare tell me to calm the fuck down, I swear to God if something happens to him, I'll fuckin kill you." He spat. 

"I've had people watching him but exactly at the time that it happened, my men were switching their shifts. No one saw that. They were only absent for like three minutes. We'll find him. Just give me the plate number and stop threatening me." He shoved Christoph off himself and fixed his tie and collar. 

Chris handed him the piece of paper. "What was the vehicle?" The agent asked as he reached his pocket to get his phone. 

"A black van."

He called his office and gave them the information to track. 

"Look I get it, ok? We'll find him. We have all the necessary assets and the fact that you could get the car plate number is gonna help speed up the process. Can you tell me what happened?"

"I went out to get coffee and he went to take a shower. I saw the van parked in front of the apartment and heard him screaming from inside it, then the van drove off." Chris said and walked towards the bedroom to check the bathroom, the agent followed him. 

"No..." The tiled wall of the bathroom was covered with blood and a towel was discarded on the floor. Chris picked the towel and leaned on the wall. 

Kellner's phone rang and he went in the bedroom to pick it up. "Kellner."

"WHAT?" He yelled. Chris jumped out of the shower. 

"Which one?"

"Did you ran the plate number I gave you?" 

"I don't care if you found a hundred. Check all of them. We won't make any move till we're sure the hostages are fine."  He hung up and turned to face a pale Christoph who was barely holding up. 

"Another person was abducted in New York. A woman, she was on the list too. My team has found four potential places that they might be keeping the hostages in. I gotta go back. I'll update you with any news." 

"Fuck that, I'm coming with you." Chris growled. 

"I'm sorry Mr. Schneider, I know you're worried, you're an army man or used to be, you know how things work. I can't let you in our base. I will keep you updated and when we found the actual place, then you'll come. You'll be needed there." He left when Chris refused to say anything else. 

He stood idoly in the middle of the room, looking around. It was less than an hour ago when he was with Richard at that very same spot. He sat on the bed and took his head in his hands. This never ending nightmare was driving him crazy. He had promised he'd keep Richard safe but failed so badly. He couldn't stop blaming himself for leaving the apartment. What if something horrible happens to him now? Richard wasn't weak at all, but there were certain things that he couldn't possibly handle, mostly cuz of his terrible past. He's been through so much, more than anyone Chris knew. The guitarist had grew to be too stubborn and in denial about his feelings and mental obstacles, he always refused to have deep talks. The only one he ever opened up to, was Christoph and even Christoph sometimes had to practically beg him to talk to him or promise him something he wanted, just like he did yesterday.   
The last two months were enough of a torture for the both of them, Chris couldn't fathom losing him again. Life for him without Richard had proven to turn him into a dead corps walking around. The nature of the kind of relationship they had, had made them too much attached and dependant to each other. Physically and emotionally there was really nothing else that could satisfy them. All their needs were summed up in each other. Richard needed to lose himself in what Chris wanted from him and did to him, to obey him and give up his control to him and in return, Christoph needed all the submission and yield that he could get from the other man. The unexplainable amount of love they had towards one another had somehow made them into two perfect pieces of a broken glass, completely fitting together. 

"Please let him be safe,,, I can't be without him." At this point he didn't even know who he was begging. 

He spent another couple of hours waiting and thinking while smoking one after the other. He tried to distract himself by cleaning the blood off the bathroom wall and that made him feel even worse if that was possible. In the afternoon when he couldn't bare waiting anymore, he picked the phone to call Kellner but the phone suddenly rang, he pushed the button only to hear the man himself. 

"We found the place, my team's already dispatched. I'll pick you up in three minutes." And hung up. 

Three minutes later Chris was sitting in the car with him. 

"Is he ok?" Was all he wanted to know. 

"They have them in an old warehouse. For all we know they're ok. Physically. Stasi is no joke, they trained their people to not be people anymore. There's nothing humane about them. The damage they can cause to a person's psychic is-"

"I'm perfectly aware of the damage, thank you very much." Chris cut the man's word off and couldn't help but being sarcastic. 

Kellner sighed and didn't say anything else. They drove outside of the city for over an hour till they reached an abandoned burned wheat farm. There were police cars and trucks and an ambulance around the warehouse. The second they arrived a man wearing special force uniform holding an AK-47 approached them. 

"Sir they just surrendered, the hostages are fine, we're extracting them but there's a problem."

"What problem?" Chris went pale and almost yelled before Kellner could get a chance. 

"We had Fischer restrained and we were getting him out, when one of the hostages, the man, drew Grayson's gun out of its case and now has it on Fischer's head. We can't get through with him." 

"Can you?" Kellner asked Christoph. He didn't say anything, just ran to the warehouse and entered after Kellner signaled at his men by the door. 

There were five special forces surrounding the scene. There was the man that Chris only saw in a photo couple days ago, he was lying on his back with his hands cuffed behind him. And there he was,,, His beloved, sitting on Fischer's chest, pinning the gun on his forehead. He looked terrified, his eyes were wide and his lips were parted as his breath was coming out rugged. There was a thick trace of blood mixed with dirt from his forehead down to his cheek. 

"Richard." Chris called sternly. He had to use all his power over Richard to stop him from doing that. 

Richard looked up and when he saw Chris, the look of fear didn't go away, he couldn't believe that Chris was there. Just stared at him with the same look. 

"Get up and give me the gun." He ordered and motioned at him with his fingers. 

"I ca... I can't... I have to end it." He stammered and pushed the gun harder. The man under him put a sick smile on his face when Richard stared back into his eyes. 

"No you have to come home with me, that's what you have to do. Richard look at me." He commanded more sternly. 

"Please don't make me stop, please don't. You know I'd obey you in a heart beat but I... I can't. He broke me. He caused me to leave my country, my family, I was a kid. He drove me off from my land all those years ago... and he did it again... this time it was more unforgivable c-cuz... It cost me you, Chris..." His tears were falling on Scorpio's face. The sight flipped him and he hit in the man's face with the stock of the gun and screamed. Blood spouted from the man's nose as his face scrunched in pain. 

"I'm here Richard, baby nothing can make me leave you, nothing in the world could possibly cost you me, but if you do this, if you pull that trigger, that's it for us. That won't solve anything." Chris got one step closer to him. "He doesn't deserve to live, he deserves the worst... but you Reesh,,, you can't be the one who has this piece of shit's blood on his hands. You're an angel, you're my angel... remember? Please Richard don't do this to yourself, it'll haunt you forever, you deserve better, please don't destroy us." He pleaded. 

"I'm broken,,, I'm nothing, Chris. ,,, if I end him maybe I can be me again." He almost whispered to himself and swallowed. 

"I'm here to pull you back together, Richard you're not alone. I don't care how broken, I'll always be there for you. I love you. Richard don't do this, don't betray us... Please." Three more steps, then he kneeled next to Richard. He slowly dared to move his hand and put it over Richard's grip on the gun. Richard remained motionless staring in Chris's eyes. The forces tightened their circle around them to be able to act if necessary. Chris moved his other hand and slowly took the gun from Richard's grip, he let go, unwillingly. Chris put the gun on the ground and slid it over. "I've got you, love. It's ok. You can get up." Richard got up and gave his last disgusted look to the man lying on the ground. 

"I knew you didn't have the guts in you, you little faggot." Scorpio whispered with a scratchy voice and that was it for Christoph. He gathered all his energy and kicked him square in his face. The kick was so hard that it made the man roll over after three of his teeth jumped out of his mouth along with a good amount of blood. He wailed in pain and was picked up harshly by the agents around them. 

"Here, wear this sweetheart, you're shivering." Chris took his jacket off and wrapped it around Richard.   
The paramedic was waiting for them, he helped take Richard to the ambulance. He checked Richard for injuries and asked him if there was any other than the one on his head. Richard just shook his head, then the medic cleaned the wound on his forehead. Richard hissed with pain and squeezed Chris's hand in his. 

"I'm gonna give you a sedative, take them again at home if you were in pain. You should be fine." Richard took the pill and the medic handed the bottle to Christoph. 

They were placed in one of the police cars to take them back to the apartment. Chris helped Richard get in the car, before himself. Richard was out cold in his arms when Kellner poked his head in the car from the window. 

"That was a nice kick." The man said.  
Chris chuckled softly. 

"What will happen to him?" 

"Oh you don't wanna know. After we're done with him, he's gonna wish he was killed today." He sighed. "You handled him pretty good, I give you that." He motioned toward Richard with his head. 

"Handling him is my job." Chris left a soft kiss on Richard's head. 

"Take him back home then. See you around, I guess." 

"I hope not." 

The agent snickered and shook his head, then they said their goodbyes and the car moved. When they arrived at the apartment, Chris helped Richard and laid him in bed. 

"Sweety let me take these off you, then go back to sleep." He said softly but Richard groaned and shoved his head into the pillow to not let Chris take the jacket off him. "Baby please, it's not comfortable like this." He cooed again and fondled Richard's head. 

"Smells'ike you." He mumbled almost unintelligible and fell asleep again. Chris smiled and lay next to him, taking in all his features. He let out a breath in peace and he knew that was it, he wasn't gonna let Richard go again. Now that the source of his pain was gone maybe he could finally heal. "You're safe." He whispered and left a delicate kiss on Richard's fingers on the pillow and watched him until his eyelids were heavy with sleep and he fell into his own slumber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed it. Let me know.   
> This story is somehow really important to me, I think maybe it's cuz of some personal obstacles that I'm currently going through. The fact that I can pour my heart out into my words through Rammstein like this, without being judged feels so damn good, to be honest.   
> So... yeah. Thanks to all of you.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So finally it's done but before you read it let me warn you seriously about all the cheesy and smutty shit going on in this chapter. My soul is fucked into ashes in hell for this chapter. I know.

Chris opened his eyes, the bedroom was dark and the only light was the weak one coming through the window. It must've been almost midnight. Richard wasn't in bed. Chris got up and looked around. "Reeshie baby?" He called softly. A sound came from the kitchen, like some one just moved a chair. He walked into the living room. Everywhere was dark and the creepy stretched out shadows of the tall buildings were on the walls. Suddenly Chris walked on something slippery on the floor. He looked down and in the sudden yellow light that shined through the window, he saw the dark red liquid on the floor. "Richard?" He almost shouted in distress. Something in the kitchen caught the corner of his eyes. He turned around only to see him. He was there. How was he there? It was impossible. They got him that day.  
"Come on Christoph." Scorpio whispered. The sound of his playful tone washed the drummer with nausea.  
All Chris could see was the silhouette of the huge man. There was something else on the kitchen table. "Where's Richard?" He thought he could vomit at any given moment from the thick smell of blood mixed with his own anxiety. He walked towards the kitchen. The figure on the kitchen table was all he could see. It was Richard. He was gutted. His lifeless body was covered with blood and his intestines were on display. His hands and legs were hung from all four sides of the table. His blue eyes were wide open and pointed at the ceiling, like the last thing he saw scared the life out of him. "Isn't he pretty like this?" He chuckled and it sounded like the Satan himself.  
All Chris could do was screaming Richard's name. His own high piched voice rang painfully in his ears.  
"Chris? Chris wake up...hey..." His eyes snapped open, he was panting. Tears were running on his face and the hurtful sound of his own screams were still in his head. "Chris it's me,,, you're in bed,,, hey..."  
"Richard... Richard... oh god, Richard." He couldn't stop sobbing the name.  
"It's ok,,, I'm here,,, I'm here Chris. Here,,, do you feel it? I'm here...I'm with you..." Richard was above Chris on his side and had one hand on Chris's face and the other on his chest.  
His breaths were coming out short and fast. He stared up at Richard with eyes filled with terror. He pushed Richard into the mattress roughly and was now on top of him. He started kissing Richard madly and pushed his tongue in his mouth so hard like he was looking for the cure of death. He pinned Richard's hands on the mattress as harsh as possible. He wasn't aware of how wild his actions were. It was like he was still stuck in the nightmare. The memory of what he just saw, made him wince and kiss Richard harder.  
"I need to check on you,,, I... I need t-to feel,,, to know you're here,,, you're safe." He panted in Richard's neck with a hoarse and terrified voice. The image of him on the table was carved in his cornia. He had to check, to go through Richard's skin inch by inch, to make sure he was safe.  
"I'm right here,,, do whatever you need to do, it's ok Chris. I'm here, I'm with you. Touch me..." Richard whispered and sighed heavily. Deep and needy. Chris pulled his own body up and straddled Richard, he was still wearing Chris's leather jacket over his t-shirt. With one desperate move he tore Richard's t-shirt with his full force. He let out a deep breath when he felt Richard's skin under his fingertips. He ran his hands over Richard's body as the man under him keened quietly. He began sucking and nipping at his skin, all his control was gone. He was instincts all over, everything he knew at that moment was Richard and the desperate need to feel him and to make sure he was fine. He continued his way down and harshly lifted Richard's hips up to pull his pants down. "Chris..." Richard moaned and lifted himself up on his elbows to sit up. Chris just observed his actions, he needed to see his body moving.  
"May I?" Richard moved his hands near the collar of Chris's shirt and asked for permission. Chris only nodded and looked feverishly at him while Richard unbuttoned his shirt then unzipped his jeans. His movements were with too much longing that it made Chris to be able to feel him even more, but the craving was still there. The second Richard's long fingers touched his hard flesh and he felt the electricity rushing through him, he let out a deep breath with an open mouth and lifted his head up to the ceiling. Richard kissed his throat and kept brushing his lips over the skin there.  
"I'm here Christoph....I want your marks on my skin..." Chris took Richard's face firmly in his hands and took in every detail about his beautiful features. Richard's breathing were coming out too desperate and needy. His wet lips fell open as he glanced at Chris's. The drummer shoved him wildly into the mattress again and bit and sucked at the plush lips, Richard moaned and lifted his legs and pressed them against Chris's sides. The taller man groaned at the contact and broke the kiss after they both needed air. He spat on his palm and rubbed it over his own member then wetted his fingers and shoved them inside Richard. "No,,, just fuck me Chris. I want you, all of you." He moaned and lifted his hips up. Chris extracted his fingers and held his cock in one hand and towered over Richard, he watched his eyes rolling back as he shoved himself inside the tight hot hole. Richard gasped at the intrusion and his breaths began shortening. When Chris was fully in, he placed his hands above Richard's shoulders on the bed and started pumping into him madly. Feeling him, ravishing him and claiming him. He was making sure that Richard was real, that he was with him, that he was alive and not gutted by the devil on that goddamn table. The thought made him thrust even harder. "Wrap your legs around my waist..." He ordered harshly between heavy breaths. Richard complied and moaned loud as he felt Chris deeper inside him, milking his sensitive spot as hard as possible. "That's it, let me hear you, moan for me,,," Richard whimpered louder as Chris bit his neck. He wrapped his arms around Chris's neck and lifted his head up to scream in Chris's shoulder. He bit the flesh there harshly which made the man above him wail like a wounded animal. Chris slipped one hand between them to stroke Richard's leaking member roughly. There was no need to earn permission, Richard could feel it. He was on edge, he didn't even try to hold back. He let go as he felt the panting drummer filling him up with his release. Chris fell on top of him without pulling out of him, holding him and shoving his face in Richard's neck. They panted for minutes.  
"You're with me." Chris finally said and sighed in relief.  
"I'm with you." He wrapped his arms and legs around Chris.  
"You're mine." He sounded desperate.  
"I'm yours." The guitarist whispered in his ear.  
"Chris?" Richard whispered softly after minutes.  
"Hmm?"  
"I can't breath...... no no, don't pull out, just-" He added desperately when he thought Chris was gonna leave. "I won't." Chris flipped them on their sides so he wasn't on top of Richard any more. Richard breathed deeply and looked back into Chris's eyes. "Do you want to tell me about your nightmare?" Richard whispered and brushed a stray of curl off Chris's facs. The drummer only shook his head and nuzzled his fingers to Richard's face. "Do you want to sleep?" The drummer shook his head again. Not taking his eyes off Richard. "What do you want to do?"  
"Watch you." He whispered with a rough voice. Richard smiled brightly at him. They stared into each other's eyes, registering and taking in their feelings for one another.  
"I'm so sorry." Chris whispered after the pained look at the back of Richard's eyes, washed him with guilt.  
"For what?" Richard looked puzzled.  
"I failed you,,, I'm suppose to keep you safe and I failed." He murmured with shame in his deep blue eyes.  
"Hey... no,,, don't do that Chris, please don't say that. You can never fail me. You saved me. Again. If it weren't for you, I would've pulled that trigger. You saved me,,, you saved us." He kissed Chris's forehead.  
"Be mine Richard." Chris whispered oh so softly as Richard's lips where on his forehead.  
"I am all yours." His tone was accentuating.  
Chris rolled them to be on top of Richard again. "No,,, I mean be my bride,,, or groom. Whichever you choose. Just be mine Richard,,, marry me."  
Richard's eyes snapped wide as he stared up at Chris. "Y-You want me to marry you?"  
"I'm done letting you slip outta my hands, I mean I know that we probably can't even make it official on paper, but that doesn't matter. I want you for the rest of my life and I want you and everyone else to know that." He looked down at Richard wistfully.  
"Chris,,, I'm a fucked up mess. What if I can't make you happy? What if you regretted this? What if y-"  
Chris put a finger over Richard's lips, silencing him and smiled fondly at him. "You're MY fucked up mess and I love you and I worship you and I want to own you in every way possible. Your existence makes me happy Richard, every breath you take, every word you say, every single cute little thing that you do, all of them... they make me happy and satisfied."  
Richard peered at his waiting eyes, before smiling wide and bright. "Ok."  
"Ok to what?" A smile shaped in the corner of Chris's lips.  
"Ok, yes." Richard laughed quitely.  
"Ok yes to what?" He was practically grinning with one raised eyebrow.  
Richard pushed himself up and changed their position, straddling the drummer while he was still deep inside him.  
"Yes I will marry you, Yes I will be yours for fuckin ever." He shouted happily with laughter coloring his voice. Chris clutched into the laples of his leather jacket and pulled Richard down. "C'mere" They kissed slowly for minutes. It was at a consistent pace with occasional sighs of pleasure. For the next forty minutes it was just them kissing and touching and whispering to each other softly and quietly. It was heaven, it was replaced with every shitty thing that happened to them over the past couple months. They made love through the whole night until both were exhausted but so happy that nothing could wipe their smiles off their faces.  
"Shit,,, it's morning." Chris whispered as Richard fell on top of him for the third time that night, riding his fifth orgasm. He was panting in Chris's neck. The drummer kissed his temple while he was panting himself.  
"How would you feel about a long hot shower, Mrs. Schneider?" He said after he could get his breathing under control.  
Richard giggled before purring cutely. "I would love that, Mr. Schneider."  
Chris laughed and Richard pulled his hips off of the drummer and whimpered with the unwelcoming feel of emptiness inside him. Chris got off the bed and went to the bathroom to switch the water on when he heard Richard's loud whining coming from the room.  
"What is it?" He jumped out, worried.  
"My ass hurts like hell, it hurts to walk... fuck" He hissed when he tried to walk toward the bathroom. Chris grinned mischievously and walked over to him. "You got that reminder you wanted so bad, didn't you?" He asked playfully and picked a blushing Richard up in his arms and carried him like he was an actual bride. Richard wrapped his arms around his fiancé's neck and kissed his cheeks as Chris put him down under the spray of water. "My pretty little bride." Chris whispered and kissed him. Richard blushed again and Chris rubbed their noses together. He began washing him and kissing him, "This doesn't mean that you'll stop being my dominant, does it?" Richard asked concerned.  
"Do you want to stop being my submissive?" Chris smiled amused.  
"No, never." The answer came out quiet and it made Richard blush again.  
"Good, me neither."  
After they both were clean and wrapped in comfortable clothes, Chris started making them breakfast and Richard leaned against the cupboards watching him, cuz he was too sore to sit down. He glanced at his cigarette on the coffee table and sighed dramatically. Chris who was watching him carefully, smiled and said "Can't even walk over to your cigs, huh?"  
Richard made a complaining noise and looked at Chris with his big doe eyes. "No no, I won't get them for you. Those cute eyes and little noises aren't gonna work here."  
"Why not? Pleeeeease." The sweet bratty attitude again. Chris walked over to him, "Baby boy, you haven't eaten anything in one day. Your pretty tummy will hurt if you smoke now." He put his hand on Richard's stomach.  
"My tummy already hurts." He pouted and said like the sweet stubborn little brat he was.  
"It's cuz you're hungry, my delicious little cookie. you can smoke after you eat something. Alright bunny?" He slowly massaged the other man's stomach.  
"Cookie?" Richard grinned.  
"Yeah, you're my favorite taste of cookie, delicate and sweet and creamy in the middle. I could eat you all day." Chris smiled and bent over to kiss the smaller man's stomach just to make him giggle beautifully and nuzzle his hand into Chris's hair. "That actually soothes the pain,,, kiss my tummy again." Richard mused adorably only to have the dominant on his knees a second later.  
"Demanding things now, huh?" He looked up and gave him and amused smile.  
"Please master?" He pleaded and ran his fingers through Chris's hair.  
Chris smiled lovingly at him and lifted the man's shirt up to litter kisses on the smooth skin of Richard's perfectly muscled pecs. His kisses turned wet and his hands were resting on Richard's hips. The guitarist hummed in pleasure and peered down at his master kissing him with his eyes closed. "Sweet as a chocolate chip cookie you are." He whispered and got up then took Richard's face and softly kissed his lips before pressing their foreheads together. Richard made a content noise after Chris brushed his lips over the scar on his forehead.

 The guitarist finally agreed not to smoke on an empty stomach after getting kisses and cuddles from the dominant and they ate their breakfast standing up, they packed and Richard called the landlord regarding the lease. Everything was ready until that afternoon. They were finally going home. They decided to tell their band mates about the marriage and then come out to their families and other friends and after they had the ceremony, the public would probably find out.  
One day after their arrival, they invited the other four and after they all suffocated Richard with hugs, they sat around the living room.

"So what's the big news?" Paul asked impatiently.

Richard threw a shy glance at Chris before speaking. "We uhm... we're getting married."

 The room fell silent for a moment. The first huge smile belonged to Till, the others followed happily with shouts of disbelief and joy.

 "You knocked him up, didn't you?" Paul yelled jokingly at Christoph. Everyone burst into laughter. Richard smacked at Paul's shoulder while laughing.

 "You actually do have a special glow, I mean aside from the bite marks shining on your neck and god knows where else,,, you might really be pregnant." Ollie said, then he and Paul high fived and both were served with more smacks to their heads by Richard. That night while they were celebrating and joking and laughing at every stupid thing, Richard finally made his decision. "Till can I talk to you for a moment?" He whispered to the singer when he was laughing at a joke that was surprisingly told by flake.

 When they were alone in the kitchen, Till looked at him with concern. "What's wrong?"

 "Oh... nothing don't worry. I just wanted to ask you for a favor."

 "Anything, Reesh."

 "I don't really know when or how we're gonna have the ceremony but I... I wanted to ask you,,, since my father is gone and my brother... well kinda sucks, I would love it if you'd walk me down the aisle."

 "Are you serious? You... you want me to give you away? Me?" His deep green eyes were glinting with happiness.

 "Till you're practically my brother, you've always got my back and supported me through everything. You've always looked out for me and borne my shitty attitude. Only family does that, it just makes sense if you'd be the one who gives me away at my wedding."

 "I'd be so so so much honored." Till let out a soft affectionate laugh and they hugged each other. "I love you, you fuckin punk." He whispered to the smaller man. "I love you too, big brother."

 "Hey uhm... excuse me, what's going on over there?" Chris asked playfully from the living room.

 "Nothing you over possessive little shit." Till laughed as he wrapped one arm around Richard's shoulder.

 "Till will give me away at our wedding." Richard smiled happily at Chris.

 "That's right, I'm gonna be your father in law." Till snorted then kissed Richard's temple. They all cheered and Chris only gave their singer a big grateful smile, then glanced at his beloved. Ollie was right. He was really glowing, his happiness was contagious.

 "You know what else we need?" Paul asked them mischievously. "A bachelor party."

 "Urrrgh." Was the first reaction and it came out of flake.

 "Oh come on, you're dead inside." He said to flake and they laughed.

 "You can throw us a party, but seriously Paul. No strippers. I mean if Richard wants a stripper, it's ok, you can order-" The drummer suddenly cut his own words off and thought about it. "Yeah, ok. No. You know what? No strippers." He said quickly and it made them laugh again. Richard grinned at Christoph from across the room.

 "Whatever,,, you people are no fun." Paul pouted.

 "Oh come on Paulie, you want strippers? I'll take you to a strip club. We can even fix you a fake ID." Paul threw a cushion at Till after the singer snickered.

 "Not even a male stripper?" Ollie grinned at Christoph.

 "Nah, they're too gay for my taste." Chris said with a fake unimpressed tone.

 "Ehem ehem,,, and you're what exactly?" Richard crossed his arms over his chest and walked over to his fiance. He still had difficulty with walking and Chris knew that, so the sudden scrunched face made him grin devilishly before wrapping one arm around his irritated beloved.

 "I'm more of a... uhm... Richardo-sexual." He mused and leaned to leave a chaste kiss on Richard's lips. Richard blushed deep red, he wasn't used to public display of affection like that. They all laughed and joked. That night and the nights to come where perfect for all of them, especially for the couple. They wanted to have the ceremony as soon as possible. They came out to their families which wasn't the easiest thing to do, but everyone had accepted them with warmth and kindness. Chris even suggested Richard that they invite Tracy to Berlin for their wedding and Richard agreed. Everything was perfect and dreamy and about a week before the wedding, Paul threw them a bachelor party and invited all their friends. Even without strippers, Paul knew how to throw a party, it was so amazing and memorable for everyone. The party was over a little after midnight and the couple left after thanking everyone especially Paul.

 Richard was fumbling with the keys in his drunken haze to try and get the apartment's door open when Chris wrapped his arms around his waist. "I'm gonna fuck you,,, I'm gonna fuck you all night long." He whispered in Richard's ear, the guitarist giggled and could finally open the door then he clutched in Chris's tie and pulled the drummer behind him. "I've got a surprise for you." He whispered after he flopped Christoph down on the sofa. The dominant raised his eyebrows and looked at him expectantly. Richard stood in front of him. The pink blush rising on his cheeks were obvious even in the weak lighting of the semi-dark apartment. "I know you said you didn't want a stripper,,, male or female. But you're getting both." He had the most adorable shy smile as he untied his tie throwing it on the drummer's lap. Chris's eyes turned wide in disbelief and his grin was full of amusement. Richard took his white jacket off and walked over to the stereo to put on the music he had in mind. The sound of the familiar electronic rock song echoed through the room. Both men liked this song and had memories with it. Richard walked back in front of the dominant again. He started slowly unbuttoning his shirt and moved his hips to the sides in sync with the beat. The singer started singing in a low and provoking voice.

 'You let me violate you  
you let me desecrate you  
you let me penetrate you  
you let me complicate you'

 The shy stripper pulled his shirt out of his pants after it was open. Something around Richard's waist caught Chris's eyes. He stared at the delicate white piece of lingerie as Richard took his shirt off with the most slow motion act and started dancing and moving his hips with the tortures beat.

 'Help me  
I broke apart my insides  
help me I've got no soul to sell  
help me the only thing that works for me help me get away from myselfI want to fuck you like an animal  
I want to feel you from the Inside  
I want to fuck you like an animal my whole existence is flawed you get me closer to god'

 Chris was going crazy from the provocative text along with Richard's slow and hot movements. The little shit saw enough strippers in his life to know exactly what could drive a man insane. He began fumbling with his belt then his pants and leisurely took them off. Chris bit back a gasp when he saw what was underneath it. The white transparent pantie hose were thigh high and connected to the small piece of delicate fabric around his waist with suspenders. When he turned around and spread his legs and bent over, Chris saw that the lacy underwear was only covering his frontal area and his pretty ass was completely on display with only one string of lace between his ass cheeks.

 You can have my isolation  
You can have the hate that it brings  
You can have my absence of faith  
You can have my everything Help me

Help me  
Tear down my reason  
Help me  
It's your sex I can smell  
Help me  
You make me perfect  
Help me become somebody else

 After he danced through another verse, the little tease strutted slowly toward Chris, not breaking the eye contact and stood between his spread out knees. He took Chris's wrists and lifted them to put them on the top frame of the sofa so he wouldn't touch him. Then straddled the master and gripped on the sofa behind Chris and swung his hips in a fleeting manner while throwing his head back and moaning silently as he felt how hard Chris was for him. He kept rubbing himself against the drummer to the beat.

 I want to fuck you like an animal  
I want to feel you from the inside  
I want to fuck you like an animal  
My whole existence is flawed  
You get me closer to god

Through every forest above the trees  
Within my stomach scraped off my knees  
I drink the honey inside your hive  
You are the reason I stay alive

 "My sluty bride." Chris bit back a moan and held on Richard's waist. The guitarist all but stopped his movements and swatted his hands which made Chris even more crazy. "You have to pay if you wanna touch." Richard bit his lips with a devilish smile. Chris looked up at him with an even bigger amused smile. "Ok." Two could play a game. Chris reached for the inside pocket of his coat to pull his wallet out. He pulled a fifty euro bill and stuck it in the waistband of Richard's underwear. "How much for spanking you?" His tone was so dark that Richard could faint right there.

 "Another one of those.... two if you wanna fuck me" The song was over. Chris pulled out a hundred and held it between his hands near Richard's lips. Richard opened his lips to get the bill but Chris pulled it slightly back. "Tell me what you are tonight."

 "I'm your slut." He whispered and took the paper between his teeth and gasped loudly as he was served with the first hard smack on his ass. "That's right, you're my little slut." The second one was harder and it made Richard yelp loudly. Chris held on his hips and pushed him down on his lap harshly and showed him how to move. Richard started swinging his delicious hips and grinding hard on the dominant, Chris threw his head back and Richard leaned in to kiss and lick up his neck. The master moved his hands to squeeze those perfect ass cheeks.  
"Ich will mit dir spielen." He whispered darkly in Richard's ear while running his hands over the sub's back. "Master..." He moaned and Chris held on his ass firmly and picked him up, Richard wrapped his legs around his waist. Instead of their bedroom Chris took him to the other room. Their apartment had two bedrooms and they'd turned one of them into a small gym. Richard was surprised, he didn't know why the master would bring him here, until he found out and his eyes glinted with mischief. There was a wide and high horizontal bar in the room in shape of a metal pipe, it was about two meters high. Chris put Richard down under the bar. "Untie my tie." He ordered and Richard complied and handed the tie to Christoph.

 "Arms up." He threw the tie over the horizontal bar and tied Richard's wrists with it, the smaller man had to be slightly on his tiptoes to be able to stand and not be suspended by his wrists. Chris ran his hands over the tied up body. Practically eating him with his eyes.

 "You're lucky if you survive me tonight, little whore." He slapped hard on Richard's chest and the man whimpered. "Please master."

 "Shhhh..." He brushed his thumb on Richard's parted lips, the guitarist looked right in his eyes as he clamped the thumb down between his teeth and swirled his tongue over it then slowly sucked around it after Chris pushed his finger in. "So eager to suck, aren't you?" He smacked Richard's ass with his other hand and Richard moaned and bit down at his finger in response. The drummer pulled his finger out and started littering bites and kisses along with occasional licks on Richard's neck, throat and shoulders. The tied up man was a moaning mess. He threw his head back to give his master better access. Chris was now sucking on his nipples and running his tongue over his perfect pecs, he spanked him again and it made the guitarist gasp and push forward. Chris bit his nipples and slowly moved his head up only to begin kissing Richard roughly and rubbing his hard nipples between his fingers. Richard moaned desperately in his mouth, Chris broke the kiss but Richard who needed more, parted his lips further and begged while panting. "Please,,, please don't stop kissing me." He cried out as Chris pinched his nipples and licked them then began kissing him again, even more hungrily. The drummer bit so hard on his lips that he drew some blood and made Richard wail. "Fuck baby... even you're blood is delicious." This kind of violence always turned Chris on more than anything else. He started playing with Richard's nipples again. "Should I keep playing with your nipples till you come, or you don't wanna ruin your pretty little panties?" He had Richard completely on edge, all he needed was one more push.

 "I can't... come." Richard panted.

 "Why not bunny?" He furrowed in confusion.

 "Look,,, i-in there." He looked down at his own crotch where there was a big buldge. Chris hastily stuck his finger in the waistband and looked in it with worry. When he saw it, his eyes turned even darker and he raised his eyebrows with the most feral smile. Richard had put on a cock ring. "Oh baby,,, baby, aren't you full of sweet surprises for me tonight?"

 "I know you like this ring on me, I wanted to be a good boy for you tonight." He said shyly.

 "You're always good for me, my sexy little bunny. Right now you're extra extra good. You're about to be rewarded baby doll." He kissed Richard again and untied him. Richard whimpered, his arm muscles were cramped. Chris held him and guided him to the two small benches near the wall.

 "Get on the bench on all fours." He ordered and watched as the submissive obeyed. He unclipped the stockings and pulled the underwear off Richard, the guitarist helped by lifting his knees then his ankles. Chris sat on his knees behind Richard and kissed his perfectly rounded cheeks which had a pretty shadow of pink on them. "Pretty pet." Chris whispered and kissed the back of his thighs. "Show me your tight little hole, gorgeous." Richard spread his knees and moaned at his dirty demanding words. "My beautiful pink flower." Chris breathed out and Richard keened desperately.  
He held on Richard's thighs and began kissing and licking the smooth skin of his ass cheeks. Looking closely, the almost completely fade lash lines that Chris had left there with his belt, were still visible. He was such a good boy during the last few weeks that he didn't receive any severe punishments.  
Chris parted his cheeks and licked between them making Richard gasp for air, the dominant flicked and swirled his tongue over the pink hole and enjoyed as his little pet screamed in pleasure.

 "Master,,, oh fuck,,, fuck please please..." Richard screamed again as Chris's tongue entered him, eating him from inside out. He stretched his hands and massaged the sub's nipples. Richard felt like a building that was on fire from inside but its windows couldn't explode therefore the fire was stuck inside, burning and melting everything. He couldn't fathom anything else but Chris's wet hot tongue moving inside him and his fingers pinching his nipples.  
All he could do was letting out loud whorish moans. It was the most intense pleasure he'd ever received. Chris let go of his nipple and his ass and began undressing himself while kissing Richard's thighs.

 "Turn around baby." Richard's whole body was shaking madly, when he turned around, he moaned at the sight of his naked master and his hard cock. Chris helped him sit on the bench and lean against the wall then pulled his baby's knees apart and spread them wide.

 "Please..." He begged and wasn't even able to make a complete sentence. Chris smiled at him and freed his cock from ring. Richard's breath came out with the prettiest little noise. "Hello pretty." He whispered and kissed Richard's tip. "Time to let go." He flashed a devilish smile.

 Chris kneeled in front of him and watched him for a moment. He was the most beautiful mess that the drummer had ever laid eyes on.  
"Can you come for me? Without being touched." He whispered.

 "N-no please touch me, please let me come master." He whined pettily.

 "Do you want my cock inside you? You see how hard I am for you baby?" Chris touched his own member and the sight drove Richard crazy as he nodded. "I want to drink your delicious cum before I fuck you, all you have to do is come." Richard's member twitched at his words. "See? The gorgeous little one wants to come too, you can do this baby." He stared at Chris's hands wrapping around his own member. Richard bit his lips and let out more horny noises. "It's all up to you baby, let go and we can continue. Come on, you've wanted this all day, my pretty little bride. Do you want me to fill you up or not?" Richard nodded as he felt like he could explode at any second. "I do, I do. Please." He felt his precum and he tensed up. "That's it, good pet." Chris leaned in and licked over the precum. "God you're so fuckin sweet, master needs more, baby. Give me all you got." Chris licked his lips. Richard felt his body squeezing from inside, he whimpered loudly as he finally let go. His vision went black as the intense orgasm hit him. Chris eagerly licked over his thighs and stomach where the pearly fluid had spilled. He gripped on Richard's arms pulling him down on the floor kissing him.  
"Master..." Richard was trembling like crazy but he still wanted Christoph besides his orgasm wasn't completely over, he was still on edge. "You promised." He whispered faintly. Chris smiled. "I know baby, turn around. Hold on to the bench, bunny." Richard did as he was told and spread his knees on the hard floor. Chris was about to explode from the built up in his stomach, he pushed inside the sloppy tight hole and thrusted madly through Richard's loud moans. He clutched into the sub's black hair and pulled back, making his lower back arch down so he was deeper inside him. Richard screamed in sheer pleasure. Chris pumped roughly into him for another couple minutes, assaulting on his prostate, driving him insane with each hard hit and they both were near their releases.  
"You wanna come, baby?" Chris panted between hard thrusts. "Yes, yes please touch me master." Richard cried out as Chris began stroking him roughly. A few more thrusts and they were done. Chris filled up the tight hole and Richard let go, this time completely. The dominant unhooked the suspender fabric from around his baby's waist. Richard was still shaking and trying to breathe.  
The master stayed like that, caressing the plaint shaking body so his baby could relax before he pulls out of him.  
He kissed Richard's shoulder blades and slowly pulled out so it wouldn't hurt. Richard moaned silently and shivered. "Shhh I've got you pretty, it's ok.....look I'm dripping out of you." Chris smiled and added when he saw his cum dripping between Richard's thighs. He picked his boxers and cleaned Richard up. Then helped him on his feet. "Come on bunny, let me get you to bed." Richard was about to black out so Chris picked him up again in his arms and carried him to their bedroom and laid him bed before taking his pantie hose off and lying next to him, holding him. The smaller man used the last bit of his energy to snuggle to his master. He made a small noise when Chris held him tight and kissed his temple. "Master,,, was I good?" His voice was hoarse and his eyes were half lidded. "You were unbelievably amazing, the best little baby. My own personal stripper." He chuckled. "You know?" He added and Richard opened his eyes to look up at him.

 "I was gonna propose to you with that ring, I thought you might like it better than a regular ring for your finger." He smiled and kissed Richard's fingers. The guitarist giggled weakly. "Now that I know this, I'll probably get hard at the alter when you're putting a regular ring on my finger." Chris laughed softly at his comment.

 "Yeah and I'll get hard when you say I do cuz I'll be reminded of your screams tonight." Richard blushed and shoved his face into the Master's chest.

 "Liebe mich, Meister. Bitte." Richard whispered after a couple minutes with his small and trembling voice and it tore Chris's heart in half.

 "I love you so fuckin much, Richard. I love you with everything I have. I will go on loving you until I breath." He swallowed the lump in his throat and fondled his hair keeping him tighter and closer to himself. Richard made a small noise and couldn't stop his eyelids from falling.

 

Everything was fine, Richard was safe and he was with him. Forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really enjoyed writing this story, I hope you guys liked the ending. I was gonna scrape the marriage part cuz it's too cheesy for my taste but I thought why not finish it like those good'ol fairy tales.   
> Thank you.
> 
> PS. The song was "Closer" by Nine inch nails.


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